What`s happening...

[Ahuaeynjxs]

You talked often of your butterfly...

Since you seem to be aware you were programmed and experimented on but somehow snapped out of it by psychedelics, what do you think of such kind of relevance ?

http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/hambone/monarch1.html

 

[Carebear]

{the past}

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

I am also in a similar situation.

Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs,
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes,
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
-- William Shakespeare

Why did you think people would think of you insane, this makes much sense.

So they lov'd as love in twain
Had the essence but in one;
Two distinct, divisions none...
-- William Shakespeare

We are not lost, we exist to serve the earth, as engeneers, as captains, as counselors. Each is needed and immensely powerful but not over other humans.

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you acknowledge him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

- The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

As love progresses within ourself, we find the very serious question of marriage of the soul ; which is to say how to build a temple in yourself :

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"

And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Thus begins the times of unison !

Namase !

 

[Carebear]

{the past}

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

Oh man... thats a long story, I hope I'll get around to write it in a poetic way sometimes ; right now it's much spread all over this forum in a quite sketchy manner.

But to make it brief I met a woman in some improbable way on a forum called "starseed" and now you make me remember that I was banned from there too, thanks for this. I had smoked a giant joint and I was telling myself (I was heartbroken from many woman leaving me without being angry at me, they're still my friends like you might have read somewhere else) that I would never find the twin flame ; and I had been alone in the forum chatroom for like 10 minutes, dunno why but I was lost in thought ; and she popped in as I was about clicking the disconnect button.

When I least expected it, she started talking much about what was on my mind, like we were born together, literally.

I worked many years to go travel to her place, and followed love with all my might, but nothing worked, like Khalil Gibran so aptly said, love did all those things to me and I was left with no options to give her ; and I couldn't ask her to wait for me (even less to work to get to me) anymore, I just had no way out of my situation even if I project 2-3 years in my future, and she is ascending. I also loved other woman while we had time apart, and she loved other men too, so I am not blaming her in any way.

I am limited in my ascension because of the solar harm I did, thats another very complex subject.

I have intaked very fine gold colloids in hopes that it would cure my mercury poisoning that I didn't even know was mercury poisoning at the time. The mix of gold, mercury and psychedelics in extreme doses sent me back in time until I found out who I really was. Now such timetravel is restricted by solar guardians, so such a thing could not happen again.

I was happily able to expel the gold, because I didn't construct upon it being aware of the spiritual side it would do to me, I merely thought it would help my body, but it's dangerously powerful ; I almost lost all hope to ever have a soul because of it.

And about this woman, she was incredibly intuitive, moreso that I could ever imagine. I still do not see to the bottom of her heart, or can even comprehend the depth of her mind.

She would tell me many times what I had done in my dreams, which led me to know that they weren't merely dreams. (as inner space) We were both very passionate and changed the face of the universe in our actions, in this imaginary realm, like I speak of in the Sun thread.

But not only this, I could not lie to her... she would know when I felt alone and looked at another woman, instantly. She would call me and her voice completely overwhelmed me, but not in a bad way, it was true love. I know my life was worth it because I lived this.

Many things like this, which I couldn't question, because she was aware of her "powers".

During this time we have been on and off together, like Khalil also very aptly said ; our marriage is a true eternal marriage.

I have met many more indigo and crystal woman since then, some who displayed abilities far beyond my wildest dreams. Some knew how to channel daemons consciously, that is how I got to know how most of them traffick dreams and manipulate human life ; this way I could communicate with my DNA how to prevent this to anyone who opens his heart to me. In the same way I do not encourage blind trust to me, because the time-lord demons still surpass me very often in bandwidith, but since there are no fully conscious humans yet on the planet, noone is really beyond them.

Some of those young woman even could tell me parts of some texts I was studying, while they could have no idea I was reading those texts, and they were talking about the exact line I was at, well the demons they were chanelling talked about those very anscient texts as I was studying them. And there was many of those woman I met, alot even I would say. For some it wass demons, but others were just plainly doing it.

Just an anecdote I chatted with one of those woman last night which I love very much, and she was happy to see me, we were on webcam and she always is awesome so I never get surprised. She told me ; so how are you doing you french monk ? And seconds later I took a sip of Chartreuse, a liquor made by the french monks in the alps. Without looking surprised I told her : you're more psychic than you think while not being serious and explained, and she laughed and did not really reply.

I just think it's funny, I don't take it very seriously but such things happen to me many times daily, even with myself, synchronicity alright :lol:

Incredible stuff. And that is how I learned that beleifs are dead truths and that science is only opening the door of the true universe.

If I beleived or unbeleived anything that happens, I would die.

 

[Carebear]

{the past}

 

[mysticwarrior]

We are already in heaven\hell, most just dont realize it yet, we the people hold the balance at all times.

"Legally I Zen" 8)

I believe your right, only the most people are unable to see the duality

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

Oh yes I am stuck... with my own feelings.

If a woman came to me following love, that would show up immediately, my breathing would become irregular and I would have a hard time accepting that I can still be worth anything to anyone.

Because I have cried all my tears... Love is done with me and I am married. Yet in a kind of miracle, the amanita lives in me and it can still feel very powerful love ; so I still have a long process of letting it happen while remaining in my honor.

This reminds me of one of the virtues :

Valor is the courage to take actions in support of one's convictions. Like one good sir from the earth realm put it so well : "It is a brave act of valour to condemn death; but where life is more terrible than death, it is then the truest valour to dare to live." So we logically should explain what a conviction is : it is a subjective perception, feeling, or suspicion regarding the validity of a concept or hypothesis. So you can well see how valor is dynamic in our context, our conviction might be a bad feeling about how those people who still expose themselves to the fallen "world" and conceptualise the world they live in, and our violent challenging of their concept by having the courage to act is virtuous. It is interesting to notice how differently it would be ruled in the earth realm, where valor could have nothing to do with violent actions.