removed.. sorry for the inconvenience.

[foureyes]

removed.. sorry for the inconvenience.

 

[robhR]

Sucks you got her pregnant.

...Sorry.

Really, sorry. I couldn't help but put that one out there, since in my soon to be perceived as jackass opinion, if you have to hide any important aspect of yourself from your partner you're probably in the wrong relationship.

I don't have any personal experience with a problem like this, but I have been watching a friend of mine suffer from this exact problem for the past two years.

If I were you I'd be trying to change her mind on this. Having a psychedelic experience with your significant other is magic.

...

So I hear.

 

[foureyes]

Sucks you got her pregnant.

...Sorry.

Really, sorry. I couldn't help but put that one out there, since in my soon to be perceived as jackass opinion, if you have to hide any important aspect of yourself from your partner you're probably in the wrong relationship.

hehe, don't be sorry, I did ask your thoughts after all. I'm not here looking for people to absolve me of my perceived guilt and say everything is okay, I'm looking for conversation. If you guys think I'm doomed, tell me!

While this is a topic that's on my mind, I don't currently perceive it to be a serious problem or roadblock that needs solving (for me at least). I'm more interested in how other people are dealing with it, because I think this is probably not an uncommon scenario. Especially if you extend beyond significant others and into other relationships such as children, parents, co-workers.

I feel I can have a valuable relationship with someone without revealing every aspect of my self to them. Everyone is going to define what qualifies as a good/rewarding relationship a little differently.

I don't feel I have to confess all the bad things I did when I was a kid to my father to have a good relationship with him. I don't think telling him about my psychedelic experiences would improve our relationship. My not telling him does not devalue the bond we've formed and the respect/love we hold for one another.

The things I take from my trips work their way into my thoughts and eventually my actions. The outcome of these experiences do end up in my relationships and effect how I deal with people, those people just may not be privy to the source.

Eager to hear more.

 

[Meduzz]

Personally, I think that what you are doing is not dangerous in itself, but the fact that your wife and kid don't know anything and percieve it as dangerous makes your situation dangerous. Tripping in a house with people that shouldn't know your tripping can lead to certain situations.
You should tell your wife or at least trip with a sitter :wink:

 

[toogoodforyou]

If I were you I'd be trying to change her mind on this. Having a psychedelic experience with your significant other is magic.

I agree with this. Its a really special experience where you both can grow together.

Anyway...... Hey foureyes welcome to the forum. I don't hide my psychonaut activities from my fiance as we both are psychoanuts. In my other relations it depends how open minded is the other person. A few of my friends are open minded so they know of it. My sisters have an idea. My parents have no idea about it, and it will stay that way as they won't really understand usage of these substances and will just term it as 'drug abuse'

In the future when i start working i'll make sure that people i meet in my professional life remain in the dark about a few of my 'hobbies'. But yeah, psychedelics have improved my ability to think out of the box and whatever i learn from them i will try to apply in my regular life.

Cheers

 

[Forkbender]

Break the taboo.
Talk about what you learned.

 

[GOD]

"You should tell your wife"

Yes . I think a relationship should be based on trust so i think its better not to lead a double life but rather talk to her . You dont have to convince her to have your opinion but hiding things in a relationship is dangerous . If i found out my "partner" had tricked me i would drop them without a word and without looking back .

 

[foureyes]

I don't hide my psychonaut activities from my fiance as we both are psychoanuts. In my other relations it depends how open minded is the other person. A few of my friends are open minded so they know of it. My sisters have an idea. My parents have no idea about it, and it will stay that way as they won't really understand usage of these substances and will just term it as 'drug abuse'

In the future when i start working i'll make sure that people i meet in my professional life remain in the dark about a few of my 'hobbies'. But yeah, psychedelics have improved my ability to think out of the box and whatever i learn from them i will try to apply in my regular life.

Cheers

Thanks for your input toogoodforyou, I'm glad you're able to share your experiences with your partner. And I totally relate to your comments about parents and co-workers.

I'm really interested in seeing how this plays out for other people. I'm especially interested to hear if there are people out there that are totally open about their experiences in all aspects of their life.

I mean we all talk about public figures like McKenna, Leary etc who are very outspoken/open about their activities and experiences, these guys don't seem to be holding anything back and don't have any fear of how society/culture views their activities. They don't have to worry about what they say around their boss or colleagues because their work is actually in the field. Is this something that can only happen if you're a researcher/author or an ethno-botanist?

Look at the girl from Neurosoup who's put her face all over the internet talking about Shamanic Colonic's and other psychedelic experiences. I'd be interested in what she does for a living and how she balances her public expression of drug use with being integrated into a society that isn't generally accepting of these things.

Also, thanks everyone for the advice on opening up with my partner. It's something I'll think on. I was fully expecting these responses given the audience, but that's not really the point, this thread isn't about my situation. I'm more interested in seeing the full spectrum of how people deal with this taboo, from people like me that are more secretive to people like McKenna and Nerosoup girl who are fully open about their activities.

Keep it rolling!

 

[GOD]

You dont have to tell everyone everything but hiding things from a partner is not good . Leary wsas honest about what he did but he didnt tell us all everything . Being totally open about our experiences in all aspects of our life would be dumb .

"Look at the girl from Neurosoup who's put her face all over the internet talking about Shamanic Colonic's"

Shes nuts . An atention seeker . And she got used by her "friends" .

 

[foureyes]

"Look at the girl from Neurosoup who's put her face all over the internet talking about Shamanic Colonic's"

Shes nuts . An atention seeker . And she got used by her "friends" .

I agree with you, these aren't experiences I'd be attaching my face/name to in a public setting. But obviously she's alright with putting this stuff out there (as with McKenna, Leary, Rogan, etc), so everybody draws the line in a different place.

So far based on the responses I'm reading here, people feel that a significant other should be privy to this type of information (or at least in the situation I described). On the other hand, I haven't perceived any resistance to keeping these activities secret from parents/children/co-workers.

 

[GOD]

Keeping things secret and not telling people are two diferent things . The one is an active doing and the other is a not doing .

 

[foureyes]

Keeping things secret and not telling people are two diferent things . The one is an active doing and the other is a not doing .

Can we use an example so I can better understand the distinction? I understand the active/passive aspects, but isn't the end effect the same?

Applied to my scenario I don't see the difference. I keep it a secret by not telling her, and by my not telling her, I've kept it a secret. I'm not refuting what you're saying, just having a hard time understanding, maybe because I'm applying it to the wrong situation, or I'm not considering other variables you are.

Regardless, to provide clarity, perhaps what I should have said there was...
"So far based on the responses I'm reading here, people feel that a significant other should be privy to this type of information (or at least in the situation I described). On the other hand, I haven't perceived any resistance to parents/children/co-workers not being made privy."

lol, or..
"So far based on the responses I'm reading here, people feel that this type of information should not be kept a secret from their significant other (or at least in the situation I described). On the other hand, I haven't perceived any resistance to keeping these activities secret from parents/children/co-workers."

 

[GOD]

I shall think about it and coment later / tomorow / later when i get what i want to say a bit clearer / find away to say it without preaching or going ape shit .

 

[Forkbender]

Everyone you trust should know.

If you don't show one side of yourself to someone else that you want to know and trust, it is hard to feel free.

Some of my co-workers know. My boss probably doesn't. All my friends know. I have a hard time telling my mom, she is a bit overprotective. I'm working on it, though. My girlfriend trips along/sits/leaves the house when I want to trip alone. I understand why it would be hard for you to tell your wife, but unless you think that you guys share a special relationship, I think it is for the better if you tell her. Rid yourself of the guilt and fear of judgment and just say it. You aren't going to destroy whatever you guys have if she trusts you to do the right thing and be a responsible user. Tell her why you use psychedelics. Tell her what you learn/what it brings you/the spiritual side of it. Something used in secret can never bring you what you need (=why prohibition stimulates abuse instead of use).

 

[grassisgreener]

I try not to keep my psychedelic use a guarded secret, becuase that only promotes the idea that these are "bad" things. instead, i try provide people with information about these magical substances so that if they choose to experiment, they are already one step closer.

Regarding individuals, my girlfriend doesn't partake in any mind altering substance and she is slowly coming around to realize that psychedelics aren't harmful things. I look forward to the day when i can trip with her.

most of my friends experiment with psychoactives

my parents are the difficult ones however, they have the ignorant view of the "drug abuse" nonsense. but i try to patiently explain to them the benefits, and also the ((very)few) detriments to psychedelic use

 

[mountain-girl]

i think you should tell your wife, for sure, secrecy is no good. but i also think that you should by no means pressure her to do anything like that, she seems to not be intereted in external motives of psychoative exploration but maybe she has her own. if you talk to her about it and she seems open then maybe ask if shed like to join you, if she says no, shrug it off and enjoy your trips in the dome. when you married her i assume you did it beucase you love her and she loves you, so something like this shouldnt compromise that, if not, then just put up with it until the child is older-not great advice but thats my two cents. good luck brother! peace and love

 

[scamie]

My girlfriend never took anything... wasnt planning to do so.
I have been always open towards her for my interest in psychedelics... The only thing is... they never really.. know.. if they havent taken it themselfs.. I never pushed my girlfriend to do it.. i even gave up hope she would ever do it.... But me telling al the beatiful stories and how serious i handle the psychedelics.... after 3 years she suprised me .... GIVE ME SOME 2c-b ...
Even that is not a verry deep psychedelic, it was enough to make her fight the experiece and letting go... it made her complain that she is uncomfertable and feeling sich... that this are the reasons she never wanted to try it.... but after the sick-fase came the beaty and it blew her away.... she never knew.... I almost cried of alll the insights she got... and that we could talk about the psychedelic realm...... Afterwards... in 1 session... our relationship deepend so much..... i could talk about psychedellic realm and all the theories/ ideas.... and SHE can too now!!!

So patients and being open is the key...
Dont expect anything.
expectation seems to forve things...
good luck

 

[GOD]

Its not a mater of getting her to take any or to aprove of what you do . A relationship is built on trust and leading a double life kills relationships . A partner is a partner and should know that you do what you do . Kids shouldnt untill they are old enough to understand . With other people you have to judge your safety and not tell people to much or tell people who could cause trouble . Its a need to know basis .

I used to deal , my girlfriends new because i always had good drugs and money . I told them i could get what i wanted and told them i couldnt tell them any more . So they never saw me deal , met my customers or dealers and never new about apointments . If they had known any of that i would have been killed . So i wasnt decieving them but at the same time i wasnt betraying myself or others .

What mountain-girl said was good and gives a view of the way women think / wouild feel .

 

[magickmumu]

I'm not going to tell you what to do. Instead I am going to tell you about my own
experience.


My girlfriend is a regular cannabis smoker, and sometimes (at party's) she drinks a little.
This summer we took mushrooms together for the first time.
We had a good strong trip. My gf had a hard time letting go.
When the peak was over she started to relax.
We got in a very happy, mood and started to laugh.
she told me that she will never do mushrooms again.

(damn now I need to eat all my mushrooms myself :tonqe: )

My girlfriend never trips but she doesn't mind if I do. My gf knows I take my responsibility.
She knows I won't go jumping out a window. (And even if I do, it's ground level)

 

[mountain-girl]

haha sorry im imagining someone tripping on mush jumping out of a one story window :lol: