Your greatest fear.

[HeartCore]

. You'd be utterly isolated, imprisoned as a witness to a meaningless predetermined universe.

But that's contradictory to omnipotence. Someone omnipotent could escape, make the universe undetermined and if all else fails, blank it's own memory and reset the whole game from start

 

[st.bot.32]

funny, i used to make up stories like that when i was a kid.. i'd be god, make the universe just the way i wanted it, then throw myself into my own creation. guess i used to read a looot of sci fi

the funny thing is god denies and loses his omnipotence by doing this. now that i think of it, it's sort of like the jesus christ story i guess

 

[Proteus]

My biggest fear is, and always was, death. Many people undergo their first "contact" with the concept of fear during puberty, I claim that most people just ignore and forget it, instead of really undergoing the process of accepting death. I don't know, I never was able to really find my peace with it.

A curious thing: Most times I take psychadelics the come up is often coloured by visions of death or the feeling that I'm going to die. I've lain on the floor a few times, really expecting it to happen, only to get up later and go make a cup of tea, etc. Its become so common that I now sort of expect it.

Also, when I'm falling asleep I usually get a sudden shock of fear close to unconsciousness that briefly wakes me up again before I can fully drift off. Its a fear of death.

I've nearly died several times from illness only to fully recover afterwards. I think this is why the above happens. I used to fall asleep wondering if I'd ever wake up again and so would fight falling asleep.

I think most people ignore and forget it, or perhaps, the fear is left at such a deep level that they don't consciously realise it is there until it seems immanent. I also think that you can make peace with it only for it to slowly return later when the heat is off, although it gets much easier.

The good side is that if I've had a death fear shock, afterwards I feel like I have nothing to lose and my fears about all sorts of things seem trivial.

 

[infinitetransistor]

thats what this is man isnt that the idea of this website?

you enjoy myself?

im a real nowhere man sitting in my nowhere land?

free fall flow river flow, on and on it goes, breathe underwater till the end, yes the river knows?

 

[random]

I, my ego, fear what freedom/liberation/enlightment might feel like.

I hope that my first psychedelic experience (it will be mescaline probably) helps me with this issue.

 

[restin]

A curious thing: Most times I take psychadelics the come up is often coloured by visions of death or the feeling that I'm going to die. I've lain on the floor a few times, really expecting it to happen, only to get up later and go make a cup of tea, etc. Its become so common that I now sort of expect it.

Also, when I'm falling asleep I usually get a sudden shock of fear close to unconsciousness that briefly wakes me up again before I can fully drift off. Its a fear of death.

I've nearly died several times from illness only to fully recover afterwards. I think this is why the above happens. I used to fall asleep wondering if I'd ever wake up again and so would fight falling asleep.

I think most people ignore and forget it, or perhaps, the fear is left at such a deep level that they don't consciously realise it is there until it seems immanent. I also think that you can make peace with it only for it to slowly return later when the heat is off, although it gets much easier.

The good side is that if I've had a death fear shock, afterwards I feel like I have nothing to lose and my fears about all sorts of things seem trivial.

I feel very much connection to what you say, except for that I did not have any direct 'contact' to death. When we stripe everything down, it seems to be the only topic worth thinking of.

 

[Crimzen]

i think its the thought of becoming insane that scares me most

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

A curious thing: Most times I take psychadelics the come up is often coloured by visions of death or the feeling that I'm going to die. I've lain on the floor a few times, really expecting it to happen, only to get up later and go make a cup of tea, etc. Its become so common that I now sort of expect it.

LOL, very familiar! Just two or three weeks ago I took five blotters and when I was starting to peak I called my ex-wife (who had requested this). After some incoherent talk as well as ecstatic rapture (because of the incantation), I started having visions of accidents, chaos, physical decay and death, and told her I needed help. In my dreamy state I said "I need help! Send help!" Then a little later the phone rings, and it's my employer, telling me she got a phone call from my ex, that I had said I needed help. But by that time I was completely blissful, just a little occupied with finding the right music on my swirling media player. I told her I was fine, and that although I did remember saying I needed help, I also remembered it was just something I said in the context of the visions I was having, and that I was surprised she had contacted her. It wasn't a bad trip or anything. In fact it was a very successful experiment.

 

[Bastiaan]

This all being one, I am (the creator of) everything thing, exactly as you describe (and realizing this, could change it or simply make it all cease to exist) I had in an acid trip once. I wanted to go deeper into it at first but the fear of becoming insane or stuck somewhere withheld me from it. That rabbit hole is right where I left it, but I think I'm just gonna leave it alone..

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

I wanted to go deeper into it at first but the fear of becoming insane or stuck somewhere withheld me from it.

Hmm, now that you mention it, that (getting stuck somewhere) used to be a fear of mine, but not anymore.

 

[infinitetransistor]

My greatest fear is that my fear is controlling me and i cant stop it. and im going through a mindless repition of thoughts because my mind is contained by the fear.

 

[Brugmansia]

Pain.

 

[Psyolopher]

I found a fear of mine these last days....and its confusion.

 

[Tunnelvision]

my biggest fear btw is one of my parents or brother dying or becoming deaf or blind.

 

[Quark13]

Pain.

Fear seems to function as a protection layer against pain. (emotional, physical, spiritual) so telling about my biggest fear automatically transfers to my biggest pain, which is the pain of not being recognized for who I am.

Fear of death also creeps up on me on several entheogenic trips wich includes a recent salviatrip using the quid method (13 fresh leaves)
To me fear of death seems to be closely related to fear of life (the pain of not living my life to the fullest)

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

my biggest fear btw is one of my parents or brother dying or becoming deaf or blind.

This happened to me within a time span of 6 years. First my beloved brother died, then my grandmother went blind, another grandmother died, then my father died, and my blind grandmother received euthanasia. In this period my mother almost lost her leg due to post-traumatic dystrophy (which we managed to keep in check with massive doses of anti-oxidants), my wife started a secret but noticeable affair with another guy, and I myself suffered immense postoperative pain, day and night, for two or three years in a row.

My biggest fear is that I will have to go through a similar period of suffering again. I especially fear something bad happening to my children.

 

[Tunnelvision]

my biggest fear btw is one of my parents or brother dying or becoming deaf or blind.

This happened to me within a time span of 6 years. First my beloved brother died, then my grandmother went blind, another grandmother died, then my father died, and my blind grandmother received euthanasia. In this period my mother almost lost her leg due to post-traumatic dystrophy (which we managed to keep in check with massive doses of anti-oxidants), my wife started a secret but noticeable affair with another guy, and I myself suffered immense postoperative pain, day and night, for two or three years in a row.

My biggest fear is that I will have to go through a similar period of suffering again. I especially fear something bad happening to my children.

Thats really sad to hear Caduceus..i mean...how much can a man handle>? I cannot imagine how this must be, cause i never experienced it, but I understand it must be really really hard and your kids must be a big motivation for you to stay positive i guess. Do you live together with your kids in 1 house?

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

Your kids are obviously ascending into spiritually mature humans Ivar... you should not fear for them. As an ascending being the first thing I felt was important to do is make sure my parents would not fear for something happening to me.

Everytime they tought about it it's like I felt some kind of eerie feeling which disturbed me and might have caused me to de bistracted and have said accident. I even had to talk to them about it... it took about 10 years for them to finally understand. So it's natural, but counterproductive.

Ascending children are given new dream from the earth, what you can do however is find out if there are sources of corruption around them, by following your insight about that in lucid dreams, then finding subtle ways to introduce it in a communication, but not premeditated, if it's not spontaneous they won't listen. For some reason, it's my experience, and since I'm still an adolescent, I think it applies or soon will.

I know it might sound strange, but dystrophy is usually caused by lack of symbiotic mushrooms in that part of the body... lack of ionic mineral transfer makes limbs shrivel and blacken. The bad guys can be killed with the chlorine dioxide I talked about, bathing the limb in it *diluted in water of course* (lots of dead stuff should be pulled out, making the water very cloudy) then once it's very clean, you apply a layer of clay oil.

That is made with ultrafine clay and olive oil (ozonated for an hour or two if possible) ; you mix those until a thick consstency that leaves a nice layer when spread, and then you wrap the limb into cloth and sleep with it. It should be pink within 2-3 weeks.

To reinforce the bones is essential, so mineral supplements (3-magnesium AND 1-calcium together at least), and make sure said antioxidants aren't ascorbic acid !

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

but I understand it must be really really hard and your kids must be a big motivation for you to stay positive i guess. Do you live together with your kids in 1 house?

No, they live with their mother, but I see them every weekend.

Actually of all the things that happened in recent years, the physical pain was worst, because there was no way I could forget about that. While trying to fall asleep, tripping or playing with my kids, the signal was always there, constantly increasing and decreasing in intensity, and it almost drove me insane.

The death of my brother, father and grandparents I had anticipated, and I had mentally prepared myself for the death of loved ones (and myself) by studying Vedantic philosophy for several years. Through my personal explorations I had discovered that personality/character and longevity are intimately connected, so that when a person dies there's really nothing to lament about.

I accepted all events without much resistance (understanding why they had to go). But intense physical pain, especially when it disturbs your sleep and psychedelic experiences, is very difficult to handle. I'm glad it ended last year.

My children are definitely a great source of inspiration for me, and the main reason why I'm still trying to earn money. If it weren't for them, I'd probably move out of the country and join a commune or ashram somewhere.

I mean, check out my youngest son's first composition. Guitar and drums played by seven year old Thadeus (I mixed two videos to create this one). He and his older brother are practicing several hours a day and I don't have to do anything to encourage them. You should hear them play Purple Haze, it's astonishing!

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

Your kids are obviously ascending into spiritually mature humans Ivar... you should not fear for them.

I understand, and fortunately there's not much to fear. They live in a safe environment and are by nature cautious. Me worrying about possible doom scenarios is not going to help them, and like you said may even have averse effects.

I know it might sound strange, but dystrophy is usually caused by lack of symbiotic mushrooms in that part of the body...

In her case it was as follows: she had taken a break from her work because of the death of her son. Then when she went to her job again (she was a teacher at a school for autistic and deaf children) on the very first day she got some gym equipment on her foot, fracturing a bone. Some weeks later she was diagnosed with post-traumatic dystrophy. The first three or four weeks she let the doctors give it a try, then started taking the food supplements I had suggested.

and make sure said antioxidants aren't ascorbic acid !

She says she's satisfied with her current daily regimen of vitamin C (yes, ascorbic acid, 1000mg, along with rutine and other bioflavanoids), an antioxidant supplement (carotenoids, vitamin E, selenium, alpha lipoic acid etc.), and MSM caps (1500mg a day). She also applies MSM topically. I'll keep your suggestions in mind though.