Episode 3 :- Those about to die salute you..................
I refused the liver byopsy , who needs it ? I`ve got one and its not causing me any problems so why should i let them rip a bit of it out ? Being a real big headed , big mouthed , egoistic dickhead i managed to get the biggest possible dose of both medicins = 6 x 200 mg Ribavirin a day + 1 x a week 180 mics of Peginterferon . Thinking that i could / might have symptoms like a light influensa and who gives a fuck ? , influensa means 3 days in bed watching TV = the same as i do every day anyway . What i had forgoten was that this would be an 11 month influensa .
It`s like beeing pregnant backwards . I woke up one morning and something had grow in me and it will take 11 months to get rid of it . I can hardly wipe my arse . My world is 4 qm and has 3 corners - the bed , the TV and the fridge . Luckily i had my 6 month Armagedon survival kit under my bed so i havent died of hunger . But i`m sick to death of having to force feed myself with liquified musli . If i try to eat solid food i can manage a few mouthfulls then i have to lie down and have a nap for an hour to regain enough strength so i can watch TV . I`ve lost 4 kilos in the last 2 weeks and the therapy lasts 48 weeks = if it goes on like this at the end of the therapy i will weigh -20 kilos..
It`s hard , i have to shit on the newspaper , wrap it up , seal it with selotape , write Happy Birthday on it and throw it off the balkony because i can`t make it to the bog . I have to put the coffee machine , next to the bed , on so i can make myself a hotwater bottle so i can get out of bed , shit on the paper and get to the front room window so i can throw it out without dying of fever . Up till now when i look outside the packages are all gone and nobody has said anything . Wich surprises me because last week on the first day of my 11 month sentance the local Holy Man came round . I was V. V . surprised as i hadnt told anyone i was ill , not wanting to have to wear sack cloth and ring a bell when i walk down the street for the rest of my life . My only theory is that he smelt rotting flesh . But anyway he came round to see if i needed some Blessed Holy Herbs , and held an "incense" ritual , filling the room with medicine and puffing smoke in all me orifices , trying to drive out the daemons . Right in the middle of the service , just as it was time for "Bundy"......... me TV beamer died !!! His Holyness said that one of the daemons must be a woman and that she had left my body and sought refuge in the TV or the beamer . We both burst out in panik and started rolling on the floor , talking in tounges and looking at eachother like a Brazilian Rugby team thats crashed in the Andes and is waiting for someone to eat to die , untill i remembered my computer has a TV card . So we carried on the ceremonys and watched "Bundy" and in the adverts we had a "Deep six" TV ceremony and threw it of the balkony . The point being that the landing point of all those gifts from heaven was the same and the TV bits are still there but the birthday presents are all gone .?????
The treatment is not quite as bad as having malaria . rhumatism , bird flu , travel sickness and being sat on by a herd of elephants all at once , but its comparable . Waking up in the middle of the night every night freezing , swimming in a bed full cold of sweat is a real drag............. and how the fuck do i dry it if i`m lying in it , all day , every day especialy when its so wet it will take at least a week to dry. Hopefully next week i can make it to the bath .
I was warned about the probability that the treatment would cause depression and that lots of patients commit suicide in the first few weeks , but at the moment i`m much , much to depressed to kill myself.
My dreams of sueing my dentist and sniffing a life of luxury around the world for a few months were the first dreams that got sacrificed . Unfortunatly it wasnt the bastard , he didnt do it , nobody knows where it came from . The only thing that they can say is that i`ve had it for longer than 10 years = i could have got it from the police playing doctors and nurses with my arse 30 years ago .......... and that it broke out when i stoped smoking grass !!!!
The first thing my doc said when he heard that i had "it" was "from now on you can`t take anything that might harm your liver ,....... but you can smoke herbs if you want". When i asked my doctor at the university hospital if she knew anything about cannabis and Hepititus she jumped on the fon and before i could stop her asked her boss if it would be allright if i smoked some hash . After a few seconds of total paranoia he said it would be OK . he then went on to tell me that there were some studys that show that cannabis has a positive effect on the chances of being cured and others that said the oposit . Both said they have nothing against me smoking medical marijuana .
Dead dream 2 , mass sex with hundreds of beautifull little Asian girls in miniskirt nurses uniforms was the next dream to die . The "nurses" now wear blue , one size fits all , uni , trousers uniforms wich look like what people in closed mental hospitals wear under their strait jackets . And thank GOD they have trousers on . If you have ever imagined the story of Frankenstein and wondered where they got all the parts to make him with , or wondered what happened to all the bodys that Drakula sucked the blood out of ...........................i now know......
Afer , you must have the constitution of a Waran or a Klingon , you did SPORT !!!!!!!! What do you weigh and how old are you ??? I`m 52 , 72 kilos and so weak that i couldnt even play pocket biliards if i wanted to .
The only good thing that has come out of it all so far is that i am now the proud owner of weapons of mass destruction = 100 x 10 ml vials of highly infectious blood , just incase the forces of evil fancy a dawn attack . The bastards will have to come in viral warfare protection suites .
Just don't let yourself being defeated or being fucked by these fuckers or this harmless disease!!! You'll be fine GOD!!! :weedman:
