When I was ~6, I experienced death - this is what I remember

[OutThisLife]

Somebody requested that I write it. There's a lot more to the story, of course. But this is what I remember: http://faestudio.com/articles/18-person ... experience

Why did I live if for this? Why was I alive if it was to live in a hospital, chained by fluids that I need? Why did I bleed & scream more than other children? I didn't know the answer, of course. I just knew that I must have been a bad kid, no one deserved this.

 

[IJesusChrist]

interesting

 

[OutThisLife]

interesting

You seem to be one of the "wise" here on Psychonaut.com.

Have you experienced, aside from psychedelic death, death? They're similar, and I believe they're about the same. The difference, of course, is that you come back 1.2 seconds later with ego death.

 

[IJesusChrist]

I think calling me wise would be blasphemy to some.

I haven't experienced death. I am looking forward to it, however. I would like to experience the simple statement "This is it."

When speaking about death, I used to become overwhelmingly frightened, as if reality distorted itself, much like a trip, and that death is a 'trap'. But I have grown since then, and seem to get at first, a burst of confidence, an unruley arogance, and after calming down, death appears. It's as if seeing through a window, without going through, I understand whats there, but I cannot experience it.

And so that will be the story until it happens.

I have heard many near-death experiences. All of them rival what I had previously thought;

A man gets in a car accident. An image explains to him he's going to have two sons, and he will name them Greg and Henry. He had two kids, both named such.

A woman dies. She hasn't seen her sister in 10 years. The minute she passes away, her cousin, calls the hospital in which she is resting. She asks "How is my sister?".

A woman (my mother actually) is clipping a girls hair. The girl is "glowing", she has a shining aura around her, and the hair clipper is unable to speak, and decides not to clip her hair, but let someone else, because the aura is slightly off-putting. The glowing girl dies in a car accident the next day.

It's all very odd if you ask me.

 

[Brugmansia]

I love K. And as I, small drop, felt down into my own body it wasn't much later when it all got diluted. I ended up with statues, faces in a tomb which was almost similar to this world, there's just no end to this tie but it may or may not be my ending. I witnessed my passed childhood in the future. <Can feel my feet already ... again> Can we see the final scene? I want to break this perpetual yearning.

 

[OutThisLife]

I think calling me wise would be blasphemy to some.

I haven't experienced death. I am looking forward to it, however. I would like to experience the simple statement "This is it."

When speaking about death, I used to become overwhelmingly frightened, as if reality distorted itself, much like a trip, and that death is a 'trap'. But I have grown since then, and seem to get at first, a burst of confidence, an unruley arogance, and after calming down, death appears. It's as if seeing through a window, without going through, I understand whats there, but I cannot experience it.

And so that will be the story until it happens.

I have heard many near-death experiences. All of them rival what I had previously thought;

A man gets in a car accident. An image explains to him he's going to have two sons, and he will name them Greg and Henry. He had two kids, both named such.

A woman dies. She hasn't seen her sister in 10 years. The minute she passes away, her cousin, calls the hospital in which she is resting. She asks "How is my sister?".

A woman (my mother actually) is clipping a girls hair. The girl is "glowing", she has a shining aura around her, and the hair clipper is unable to speak, and decides not to clip her hair, but let someone else, because the aura is slightly off-putting. The glowing girl dies in a car accident the next day.

It's all very odd if you ask me.

That about sums it all up -- life is complex and we have to come to grips with that.

Good thing, though, that we were built with imagination. Art seems more and more important as I grow older.

 

[IJesusChrist]

Ohoho Art.

I can only identify with select bits of it, and when I can relate, the case is usually that I dislike the majority of the artist's work. Same scenario goes with music.

My belief is that I can only identify with certain emotions put forth by artists at exact periods in their life, where the artist as a whole, only is a tangent for a brief period to my taste...

I have to draw!! Damnit! Haven't drawn in quite some time!

 

[????????]

the archetypal journey of the psychedelic trip is to die and be reborn. we prepare for death by tripping in some way

 

[BrainEater]

yeah death is juist a transition, is it? therefore it seems to exist.

 

[Brugmansia]

13.7 billion years of death took it before the universe itself started to generate my centre through the finest coincidence. And the trips softened the thought that it'll never be an unremitting marriage.

 

[tryptonaut]

Have you experienced, aside from psychedelic death, death? They're similar, and I believe they're about the same. The difference, of course, is that you come back 1.2 seconds later with ego death.

Who says it's 1.2 seconds? I only experienced ego death once with my first heroic dose of mushrooms (around 10g dried) and it must have been half an hour real time that I thought now everything is over, my life is gone and I will be floating in nothingness forever and alone.
Maybe I had such short 1.2 second "ego deaths" since but I never saw them as ego deaths really, because I think the first and only one was so brutal because it really took some time. The horrifying thing about it was that I was still being there, thinking and feeling, but everything else was gone. There was nothing and nobody, just an empty universe, and me floating in it.
Maybe that wasn't even ego death, but I truly believed for like half an hour that I must have died, it was the only explanation, and it was real. So I guess I can call this an ego death experience.
I really hope the real death experience won't be like that because it more than sucked!

I can't imagine what you have been going through in your childhood, it sounds just awful. I'm really happy you went through all this alive and well!