Farting

[GOD]

What was your most spectacular , interesting , longest , most musical , smelly , EMBARESING fart ? What are your fondest farting memorys ? Have you any interesting farting facts ? Do you enjoy farting ? Do you enjoy droping bombs and changing position so others get blamed ? Did you ever get beamed by a fart ? And was it yours or someone elses ?

 

[Meduzz]

Is this a parody to the faSting thread :?:

 

[GOD]

OH ! SHIT !! I got caught , again . Yes , you got me . But its interesting in itself isnt it ?

Where is your farting info ? And dont say you are so holy that your arse has healed uip !!!!

 

[Meduzz]

I am so holy that my arse is so big my farts make no sound...

And they smell like flowers. People love my farts

 

[GOD]

Mom made beans for dinner
you know i ate em all
said come get your coat on
goin to the mall gona visit santa
and sit apon his knee
but all that I could think about
was how not to cut the cheese
waiting there for santa
thought that id explode
the gas bubble grew bigger
with every ho ho ho
try my best to hide that I was doing swell
but when Isat down on santas lap he hollard whats that smell !

~chorus~
I farted on santas lap
now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on santas lap
now ill get &*&*&*& under my Christmas tree

I asked him for a baseball
I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates
but I'll get none of that
I asked him for a lot of things
I'll have to do with out
when i sat down on santas lap
I let one slip out
~chorus~
On Christmas eve I snuck out
of my bed with out a sound
went down to the living room to take a look around
and then I saw santa next to the Christmas tree
his arms were full of preasents and they were all for me
put them in a pile got up to turn around
then blew a fart with such great force our tree all most
so I'll always charish that speacial moment when
I realized even old saint nick rips one now and then
~chorus~

 

[????????]

I farted while reading your fart poetry.

 

[druglessdouglas]

i thaught i was farting while reading gods poetry, but it wasnt a fart so this should be in a different thread

 

[????????]

The crapping thread?

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

Is this a parody to the faSting thread

My most intense farts occured about 5 days into my vegetable juice fast. You've never smelled a nasty fart until you've experienced one of those.

 

[GOD]

Did you have an ego death ????

 

[druglessdouglas]

Is this a parody to the faSting thread

My most intense farts occured about 5 days into my vegetable juice fast. You've never smelled a nasty fart until you've experienced one of those.

grow your own jenkem. at least its organic

 

[Stighar]

My best fart was a time me and my girlfriend were lying in bed, and she was talking about loving the smell of your own farts, everybody must secretly like the smell of their own farts. "Don't you?" she asked me, and I answered with a glanzing "yes" while lifting up the sheets, releasing a soury, shitty smell..

That was one of my best farts ever

 

[BrainEater]

hehe Stighar!! thats the gentleman!

but i guess your girlfriend is right! or she should be right, because i think that you DO smell the smells produced by your own body, but maybe most of the times you don't smell it consciously?? so maybe you should love your farts unconsciously or you will be unhappy ???

actually farting is just one of the steps of converting food into energy and letting the remains out in the air... so if you didn't like the smell of your farts you didn't like the way your body makes energy out of food or your body doesn't like the food you ate or you just weren't totally satisified with the efficiency of your body producing energy out of food ???

unfortunately i haven't trained my memory of farts so i can't remember memories that are worth remembering connected with farting, but i remember having some real crazy ass farts.

peacee

 

[GOD]

I farted , I farted ,
I droped a trouser cough ,
i droped one in my Y-fronts ,
i just let one off..........

 

[GOD]

Queen Victoria had a scotish major in a kilt hanging around her so that every time she farted , she looked at him , and he steped forward and said "excuse me madame i`ve farted" loudly .

 

[Forkbender]

I was drowsing over the Atlantic on a flight to New York once, the plane was *packed*. I remember kind of sleeping/kind of waking. And then it slipped. I just plain out farted. It woke me up! So I opened my eyes and closed them instantly, to pretend I was asleep.

That was the most memorable fart for me.

 

[druglessdouglas]

that was probably tyhe most remarkable fart for 2oo people, and 8 crew

 

[GOD]

Well its a good job it wasnt a flight on an Israeli or American airline or you would either have been shot by air marshals or put in Guantanamo . Are you still allowed to fly ? Inside the plane ?

Well at least we now have the first two candidates , Fork and Caduceus , for "The psychonuts anal orchestra" . Can you both find out at what musical note you fart at ? Then we need a few more and you can do the film music from 2001 in the park for the tourists .

 

[Psychoid]

omg GOD your craziness keeps impressing me everytime I read your posts

Don't know why, but last week I kept farting all the time... at least they didn't stink

 

[????????]

I once while drinking coke farted and burped at the same time and very loudly, and I was in underwear in my kitchen while drinking from the bottle. This made me crack up and coke came out of my nose :?