SSRI Decline effects of psychedelic drugs -Can i reverse it?

[rafael1000]

I feel soooo bad that i want to kill myself or sleep for eternity, or take drugs to forgot.

I want to fly in the sky, escape from my life, be another person.

My only desire is to attain nirvana

Are you sure you don’t confuse these with each other?

Yes, I am very confused. SInce years and years i invented a virtual world, staying in my room with my virtual friends and my virtual paradise (the drugs), and go out only to have drugs or take drugs.
I must confront to the world, go out, meet people. But it will be difficult, I am a beginner in sociability. I want to have a happy life, but I don't know how.
These shitty antidepressor are still in my brain, in my blood.
Tomorrow I was sad and nostalgious, then I smoked a joint with a friend and drink 1/3 glass of beer, and i feel so different... Don't paying attention to the world, no emotions, just lost in my thoughts. And no motivation. Just want to sleep.

 

[Meduzz]

another idea: get something to work on. something to keep you busy.
doing nothing all day often leads to depression.

 

[rafael1000]

another idea: get something to work on. something to keep you busy.
doing nothing all day often leads to depression.

The only thing that keeps me busy is my computer. I have stopped all my other activities since years.
I don't know who I am. I don't know what to think, what to believe, I am so disinterested by real life. Don't want to work since years. Lost interests. I don't know if stopping drugs is a good idea, because it's only on drugs that i feel sociable, capable to speak to strangers? I have so much problems since when i am a child. I can't find love because I don't know how to act on society.

Here is my blog that i made with a friend (my pseudo is "Awfulife")

http://v-d-m.skyrock.com/

 

[tryptonaut]

Rafael, I can understand how you feel (has been pretty similar for me). The advise you get to "read this and that book" and "think about yourself blabla..." really won't help at all, I know...
What helped me out of a very desperate situation was when I finally realized what I wanted to do in my life and I got a job training. I was on fluoxetine at the time, but that was only helpful for a few months - ssris are drugs as well and after some time they begin to lose their effect just like any other drug.
What helps me keep my focus and re-gain my lust for life is a heavy shroom trip from time to time. Helps a lot better than fluoxetine in my opinion.
I am still not completely over my depression and social anxiety problems - I just realized it in the last few months. I always have to keep myself in control so I don't become an alcoholic, I have managed to get myself off of amphetamines. Amphetamines are the greatest drugs, I drool when only thinking about a good pill or speed, but, as you realized yourself, they only help for a few hours and then everything becomes worse.
For me it feels like, when taking amphetamines, then I become the person I always knew I was, but couldn't be. When I first took a pill in '95 it was like "wow, this has been missing my whole life, now that's how it feels to be normal, like I always wanted to be!"

I don't have any particular advice (if I had, all my problems were solved...) but what helped me most, I think, was getting an interesting and fairly creative job where I have to deal a lot with people. Also getting new friends who don't take drugs helped a lot, I think. And of course the shrooms, some heavy tripping made me re-discover the beauty of life again (and after a good trip I'm not depressed at all like with amphetamines or alcohol, on the opposite, my mood is better for weeks)

 

[Meduzz]

yes, but tripping can get nasty when using it against a depression. i don't speak of personal experience, but my advice would be to do an ayahuasca ceremony under guidance of an experienced shaman.

 

[tryptonaut]

yes, but tripping can get nasty when using it against a depression.

I know, I started using high doses of shrooms when I was fairly over my problems (already had a job, was off of fluoxetine). And my trips where often pretty nasty in the beginning, but in the second half they always turn into heaven on earth - I feel when I force my mind through this often difficult experience of a trip, it makes me stronger psychologically. When you can withstand the horrors that 8g shrooms can face you with, then what else in life can scare you anymore?
I was recently in a situation where I was getting uncomfortable with a lot of new people in a bar, then I took a deep breath and let go (something I learned while tripping) and it helped, the uncomfort was gone.

 

[rafael1000]

Yes, my first trip with mushrooms in amsterdam (10g fresh Hawaiian) was intense, with fears to confront and lot of fun, and after the trip I feel relaxed, wasted of my emotions, so good...
Then I took Colombians and it was also a very good experience for me.

When I first took a pill in '95 it was like "wow, this has been missing my whole life, now that's how it feels to be normal, like I always wanted to be!"

It was the same for me with cocain, few weeks ago i tested it, and I feeled so normal !
And the same with MDMA for love.

So now I don't know what to do. I don't know if Venlafaxine can help me, escitalopram was working on my sociability only when drinking alcohol, but it was dangerous because I coun't stop drinking and had violence problems and bad trips problems.
After the first messages I had on this topic, I stopped all antidepressors.
Now I can't know what to do, trying effexor or not...

I just want to be sociable and have self confidence, feel good with other people...

 

[rafael1000]

Yesterday, I took 1mg xanax to sleep, because i was thinking to my all life and wanting to scream, to forget all.
Today, when i woke up, i was so sad, I just want to sleep again and again. I feel so bad now. Only want to take drugs to feel better or drugs to forget all...
All my life seems to be an horrible nightmare, I have missed so much things... I don't know what to do. I think I will smoke a joint to feel better. I have so cold...

 

[BrainEater]

Hey!

shit man sounds really bad!! but i honestly wanna tell you that it's not a reason to lose your hope!!! i mean that's not bringing you any benefit. anyway smoking a joint is probably a good thing to do. relax and try to get a clear head. and it's not so hard to get to know people that don't treat you like shit and are nice to you, you'll need to move with your eyes open and use your brain too. you'll know when you meet that kind of people, but be aware.

and yes stop the anti-depressant shit, it's really no good for you this chemical shit medicines.

peace :wink:

 

[Forkbender]

Yesterday, I took 1mg xanax to sleep, because i was thinking to my all life and wanting to scream, to forget all.
Today, when i woke up, i was so sad, I just want to sleep again and again. I feel so bad now. Only want to take drugs to feel better or drugs to forget all...
All my life seems to be an horrible nightmare, I have missed so much things... I don't know what to do. I think I will smoke a joint to feel better. I have so cold...

You haven't missed a thing, you were always there.

You need a hug.
Next time you're in Amsterdam drop me a line.

 

[rafael1000]

Thanks for your help, you gived me some hope

Today was finally a great day, spending time with my father, buying gifts for my family, smoking a joint watching a movie (true romance) and now I feel fine, happy.
I bought a book, "How to love you to better live with others", when I will finish reading it i will buy "Siddharta", like you told me, it seems to be a really good book.

I have much to learn and discover, and I decided to fully open my mind...

And I stopped antidepressors, it's not good to be fully lucid, you're right.

Thx Forkbender, I really love the city of Amsterdam (so much good memories here, beautiful city, and nice people), each time i smell odor of weed it reminds me Amsterdam , and when I'll have money to go there, I'll call you

Now goodbye and sweet dreams everybody

 

[BrainEater]

Hey mate!! That sounds plain nice!! I'm really impressed!!...i hope for you that everything will be alright and wish you all the strength you need for making it!! Good Luck!!

peace

 

[rafael1000]

Yesterday I had a discussion with my mother and i realized that she knows so much... She knows how to meditate to liberate each organ 1 to 1 and then liberate her spirit of the body and elevate it... She will learn me that.
She works with magnetism, hypnotism, she can see "dead spirits"... She knows much about bouddhism.
Her job is to cure people.
I have always thinked that this was shit, but now I realize that she can help me to completely open my spirit... No need for drugs to open his spirit, like Timothy Leary said :
"Such experiences of enlarged consciousness can occur in a variety of ways: sensory deprivation, yoga exercises, disciplined meditation, religious or aesthetic ecstasies, or spontaneously. Most recently they have become available to anyone through the ingestion of psychedelic drugs such as LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, DMT, etc. Of course, the drug does not produce the transcendent experience. It merely acts as a chemical key—it opens the mind, frees the nervous system of its ordinary patterns and structures."

And thx BrainEater, for the moment I feel really happy to stop chemical medicine and to be lucid... It's like a reborn...

I am also decided to travel around the world and leave France to meet good people, pure spirits...

 

[silv]

Yesterday I had a discussion with my mother and i realized that she knows so much... She knows how to meditate to liberate each organ 1 to 1 and then liberate her spirit of the body and elevate it... She will learn me that.
She works with magnetism, hypnotism, she can see "dead spirits"... She knows much about bouddhism.
Her job is to cure people.
I have always thinked that this was shit, but now I realize that she can help me to completely open my spirit... No need for drugs to open his spirit, like Timothy Leary said :
"Such experiences of enlarged consciousness can occur in a variety of ways: sensory deprivation, yoga exercises, disciplined meditation, religious or aesthetic ecstasies, or spontaneously. Most recently they have become available to anyone through the ingestion of psychedelic drugs such as LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, DMT, etc. Of course, the drug does not produce the transcendent experience. It merely acts as a chemical key—it opens the mind, frees the nervous system of its ordinary patterns and structures."

And thx BrainEater, for the moment I feel really happy to stop chemical medicine and to be lucid... It's like a reborn...

I am also decided to travel around the world and leave France to meet good people, pure spirits...

Wow dude, I haven't replied to this thread but it looks you're doing really good! Keep up the good works and don't forget to visit the netherlands
Do ask your mother for help, she seems the ideal person to help you.

 

[Malaeus]

i have been through almost the same thing you are explaining. and i can tell you from personal experience that the drugs, both Rx and illegal do NOT help... they make you "feel better" because it simply slows you down and does not allow you to feel much of anything.

first you need to find something that interests you and get out there and do it.
with no drugs at all.

once you have something that you can do, some form of creation, art.
then you can start pulling down all those feelings of depression, (it will do it for you) the moment you can create something of your own and be proud of it, your depression will go away.

and i know you are probably saying, "but i cant do anything, etc etc." well, thats the drugs talking.

you have become to dependant on these substances.

honestly, its a bit rash. but it will most likely work if you are strong enough..

do DMT, alot of it. and in that crazy ass trip. do not give in wonder or fear or anything. and watch yourself inside of yourself. speak with these "creatures" who some believe to be an echo of your subconcious and unconcious mind. your fears, your flaws, etc. once you can come to terms with all of these "creatures" you will feel alot better. DMT is not drug.. its a tool to well being and enlightenment.

make sure you have a good friend, or a doctor, or someone you can trust with you while you do it. just to be safe.

ive done similar things myself, and now im not taking any meds whatsoever. im not a drunk, im not addicted to anything at all. except life itself.

good luck and may the gods smile upon you.


enough for my rant,

BTW - HI EVERYONE!!!

 

[????????]

hi Malaeus, good advices