SEX!

[magickmumu]

Somehow I have the feeling this will not end up in sex.

Can you guys please stop raping this thread? Start your own thread if you want to fight with each other... Or better, there's such a thing as pm's.

If you guys would meet each other in a bar tonight, you guys would have a great evening. Stop waisting your energy with this yes/no/good/bad thingie.

Just a suggestion...

I totaly agree

 

[Oknayd]

may i suggest an orgy

 

[magickmumu]

may i suggest an Orgia

 

[magickmumu]

do you know how to become a sex machine

 

[GOD]

My opinion :-


" I'm back with the mother of my children for about a month now. I'm very happy."

When i read that i nearly puked . Haveing told you that i know several people in the circles you mix in , allthough what you say is maybe on the face of it true , it is also in my opinion very disshonest . And dont start saying i should name names again . That might be your level but i dont betray people .

"I know, desperately even, but you have to calm down and play fair."

Can you only answer with such tricks and false acusations ? I am not desperate , i am calm and i am playing / being fair . You are not . You keep avoiding giving honest answers , ignore questions and twisting things . Or giving answers that have no relavance to what i`m saying .

In my opinion in end effect all your "answers" so far have been extremely disshonest and arogant . It seems to some people like you are just saying "I`m the administrator and have better cards than you so i dont need to take any notice or be fair" .

To come down to your level and answer the rest of what you said is below my dignity . If thats how honest you are there is no point for me in trying to comunicate with you anymore .

 

[magickmumu]

Orgia :!: :!: :!: :!:

 

[myst1c]

:shock:

Didn't expect to find 3 pages when I logged back in!

I'll try to say as much as I can and want considering the questions I got and the on topic comments.

Let me state that I do not have a physiological problem having sex. Morning erections are present almost every day. I am not depressed. Anxiety is not really an issue for me. I used to have some fear of social situations, but I moved passed that, psychedelic experiences really helped me in that. I do feel sexually attracted to a lot of people (mostly women), but I do not feel the urge to act upon it. I do fantasize about it, sometimes. My girlfriend knows this and has it herself as well and I think I'm pretty healthy concerning that.

My girlfriend has a lot of things in common with me. I am a bit more rational-oriented, always looking for new things to learn about the world. She is more emotionally-guided, always feeling her way through situations. We talk about everything, including this subject. It is a touchy subject though. We also went to see a therapist once (next week again) to help us deal with some of the ways in which our relationship doesn't work, and he was really good, am happy we did it. Me posting this is probably the result of what has been going on since our session.

We haven't really experimented much, probably because I am (we are?) a bit afraid. I just can't see myself having sex anywhere but in the comfort of our home (yes, we live together) or somewhere we can be very private. I don't like to share my fantasies, because I am afraid of judgement or that she might want to leave me.

The feelings of guilt and shame are just prior to the sexual act. Especially when she approaches me and kind of overwhelms me with the idea of sex. I never feel guilty or ashamed or afraid when having sex.

I only feel comfortable when I initiate the process. I need to be in control. Needless to say I don't feel comfortable often.

I sometimes (maybe once a week) watch internet porn as stress relief. My girlfriend knows I do this sometimes and says she don't mind, but I still hide it.

I hate giving oral sex.

Receiving it is almost too much to bear, I'm really sensitive and I resist orgasm which makes it quite a fucked up situation.

I feel sad because of all of this.

What I meant with the cultural taboo is maybe a bit too vague. I grew up in an environment where nobody talked about sex. I found my dads Playboys and Penthouses, but always got the feeling that it was something bad from the people around me. I never talked with anybody about sex until I had my first girlfriend. I never felt comfortable discussing it with anyone besides my girlfriends until a few years ago.

I am in my late twenties.

Hope you can understand my point of view a bit more. It is a bit fragmented, but ask and maybe I'll answer.

P.S. One more thing that may be interesting. I never thought of myself as being attractive or beautiful or a sexual being. All through my teens I was pretty much the only guy in my class never to succeed with women (only one girlfriend in highschool and we didn't have sex). My current girlfriend always thought I was crazy, because she said I was the most beautiful man she had ever seen and fell for me in an instant. I have problems believing this, but everybody seems to think I am very good looking. People want me to be a model and do fashion shows every now and then, but I don't feel comfortable doing it and I don't like the whole idea about the fashion industry. My clothes are two years old on average. I don't shave, just trim my beard every month. I haven't got a haircut in over a year. I do shower. I use deodorant. I am polite but fart in public places when nobody can prove it was me. Still people think I'm gorgeous and I am beginning to notice they naturally look to me for an opinion or an idea, which makes me kind of not wanting to be responsible. I want to run away from all these silly people who judge me (although in a positive way) but don't know me.

 

[GOD]

You sound like a very nice , honest and careing person and you seem to me to be on the best way to resolvig the issues . Relax and be absolutly honest with your girlfriend , yourself and your therapist and i`m sure things will clear trhemselves up . You are very lucky to have such a cool girlfriend .

I wish you all the best .

 

[Forkbender]

^+1!

That is probably everything that you need to know. Your posts have really inspired me to do some soul searching myself. I wish I could be so honest.

 

[TheSearchForSoma]

Your post really touched me.You are so honest!
I'm sure everything will be allright !! It seems like a therapist was a really good choice for the two of you!

I Wish you the very best!

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

Well Mystic... since you are my elder I am not going to give you advice, although I know exactly what is the problem, the therapist is part of it, the porn is as well in the same way.

It's physiological in my opinion. But if I would state my opinion I would prabaly make alot of people here realise they have the same problem, which they seem ready to kill to prove it's not a problem.

:roll:

 

[druglessdouglas]

IMO the key is to demystify sex

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

IMO you don't want me to post the keys to that.

 

[Psychoid]

Yes go ahead we're curious

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

You can only speak for yourself...

 

[Psychoid]

lets stop breaking the thread. Sorry.

 

[Forkbender]

It's physiological in my opinion. But if I would state my opinion I would prabaly make alot of people here realise they have the same problem, which they seem ready to kill to prove it's not a problem.

Stop playing the victim and say what you think needs to be said. According to the little I have read from your posts you claim to be untouchable by criticism (rational arguments?) anyway.

My intuition tells me that physiology and psychology are very much intertwined, especially in sex. Mental constructs reflect in the way a persons body behaves and the other way around. There is no causal relation between the two, just processes that correlate. The Cartesian distinction between mind and body doesn't work and we need to find a holistic approach to really deal with issues like this.

myst1c already said that he doesn't have physical problems getting hard, so it might be a psychological barrier, that manifests somewhere in his body. If you know or guess something about how to solve this, please share.

 

[GOD]

One learns ones preferences and ones views of sex when one is a child . A lot of that learning is not conscious . One sees ones peers and sees how they talk about and how they react to sex and talking about sex . If ones parents dont talk about it openly one can think that its a tabu subject and one thinks that talking about it isnt good . Then when one finds / sees ones fathers pornos it starts to get complicated . It can be seen as something wrong that only takes place hidden , in secret . One sometimes thinks that that means its something bad / disgusting / to deny . One can get ones own personal guilt complex . A child bases his views on things by observing and making conclusions about what their parents say , how they say it and what the child sees they do ....... and the difference between those things .

When other people play psycho games with people with issues like that they are treading on thin ice , being very iresponsible and can cause those issues to get bigger or harder to solve . The same goes for confused egoistic false mesiahs that advise people not to get help right at the start .....before the problem becomes a concrete part of that persons charakter .

That was just a theoretical example .

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

I haven't said there wasn't something psychological, in fact quite the contrary, I said we all have those.

But the trigger is definately physiological, it rarely isn't with sex in my experience. Especially if the negative feelings are before the act, the aprehension is due to consciousness.

god you do repeat yourself alot, no wonder you have over 5000 posts.

I have principles, I'm not playing the victim, if mystic wants to hear my advice then he will kindly ask for it, I am inclined to think doing general good in this case might not be the best thing to do.

Especially after those weird threats I've just seen about god "revealing" CM's secret life and friend circle, basically calling him a liar openly ?!

 

[GOD]

My opinion .

"Especially after those weird threats I've just seen about god "revealing" CM's secret life and friend circle, basically calling him a liar openly ?!"

Trying to cause trouble again ? Again . I said nothing wierd . I didnt threaten . I didnt call him a lier . I have done nothing but reply to things he has said as honestly as i can . You know nothing about any issues between caduceus and me . I stick 100 % by what i said . I know it doesnt look good to people who dont understand it but that wasnt the point . The point in my opinion is that what he said there is deeply disshonest . If he can make statements like that , that on the face of it sound OK , but i know are manipulations i can say something . The problem is that just like in the menstruation thread where he started to attack me in a way that was out of all proportion to what i had done , and in the thread where i talked about having nothing against you , and now in the thread you quoted i cant defend myself because i dont reveal confidential sources . I get VERY angry when i am in a position like that , when i see someone manipulating things and making such disshonest shows that can only be ment to fool the members .

I also get angry when i am publicly shot down by him because he hasnt noticed ? that you keep editing the shit out of your posts so you look good and others look stupid or agressive . The first post you posted in this section was at least 4 times as long as the edited version that is now there . It was originaly very inflamatory , crass and counter productive . You have no right to inject your poison into threads where people are seeking help and thats what you did .

Do you deny it ? Yes or no .

This is sickening me . I cant have been the only one that noticed that you edited that post and others ?

Again . Thats my opinion .