druglessdouglas a dit:
i hope im making sense. my brain is very tired just now because ive been doing a lot[heroic! lol] of mushrooms (not once was i sick or did i shit myself BTW)
I feel you, I'm by far not ready again to undergo psilocybe at the maximum level.
Once your brains can't process any constructed information anymore for a signal to act or move in the way you want, you know you're devastated. There's no shape, form, or solid consciousness in which you can identify yourself. Seems that every wave that flows beyond, is alien or someone else.
Such a very strong discomfort and the best part of the experience is the next day when your consciousness is regained to a solid structure with a self purpose in which you can recognise yourself. And the possibility to choose course.
Taken this into consideration, I may have only had one true mushrooms trip which may be marked as a transformation. Hence the piss on my floor which I launched when I was lying sidways on my bed. Couldn't build a structure for a choosed motoric movement, let alone get up to judge my environment.
Makes you wonder how clinically LSD actually feels compared to a full dose of shrooms; that, and the portions in smartshops that are actually producing threshold experiences.
After the devastation, the re-gaining of my individual consciousness felt like from being no one in a liquid bath, to getting in a shape with minor self recognition, followed by releasing I'm placed in an interior and psychical presence with impulses connected and responding with my consciousness.
I wonder or we humans went the same way to come to our basic sober existance with an own will. I gave up trying to find an answer actually... as this has thrown me into a mental twinst.
Liquid world - Solid world, I always considered that as the path which I went to come to a stable solid consciousness that's me. From there on it looks a game, a game that no one can win but only throws us back into the liquid bath we were once made from.
I do believe that if we would and could all witness for ourselve how, and where we were individually created from, a lot of the negative energy which we carry on our shoulders and project to each other will be dissoluted.
What enlighted me the most in preventing from getting depressed is that I ain't do attempts to fit within the pressure circle of the society, or what I'd call a game in which we reflect.
I'll merely participate, but draw my own lines to make me feel I'm worth enough to live with pleasure and satisfaction.