Help with setting for LSD.

[Roeligan]

There's one more thing I would like to say to you before I wish you all the luck with your experiences and that is that it worried me to hear this:

My dads dad had the exact same problem. He was an alcoholic and violent. My dad and he even ended up in a knife fight. I was to young at the time to remember it though, my mom told me about it last year. My dads dads dad was also an alcoholic, he killed himself by jumping of a cliff, he took 2 of he's sons with him when he jumped(not my dads dad though, he had 6 sons). So my dads side of the family is full with tragedy.

My worry here is that this sounds like a predisposition to schizophrenia or an other mental illness. Be sure that you see the youth treatment centre first, because one point that should be made is that IF psychedelics can be dangerous it is for people with a family history of mental illnesses.
I wish you all the luck and hope you will have a great time on the E and find a job soon so you can get away from your fathers mess.
Love, Roel

 

[spice]

I would always say that it is better to recieve insight and solutions to your problems without ANY psychedelics, yes.

Sometimes, due to emotional issues, that is impossible.

I understand what everyone is saying about going easy on the E, and for you, Amaranth, I'd agree. But this advice applies equally to LSD as well.

LSD is notoriously hard tp control for an inexperienced user, and may not actually be the best choice for you, in this situation....the reason why is that LSD is amplified to a MUCH greater extent by set ( you ) and setting
( environment) .....

LSD can go from awesome to terrifying f-a-s-t

MDMA, in therapeutic doses, ( = low) can open you up, and let you express your feelings to someone else with great clarity.
Sometimes talking to someone else can help immensely, just the act of talking to an interested party. This is the entire basis of counseling and professional therapy...

 

[Amaranth]

Been a couple of days since I last posted now, but a lot of things have happend.

I read some articles on the 'zen mind' and various ways of just aligning your mind with you want things to be and making it a reality, mainly not seeing yourself as a victim.

Since my first post here my life really has had a turn around, I know its like, a week ago? I don't know, it feels like months.

Like I said earlier I was gonna book an appointment at the local youth treatment center, wich I did. And I got an appointment last tuesday. And I got to say it was quite a letdown. I sat for I was there 5 minutes before I had my appointment and then waited 25 minutes. Then finally they called me out and I got to go to a seperate room. She asked who I was and then told me that all their psycologists were sick. She didn't even book me a new appointment she just said that you'll probably hear from us.

Good thing is that the psycologists who should have talked to me called me later that day from her home phone making an apology to me that she wasn't there and that she had been unable to contact me regarding my appointment. She also booked me in for this friday so I'll be going then instead.

Yesterday(that is, tuesday) I did what I talked about in my last post, I stood up against my dad, and like I predicted, he did go nuts. I figured it was time to put my wellbeing before his though, so I just said to hell with it I'm done with this. Due to being at the youth center and buying a christmas present for my mom, I didn't work at all that day on the porch. We only get around 4 hours of daylight here right now so theres only a small window of time that I can work out there. When I got home my dad wasn't home. He arrived 5 minutes later and walked into the living room where he promptly called me asking where I was, I told him I was at home(He didn't check my room and just assumed I wasn't home). So then he asked why I hadn't worked on the porch today, I told him that I had some errands to do downtown. Then he just flipped. He was at the other side of the house, and I could hear him yell at me clearer than on the actuall phone. After maybe a minute of yelling he throws the cell phone into the wall or something, I just heard the bang. And then he came running towards my room.

First thing he says is that I should go out and start working right away. "You need to finish this today". Theres probably a good 10 hours before the porch is finished so I just said "Thats not possible". Then he started screaming a bunch of stuff and told me to shut up as soon as I tried to say anything. He closed the door so hard that some of my books fell over in the bookcase. About 10 seconds later he smashes to door open again breaking my mirror(the door opens up towards it) and starts screaming pretty much the same stuff again, he says "I don't want your lazy fucking ass in this house anymore" to be exact. I said "if that is what you want that is what you'll get". I don't think he realised what I said or that I ment it. Either ways as soon as he left I went outside.

By now I was pretty much desolving, crying like never before. I tried to call the psychiatrist(she told me that I could call her in a case like this). She didn't answer though. I cried outside for about 30 minutes before going to my sisters house. I told her what happaned and to make a long story short, I'll now live at my moms till tomarrow. Cause dad is going to the states then so I can live in the house till he gets back. I hope that I can get some sort of crysis appartment or something cause otherwise I'm pretty much screwed. Theres no way I'm living at my dads. And living at my moms or sister for a longer period of time will be very difficult seeing as they both have small appartments, boyfreinds and only 1 double bed.

I'm still really really looking forward to friday and meeting this girl. I don't know if its cause of the fact that I'm meeting this girl or what it is but I'm really starting to like her more and more. I just hope things don't turn up bad.

As for you guys worrying about me having a bad LSD trip, I wont have one till after new years anyway. The dude who was going to send them got delayed and I wont be recieving them till next week, and then I'm going sledding with my sister for 4 days in the woods(she got 5 alaskan malamutes, google it if you don't know what malamutes are) . Gonna sleep outside and everything(yeah, in -10celcius). So that'll be some good time to think about things. So I'll have plenty of time to get into the right mindset and prepare myself.

Just wanted to keep you guys updated and let of some pressure as usuall. And thanks for all the posts again .

 

[skrudge]

first of all, my compliments for taking such serious steps in such a short time.
I'm really glad you got out of that house and went to your mom's. Dad has some time to be alone now, and if he doesn't fuck himself up too much, he has some time to think about things.
I really hope that there is an apartment available for you as soon as possible.

And even if it's really cold, i'm jealous of you sleighing with those beautiful dogs! Have fun, and all the best!

 

[mind.wide.open]

Hello! I love your post your replies, and I love you. You have opened yourself, your core, and shown your love, and I cannot help but feel a deep love towards you and your situation.

I think that it is very important to understand your personality and to embrace it, because it's a rarity and is SORELY needed in this world. You are a sensitive person with strong, genuine emotions. People affect you and I would imagine since they have such an effect on you that you take everyone else into account as well. You are probably quite observant and even take others considerations before your own. As I said, I believe that you are a rarity. A true gem. Much appreciation and love to you for your contributions to us all.

I think it's very good that you can talk about crying in an honest and true way. You cannot keep it building inside of you. If you did I am sure that you would be a very angry person, but hearing your reply and responses to your Dad, you apparently stay calm and keep your logic. This is the thing I believe: if you are a slave in this life, you will be granted eternal happiness in the next. While you must establish a life apart from your Father's, you are being considerate, even when it's hardest, doing what you feel is healthiest for everyone, as it's not only about you, it's about much more: your Father, Mother, sister, rest of the family, and all that might entail. And it sounds like a very sticky situation, as i'm sure the last thing that you would want is for your Father, regardless of his screw-ups, to end his life and not allow himself the hopeful coming of revival. Your pain and suffering is not wasted! You have done well Please smile, cry, because it's true man. You have taken the unfair scrutiny of his ill mind upon yourself, and though he must eventually take the faults of himself as they are, his own, this apparently isn't to be yet. It will, I hope, but I guess not yet.

Now, you have done what you can thus far and it sounds like you know what the future requires: him living apart from you and your sister and dealing with his screw-ups on his own two feet, instead of jumping on your shoulders and requiring you the heavy burden of an extra mind and body. You are a loving soul, and it is not for nothing.

I hope that your journey continues, and the ending of one's own life is the worst tragedy one could ever bestow on themselves, so get the thought away from you, banish it, as it is not an option. You are a gem, a rarity, and I would cry deeply at your loss from us and this life. Please, I love you, as do the others who have replied, and please do not leave us. We need you!! We need you so much man!

I look forward to hearing from you, and much love man, much LOVE!

As goes the amazingly beautiful quote of Space-is-the-Place:

You are loved.
All is well.

 

[mind.wide.open]

Hello! I love your post your replies, and I love you. You have opened yourself, your core, and shown your love, and I cannot help but feel a deep love towards you and your situation.

I think that it is very important to understand your personality and to embrace it, because it's a rarity and is SORELY needed in this world. You are a sensitive person with strong, genuine emotions. People affect you and I would imagine since they have such an effect on you that you take everyone else into account as well. You are probably quite observant and even take others considerations before your own. As I said, I believe that you are a rarity. A true gem. Much appreciation and love to you for your contributions to us all.

I think it's very good that you can talk about crying in an honest and true way. You cannot keep it building inside of you. If you did I am sure that you would be a very angry person, but hearing your reply and responses to your Dad, you apparently stay calm and keep your logic. This is the thing I believe: if you are a slave in this life, you will be granted eternal happiness in the next. While you must establish a life apart from your Father's, you are being considerate, even when it's hardest, doing what you feel is healthiest for everyone, as it's not only about you, it's about much more: your Father, Mother, sister, rest of the family, and all that might entail. And it sounds like a very sticky situation, as i'm sure the last thing that you would want is for your Father, regardless of his screw-ups, to end his life and not allow himself the hopeful coming of revival. Your pain and suffering is not wasted! You have done well Please smile, cry, because it's true man. You have taken the unfair scrutiny of his ill mind upon yourself, and though he must eventually take the faults of himself as they are, his own, this apparently isn't to be yet. It will, I hope, but I guess not yet.

Now, you have done what you can thus far and it sounds like you know what the future requires: him living apart from you and your sister and dealing with his screw-ups on his own two feet, instead of jumping on your shoulders and requiring you the heavy burden of an extra mind and body. You are a loving soul, and it is not for nothing.

I hope that your journey continues, and the ending of one's own life is the worst tragedy one could ever bestow on themselves, so get the thought away from you, banish it, as it is not an option. You are a gem, a rarity, and I would cry deeply at your loss from us and this life. Please, I love you, as do the others who have replied, and please do not leave us. We need you!! We need you so much man!

I look forward to hearing from you, and much love man, much LOVE!

As goes the amazingly beautiful quote of Space-is-the-Place:

You are loved.
All is well.

 

[Thinker]

Have an Iboga experience, do some research and you'll find out why.

 

[????????]

Have an Iboga experience, do some research and you'll find out why.

...why what??