maryjaneHAC
Neurotransmetteur
- Inscrit
- 20/10/16
- Messages
- 42
Hey Guys,
Thanks again for hearing me out. Ive been using this forum and the large knowledge base of this forum for years now and now is when I need help with a personal problem I am going through myself. Any advice or encouragement is more than welcome.
Anyways, to sum up what happened: I was at a Halloween festival (bad idea) and took shrooms with a friend. About 2 or 3 grams each. This was my third time doing shrooms and I had always had a pleasant experience. Anyways, I took it while I was at a concert I saw a girl that looked like her vains were on her face, it freaked me out, I tried to sit down as I got dizzy but I fainted. Then the bad trip ensued. It was like an intense depression and bad trips, and what tripped me out the most was thinking I had permanent brain damage of some sort. Anyways, I smoked weed to try to come down (bad idea) and eventually did.
For the first couple weeks after, I had the most intense anxiety ever. I lost weight from not even wanting to eat. I started running and excercising and that helped. After about 3 weeks it started to come down, and get lower and lower but I still have anxiety. I had never had anxiety before my trip.
Fast forward to today, which is about a year later. I still have the anxiety but ive began meditation about a month ago every day and its really helped reduce and sometimes eliminate the anxiety. Something I am really grateful for. However, I think I am tripping myself out lol .
I feel like I think there is still something wrong with me and so I constantly overanalyze my thoughts and its hard for me to just focus on doing something because I always have a thought in the back of my mind judging to see if its a wrong though, or if its a damaged though etc. And I know I am tripping myself out but I cant seem to just accept that nothing is wrong with me. Perhaps I forgot what it feels like to be in bliss or to be neutral but Its like I always have to dedicate some attention to analyzing myself.
When i smoke pot, I cant just be relaxed and in the moment. I have to constantly analyze if im having bad thoughts, or good thoughts, and blah blah and I just cant enjoy the music.
From when I had the bad trip to now, things have gotten 100x better and continue to get better but if anyone knows what is wrong, or what I can do to stop this loop, or tripping myself out that would be great. I go to the gym everyday and I consider myself very motivated.
Also, I feel like I am way too sensitive, like if I watch the Matrix is freaks me the fu&k out, or if i listen to a weird song. Its like it brings back bad feelings or paranoias.
Has anyone experienced something like this and how are you feeling now?
Thank you guys for any and all advice.
-H
Thanks again for hearing me out. Ive been using this forum and the large knowledge base of this forum for years now and now is when I need help with a personal problem I am going through myself. Any advice or encouragement is more than welcome.
Anyways, to sum up what happened: I was at a Halloween festival (bad idea) and took shrooms with a friend. About 2 or 3 grams each. This was my third time doing shrooms and I had always had a pleasant experience. Anyways, I took it while I was at a concert I saw a girl that looked like her vains were on her face, it freaked me out, I tried to sit down as I got dizzy but I fainted. Then the bad trip ensued. It was like an intense depression and bad trips, and what tripped me out the most was thinking I had permanent brain damage of some sort. Anyways, I smoked weed to try to come down (bad idea) and eventually did.
For the first couple weeks after, I had the most intense anxiety ever. I lost weight from not even wanting to eat. I started running and excercising and that helped. After about 3 weeks it started to come down, and get lower and lower but I still have anxiety. I had never had anxiety before my trip.
Fast forward to today, which is about a year later. I still have the anxiety but ive began meditation about a month ago every day and its really helped reduce and sometimes eliminate the anxiety. Something I am really grateful for. However, I think I am tripping myself out lol .
I feel like I think there is still something wrong with me and so I constantly overanalyze my thoughts and its hard for me to just focus on doing something because I always have a thought in the back of my mind judging to see if its a wrong though, or if its a damaged though etc. And I know I am tripping myself out but I cant seem to just accept that nothing is wrong with me. Perhaps I forgot what it feels like to be in bliss or to be neutral but Its like I always have to dedicate some attention to analyzing myself.
When i smoke pot, I cant just be relaxed and in the moment. I have to constantly analyze if im having bad thoughts, or good thoughts, and blah blah and I just cant enjoy the music.
From when I had the bad trip to now, things have gotten 100x better and continue to get better but if anyone knows what is wrong, or what I can do to stop this loop, or tripping myself out that would be great. I go to the gym everyday and I consider myself very motivated.
Also, I feel like I am way too sensitive, like if I watch the Matrix is freaks me the fu&k out, or if i listen to a weird song. Its like it brings back bad feelings or paranoias.
Has anyone experienced something like this and how are you feeling now?
Thank you guys for any and all advice.
-H
