Psyolopher
Holofractale de l'hypervérité
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- 15/7/08
- Messages
- 1 632
I just found this on Facebook! :lol:
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own
chicken-nature.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our
side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it
is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically
dispositioned to cross roads.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the
road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Emerson: The chicken didn't cross the road; it transcended
it.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents
the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man
in order to trample him and keep him down.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road
the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey
stuff in its pancreas.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural
gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought
such occurrences into being.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip
the Establishment would let it take.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads
in peace.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with
admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them
has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue?
In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said
unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And
the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Agent Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own
eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you
believe it?
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the
Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Plato: For the greater good.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and
be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the
road.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean,
why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was
this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?
Where do they get these chickens?"
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed, I've not been told!
The Sphinx: You tell me.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Thoreau: To live deliberatelyand suck all the marrow
out of life.
Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and
I'll find out.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly
exaggerated.
Voltaire: I may not agree with what the chicken did,
but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing"
was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road",
and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization
of this potential occurrence.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other
side.
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own
chicken-nature.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our
side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it
is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically
dispositioned to cross roads.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the
road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Emerson: The chicken didn't cross the road; it transcended
it.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents
the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man
in order to trample him and keep him down.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road
the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey
stuff in its pancreas.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural
gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought
such occurrences into being.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip
the Establishment would let it take.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads
in peace.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with
admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them
has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue?
In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said
unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And
the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Agent Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own
eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you
believe it?
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the
Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Plato: For the greater good.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and
be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the
road.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean,
why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was
this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?
Where do they get these chickens?"
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed, I've not been told!
The Sphinx: You tell me.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Thoreau: To live deliberatelyand suck all the marrow
out of life.
Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and
I'll find out.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly
exaggerated.
Voltaire: I may not agree with what the chicken did,
but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing"
was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road",
and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization
of this potential occurrence.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other
side.
