restin a dit:
Can you somehow...describe the *difference* you feel? I am just very curious.
Hmm, i shall give it a try. But it is the same thing, as explaining to others, how it feels to have a psychedelic experience
There are various symptoms, but for me the hardest part is to direct my thoughts. To me it feels as if i am driving a car, but somehow i am not the one who decides which direction i am going. In other words, today i can decide what i am going to do tomorrow, but when i wake up i just can't realize the things that i have planned to do, even if it are things that i like and really would enjoy to do. Because i just can't feel the motivation i should need to do that what i want/must do.
Then there is the chaos in my head. I just can't categorize/organise my thoughts, and think about multiple things at the same time. It's also hard to direct my focus. For example if i am cooking, i can't handle more then one cooking pan. It's like the time is going a way to fast to handle more then multiple things at the same time.
Then there are also this moments that i just can't sit still when i need to sit still. It's so damn frustrating. If i experience something like this, then it doesn't matter where i am or how important it is, i will just leave for having a walk, even if it means that it does cause trouble. If they would just give me the time to walk around for a couple of minutes, only then i would be able to sit still for a while.
I really forget everything you can imagine and constantly need to write things down, which of course i also forget. I can't for example, having a list in my mind, with the things i should do that day at home. Because when i have finished the second job, i have already have forgotten what the other things are.
Then there are the moments that i am overloaded with to many thoughts/idea's, and become frustrated/irritated and are very itchy. Which also causes small moments of depression, because i just don't know what the think/do or feel. But this doesn't happen as often then i experienced 10 years ago.
I need to spend LOTS of time at my own. I just can't spend the whole day with the same person.
Well i could go on endlessly, but it is something that i think you must experience it to fully understand. But unless adhd is a fraud, it does exist and causes LOTS of problems in our society. Especially because the people who are living with the adhd symptoms are increasingly growing.
But its just impossible to live life in the same way as others seem to do.