a life worth living....

[sprish]

let me go in more detail..... ever time your eyes focus on a new location your in a different mind set.as an experiment, during your next meal look at your food, in detail. think about the moment. then look across the room and focus on a new item....focus on that. after that train of though look back to your food. can you refocus on the thoughts of before? yes? no? why? is it because your a different person than the first time? have you really changed since just looking across the room. now as you move you eyes away from me(this screen), will you have changed? Yes. and in time you will never remember me. maybe you will say yes. but can you even remember the happiest moments of the past few years? your whole life? distorted memories, nothing more. i wonder when im old if i make it to old age if ill remember my life, remember the thoughts that i thought where most important. Life. Mind expansion. Love. conspiracy theories(never mind them). my little understanding of the world.... this myspace post. since the only moment i have in this world is now ill just use this space to wish you all a farewell, i love you all. the next time i post it will be the new me.



QUESTION - do you believe anything that happened in your past was 'Meant to happen"? if so then EVERY SINGLE second and little trivial action was also meant to happen.... even your fingers typing this next post was orchestrated by fate....

 

[Forkbender]

The waves and the ocean are one.

 

[sprish]

The waves and the ocean are one.

as are the Human beings of earth, are under the illusion we are separate from one another...

 

[Forkbender]

and so are you under the illusion that you are separate from the you of the last post, or separate from the you you will be when you go into the wild.

 

[sprish]

and so are you under the illusion that you are separate from the you of the last post, or separate from the you you will be when you go into the wild.

EXACTLY so im creating the life my future (now) sean will enjoy, before its to late and nothing has changed.... So as you see im a totally new person since my last post, as soo as i posted those i dared myself to stand up, done, start walking, done, reach the door to outside, done, walk outside..... done, walk down to the maibox, done,stood their for a sec then.... dare to place my tongue on the metal mail box...... what do you think i did. i licked that baby just to say, YOU CAN DO IT. of course right after that terrifying lick i scraped my tongue clear and spat on the ground about 5 times..... i come inside and you posted, so i post again....now with the taste of rust in my mouth i can sit here and be the new sean, I wish you farewell for when we meet again ill be only a memory....

SO I DARE TO DARE YOURSELF! not to go lick any object, but to stand up and start walking... and dont stop till you think youve reached your destination, Even if it is walk only 3 feet. DO IT. please reply if you too, have dared yourself....

 

[Forkbender]

I made myself a sandwich. It was very good.

Still feel the same old fork, though.

 

[sprish]

I made myself a sandwich. It was very good.

Still feel the same old fork, though.

Yes you still feel the same you, but you will never be in that moment again was the point i am trying to convey. I feel my past but ill never relive my past... all we have is this moment cuz as soon as its over their is no turning back....

OH your sandwich talk and about it being good is really testing my faith the hunger is really setting in

 

[GOD]

Everything is transient ........especialy sandwiches .

 

[sprish]

random little adventure.... i just went outside to take a piss, while the urine was flowing i herd the near by ducks doing that quack that sounds like laughing, i yell "what are you laughing at!" as im saying that two deer jump from out of nowhere and run past me into the near by woods... my voice startled them...this all happens before im even done peeing.... so was that fate? was that all MEANT TO HAPPEN? well was it!??? if it happened then it must have been.... my stomach is yelling at me, time to get the juices.....

 

[Crispy_91]

Yo Sean it's Chris. I'm going to make a very long post later that I have been thinking about since I first read this yesterday. But I just have to ask...

so was that fate? was that all MEANT TO HAPPEN? well was it!??? if it happened then it must have been....

It must have been... why?
How do you come to that conclusion as opposed to another one?

Why couldn't it have been the action of your internal decision to yell that affected the deer to jump, not expecting to hear your voice? Who is the puppetmaster in control of these strings of fate?

Every single person on this planet lives a different reality. Why does one man's concept of the workings of the universe hold any more "truth" or weight than another's?

for instance...

as are the Human beings of earth, are under the illusion we are separate from one another

You're implying that there exists some kind of spiritual connection between ALL humans, right? Who are you to say that? Who am I to say you are wrong? WHO SAYS WHAT IS RIGHT?

Like I said... I'm gonna make a huge post later on. I'm exhausted at the moment... but I'm pickin up some good weed pretty soon so I'll post when after dinner when I'm high and fed.

Look, I love you bro. You may think I am not open-minded. If you really think that, whatever. You say you can't remember your past. Well, I know you remember the tree Sean. Of course neither of us can remember what we said while we were clearing out that tree for hours on end. But I remember how I felt - do you? Thats love man. Thats true friendship. Thats human bonding. Whatever you want to call it man. Just remember that there are people who care about you - take care of yourself. Not just for the sake of you - but for the sake of me. And your mom. And Scott. And murray. and travis. etc etc etc man.

Peace

 

[GOD]

Audience claps , wipes tear from their eyes and smiles .

High Crispy , your a careing being , i like that , keep it coming ....... and welcome to the forum .

 

[mysticwarrior]

Sprsh, it seems that your friends are worried. Think about it! It says a lot about you.

 

[sprish]

Yo Sean it's Chris. I'm going to make a very long post later that I have been thinking about since I first read this yesterday. But I just have to ask...

so was that fate? was that all MEANT TO HAPPEN? well was it!??? if it happened then it must have been....

It must have been... why?
How do you come to that conclusion as opposed to another one?

It must have been! the words speak for themselves. If anything has happened in the "now" then their is NO changing what happened , you can change the "new Now" but the past remains the same. so whatever is happening now Is a Fact in its self....Remember when we meet on the bus... their is No changing that! we couldn't change that day or anything that happened in it because their is no way. now im not saying that was "meant to happen" as in "event A + Event B = Event C" its not as if anything was Meant to happen, just that it DID happen so there is no changing that fact so.... Now i take full notice when you always push me away when i start rambling about Life theories, when i say 'OH woW that was Meant to happen" i should have been saying "wow That happened" no predestine Force behind that....

Why couldn't it have been the action of your internal decision to yell that affected the deer to jump, not expecting to hear your voice? Who is the puppetmaster in control of these strings of fate?

what you say here is not running though my head right... re phrase the Deer / voice part PLease, Lol iv re read it like 6 times now nothing is registering... about this puppet master behind the scenes... i believe it to be You, you are the one you have been looking for, its just a matter of waking up. You will know when you are awoken, and if you think you are awake then your still dreaming.... this contradicts with everything i just said but this is the one truth...

Every single person on this planet lives a different reality. Why does one man's concept of the workings of the universe hold any more "truth" or weight than another's?

for instance...

as are the Human beings of earth, are under the illusion we are separate from one another

You're implying that there exists some kind of spiritual connection between ALL humans, right? Who are you to say that? Who am I to say you are wrong? WHO SAYS WHAT IS RIGHT?

Its not that I know this fact(or fiction) but i Feel it. I truly Feel the world connected around me. this is not the answer to this question, but i feel the only answer to it is not found on this level of reality. (Da JA Vu MASSIVELY at this moment) When i starred down our beloved life giving sun i learned that the world isnt SOLID at all, AT ALL! its all just light. JUST LIGHT. this light theroy may not mean a damn thing to you, and even if you understand what i mean, you still havent Felt what i mean, when i saw the world as Light and nothing else...... Beyond words....

Look, I love you bro. You may think I am not open-minded. If you really think that, whatever. You say you can't remember your past. Well, I know you remember the tree Sean. Of course neither of us can remember what we said while we were clearing out that tree for hours on end. But I remember how I felt - do you? Thats love man. Thats true friendship. Thats human bonding. Whatever you want to call it man. Just remember that there are people who care about you - take care of yourself. Not just for the sake of you - but for the sake of me. And your mom. And Scott. And murray. and travis. etc etc etc man.

Peace

I love you Chris. about the Tree comment. when even the words "the tree" are said i have this mental image a first person look from the Second tier in the tree looking down i see it perfectly, even though its a one frame image.... and i remember many other things about that tree too. I feel the warm Florida summer on my back... i even remember when non of that underbrush grew there... "the tree" was a magical experience. and now i can correctly say that "it happened" i still LOL at the way we started using that shitty saw that was no way intended for tree branches... it was ironic how we swore not to use tools in the beginning and how it took hours to clear everything, then i day to we say "fuck that" and used your dads personal light weight saw. LOL then god broke it in like 3 minutes after use... The shitty thing about my goals and dream is im the only mentor and moral support i have, so when times are SHIT i only look to myself... Stay strong. and scott tells me you think your so smart now.... LOL dont get too smart while im gone...

 

[IJesusChrist]

Be careful sean. You're going to be learning alot I feel in the months to come.

 

[Crispy_91]

About the deer thing... my point was just basically why destiny? another way to look at it could be that the world was already set in motion... the deer, living in its own existence, was nearby at the same time that you decided to yell. that then startled the deer. had it been some1 else, they may have decided not to yell. sorry if that doesnt make too much sense right now i'm not really putting too much effort into clarification here i'm getting mad tired lol

btw the saw story still makes me laugh everytime LOL

and scott tells me you think your so smart now.... LOL dont get too smart while im gone...

lol its all cool man. I knew Scott has probably felt like that but whatever... what can I say. You know its not like that. I know I don't think that of myself. I have my own beliefs and my own views and I don't try to force it on him or anyone else. But I think it would be silly to say that there aren't things Scott could learn from me just like he learns so much good from you. He's extremely smart and bright... he'll learn certain things with time that not me or you could teach him. So its all good... I understand.

If you really think this would be best for you, I'd support you man. Just make sure you really understand what you are committing to. The practicality of your plan concerns me but I dont have a problem talking it through with you n shit like that. I understand that you are a very internally driver person - I am like that myself. At the end of the day your life is in your hands man.

Anyway its gettin late.. I'll post again after school tomorow. Just take care of yourself man. We'll talk about this soon... hopefully we can talk in person before you leave. When were you planning to leave? From NY or after you got back?

Peace

 

[sprish]

About the deer thing... my point was just basically why destiny? another way to look at it could be that the world was already set in motion... the deer, living in its own existence, was nearby at the same time that you decided to yell. that then startled the deer. had it been some1 else, they may have decided not to yell.

That was my whole point. It was I who went outside and decide to yell. no one else. not that is MEANT to happen, it just DID happen who know, there could have been a sneaky ninja in the shadows too. but they didnt decide to yell, only me

To tell the world something that might reveal a little more about me, in 1999 when the matrix came out... that summer i received the matrix on VHS and watched it Two times a day, for the Entire summer. i watched the Matrix over 50 times over the course of the summer, and im not exaggerating.... so i can quote the whole movie backwards if needed.... I just watched it again, it ended 2 min ago.... I can say i learned something new about myself and my way of thinking.... This time the words-----------------------------------------------

Morpheus: i imagine that right now your feeling a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole ..."
Neo:"you could say that"
Morpheus:"i can see in in your eyes you have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because hes expecting to wake up,,,,,Do you believe in fate, Neo?"
Neo: "no"
Morpheus: "Why not"
Neo:"because i dont like the idea that im not in control of my life"
Morpheus:"i know Exactly what you mean,,,,,,,,, let me tell you why you are here... You are here because you know something, what you know you cant explain, But you feel it, youve felt it your entire life, thats there's something wrong with the world, you dont know what it is, but its their. Like a Splinter in your mind. Driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me... Do you know what im talking about?"

 

[druglessdouglas]

Jeeez! that frikkin film again

 

[sprish]

Jeeez! that frikkin film again

LOL not what i expected. :roll:

 

[druglessdouglas]

sorry sprish. i like the film but... its just a film

i want to know what you are doing to prepare for your adventure. im slightly worried that you will be extremely dissapointed. no films, music, pizza, girls, internet....

its an extremely hard lifestyle. the most difficult bit is being alone. just you and your head. i cant stress enough what that means. ive been there

you wont need ethenogens

 

[IJesusChrist]

Being alone for a long time can either be the most rewarding experience, or the most dreadful feeling.

I keep saying be careful sean. I say that only because it can be bad. You're head is a little different than most, so if that is better or worse for this kind of expedition is up to your future to determine.

If you go south however, it will be happy I am extremely envious of you still. I would love to do that too, my trip would last a year, more if I ended up in brazil. But a route along south of u.s. would be short, and would learn much.

I hope your trip is wonderful, and I'll probably talk to you soon my friend