i used to think i could swallow an entheogen and be magically "fixed" and on my way to enjoy the pleasures of life. thinking like that undermines the work that the individual has to do, and i have found out that i can, by thinking seriously about what i'm doing and what i should do, be in control. i don't need to trip to be stable. now you might be thinking duh but i used to think i needed it, even if only as a tool. scheduling trips was highly pleasurable activity but i'm going to stop doing it.
if i want to be alone and relax and tune in to the universe's love i can do it sober (i couldn't before, this was gained).
if i want to feel a bit psychedelic and experience waking consciousness with an added plus i can smoke some cannabis.
i just don't get all the good stuff i used to from tripping. i mean, the first experiences showed me how the mind really works and altered me in ways i can only begin to grasp. but since i thought about all this a lot afterwards i feel i digested my experiences thoroughly and i got so much done. i think'll stop for some years.
when i trip now i feel i get to this "place" i've been before but since the I that experiences gets trashed the enjoyment comes from remembering the experience because while it happens it's all so confusing. i don't feel myself (my normal me) until the day after, after getting some sleep. this confusion, i feel, takes a toll on the mind. you know it's that feeling you get, your own mind spells danger, despite we all knowing there are no physical side effects to be wary off. but you get that feeling nonetheless.
i have done several solo trips and i think i got the message. so i'll just hang up for now. (i'm thinking of the big cosmic message) and when i come up on lsd i get so sexual and horny that sometimes i think it's a waste being by myself!
social trips can be fun but there are so many issues to consider, besides an appropriate setting, a complex thing by itself, the mind of everyone is justs something you cannot accurately predict. i tried mushrooms recently and one of the guys with me, a guy i could get to know several days beforehand and who i thought would be okay, completely lost it and freaked out. i won't type the whole story here but windows were broken, people got hurt and more nasty stuff. he does not remember well, he says he felt like in a nightmare. i got very very worried about my friends and felt guilt because it was kind of my idea. now i feel i must be very cautious in planning social trips (i thought i was!). so it's not fun anymore for me.
so yeah, i'm done. for the time being. i just don't feel i get the desired remuneration after all the input that goes with it.
if i want to be alone and relax and tune in to the universe's love i can do it sober (i couldn't before, this was gained).
if i want to feel a bit psychedelic and experience waking consciousness with an added plus i can smoke some cannabis.
i just don't get all the good stuff i used to from tripping. i mean, the first experiences showed me how the mind really works and altered me in ways i can only begin to grasp. but since i thought about all this a lot afterwards i feel i digested my experiences thoroughly and i got so much done. i think'll stop for some years.
when i trip now i feel i get to this "place" i've been before but since the I that experiences gets trashed the enjoyment comes from remembering the experience because while it happens it's all so confusing. i don't feel myself (my normal me) until the day after, after getting some sleep. this confusion, i feel, takes a toll on the mind. you know it's that feeling you get, your own mind spells danger, despite we all knowing there are no physical side effects to be wary off. but you get that feeling nonetheless.
i have done several solo trips and i think i got the message. so i'll just hang up for now. (i'm thinking of the big cosmic message) and when i come up on lsd i get so sexual and horny that sometimes i think it's a waste being by myself!
social trips can be fun but there are so many issues to consider, besides an appropriate setting, a complex thing by itself, the mind of everyone is justs something you cannot accurately predict. i tried mushrooms recently and one of the guys with me, a guy i could get to know several days beforehand and who i thought would be okay, completely lost it and freaked out. i won't type the whole story here but windows were broken, people got hurt and more nasty stuff. he does not remember well, he says he felt like in a nightmare. i got very very worried about my friends and felt guilt because it was kind of my idea. now i feel i must be very cautious in planning social trips (i thought i was!). so it's not fun anymore for me.
so yeah, i'm done. for the time being. i just don't feel i get the desired remuneration after all the input that goes with it.