what a mess, can someone tell me how to clean it up please?

[Psychostain]

When i was 4 days over 22 i met this 17-year-old girl. She was/is my first love(i think i'ts love). Now we've been dating about half a year and she's now 18 and i'm still 22. When we officially started dating she made me quit all illegal drugs.
Now it's been bad for about a 2 months, her aunt and granpa died and my univercity studies are all going to hell... I'm stressed and tired. Lately i've been missing those darling experiences i've got with HBW seeds and mushrooms. She and her entire culture(the romani people(aka gypsies)) worship wealth. When I met her I took pity on her superficial and depressing world view.
I've tried twice to leave her, but she wouldn't let me, instead she has been crying, begging, blaming and hitting(with fists, open hands+ one knee-kick in the groin) me for like the last 3 weeks. I know I can't live like this, but I don't know if she could. Now I will think couple of simple(or atleast short.) questions for you so you can help me.

1.She belongs to the Pentecostalist church, wich I think is full of really twisted people, they almost literally think that all the drugs(apart from tobacco and alcohol) and other religions are from satan. I CAN'T agree with that. What can I do If i want/need to take psychedelics to stay content with my life but she forbids me?

2.If she took a minor dose of some type of psychedelic, would it mess her up? I mean I know it doesen't if you know what you'r doing but i think that's what she's afraid of+ betraying her parents(who are almost kicking her out of the house because she's finally datin someone).

3.Can you get hooked to a person? I mean when i think about when i told her that i'm leaving her, she wouldn't eat or sleep for a week,(or rather two weeks) all se would do was cry... that's pretty damn fucked up, right?

You can allso comment generally what you think about what i told you, no need to fiddle around one question if that makes it more difficult for you.
Oh and PS. I won't blame for you for your advice, radical perspective is what I'm looking for here!

 

[Guest]

*shit I've lost a full page of text, I'll try to recall what I've typed so far...

Ok, the only one who can clean up the mess is you.

It's very simple, either you break up (it's not your problem that she isn't eating and crying, she'll just have to get over you.
Or tell her that if she wants to keep having a relationship with you, she has to except your stance on psychedelics.

TIP: Never give anything that you stand for up when starting a relationship.
You don't say to somebody, wow I really like you, but you have to change some things.
It's not worth giving up things that are important to you.
If the person cares enough for you, they want you to be who you are and do the things that make you happy and are important to you.

Just tell her how you feel, if she doesn't understand (or give in) she is probably not the one for you.
Also tell her that not eating will only hurt herself, not you.

I know it's tough, but you really have to make a choice.

And if she keeps hitting you, JUST DUMP THE BITCH.
Sorry if this sounds hard, but that's just the way it is.
If she wants to play psycho? Fuck her, you don't need that shit.


I think it's important for you to keep focus on yourself, with your university studies and all.
Don't let her ruin your chances of a good future!
Although you don't have to graduate to have a good succesful and happy life, but if you can do what you want by finishing this study, GO FOR IT!

 

[GOD]

I agree with space basicaly .

If she starts hitting you or flipping out stay calm , just smile and go to the kitchen and fill a bucket with COLD water , she will understand , then calmly tell her to shut the fuck up and sit down and relax . Tell her to think about the what and why of what she has just done/is doing . Tell her she has a problem and that you love her and that you are prepared to help her to solve it . Without giving her a guilty conscience . Then tell her if she doesnt get a grip on herself you can not be with her anymore . And if she still doesnt stop flipping out throw the cold water at her .

Or every time she starts making problems just FUCK her .

You are the man in the relationship , if you let her put the trousers on you are going to loose BIG and in end effect so is she . The world is full of women and you are young , you have time .

Small doses of psychedelics are not the answer , IF you can get good ecstacy take some together , thats what ecstacy is used for medicaly , to break problematic mental bariers , then talk to eachother and then get tender and then fuck her . If you cant get GOOD ecstacy give her a bit of space cake , she needs to R-E-L-A-X .

Talking and being honest is the solution to most problem between a couple . You have brains , you go to university , you can surely convince her that she is the one with the problem , gently , by useing the things that she says and does as a way of explaining to her what she is doing , without acusations or blame .

Personaly i dont know where in the bible it says that women should flip out and hit their men .

One time i had big problems with a girl friend and i tried everything i could think of and nothing worked . So i told her that i had a problem and that i had to go to the doctors and needed her to come with me to help me . When we sat down in front of the doctor i told him that i had realy bad premenstrual tension and that it was causing big problems for us . It worked !!!

Yes , you can get adicted to someone , to having a relationship , even if its a realy shity one .

If you want a trip just take it and dont apologise about it , when you come up talk to her , let her see that it doesnt make you fuck kids or murder people . Trust yourself . The fact that you asked the questions means that you know what is going on , that you know what you want and that you know the solutions . Trust yourself . Be mentaly strong .

 

[silv]

I'd more rather listen to god or space, but i want to make this point though. I can already feel anger boiling up so let me make it quick without getting too angry:

If she abuses you physically in any way she DOES NOT AT ALL IN EVEN THE SLIGHTEST WAY LOVE YOU. Love is about mutual respect and caring about eachother and taking eachothers minusses for granted. Physical violence is a complete dealbreaker, leave her and if she doesn't eat? Fine let her starve herself she isn't for you. Once more, physical violence and love CAN NOT be combined.

 

[mortandello]

i live the same situation for about 11 YEARS, and i can tell you brother RUN and never look back
if she got preg you´ll see the hell.
they will even try to make you (argh) work.
run lola, run!

 

[GOD]

True , as soon as she says get a job , tell her to fuck off and get one herself and you will do the house work ( while watching TV and surfing ) .

No , that was a joke , but we mean when to much is to much its to much . First try the solutions but set yourself a limit and dont go past it . I know gypsys , thats where i learned to argue , just be imune to it , dont let yourself get manipulated , eat ice cream in front of her when shes on hunger strike . You could even try showing her this thread to show here how serious her problem is and what we think and what might happen if she doesnt calm down . Dont make her problem yours , gypsys have no shame when it comes to arguing , there is no trick to cheap and no blow to deep . They know that winning is winning , at any price .

Wierd storys 2 and 3 . One time a woman flpped out and pissed me off while i was having a piss , so i turned round and pissed down her leg . The other time one flipped out and pissed me off and went and locked herself in the bathroom and had a bath , so i kicked to door in , picked her up out of the bath and threw her dripping wet and naked out of the front door for 5 minutes . Both of them never did it again .

= learn to laugh , dont take it to seriously , maybe its just atempts to get you under controle .

 

[Guest]

Agree with everything that's been said, it's true, when you love someone you usually tend to forgive everything, thusfore beeing strong is beeing able to say FUCK

 

[Psychostain]

I'm greatful for all your advice. I forgot to mention that she's abroad now and I have/had from last wensday till next sunday to think about this situation...

 

[GOD]

What a nice coincidence ??? Better than telling her that you dont want to see her for a week so you can get your head straight and her having a fit again . But dont just sit and think , take a trip and sit and think !!!

 

[Psychostain]

most "e" around here is just meth in pill form and i'd rather kill myself then get anyone into that shit... so i guess it's the space-cakes then

 

[Tigereyelovestheganja]

She should love you for you, not you with some minor alterations.

 

[GOD]

I agree with Tigereyes , but , once someone sees that they can get you to do what they want it usualy turns into a never ending process . They try to change you untill you become someone that they dont love anymore . I thought that that was a classic problem that most people understood , she loves you for what you are , the rest is probably a control exercise . One that most men know from women , loads of them are never satisfied . You are the man , keep the trousers on or you will end up mentaly castrated with a dress on , and she will look for her kicks elsewhere . Its called testing , one test follows another , and most women who do it test to breaking point !!!


Hey Tigereyes , i agree that most of it is all in the mind , but a lot of it is between the legs as well ???

 

[Guest]

Hahaha, so true GOD, so true.

That's the problem if you have a rocky start, where you give up things because you're "all in love".
Then from that point on if the other is not satisfied, he/she will try to change the other, because it worked before.

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT!

 

[Psychostain]

Lol so she I knew she was coming back today and i tought the entire day about how I was going to tell her the truth and we would have this long civilized discussuin about stuff. Instead I go to their place for coffee and listen to her mother rave that "drugs are bad m'kay? they break you in the head y'know? I've never tried any or seen any or know alot about any but I've heard about how bad they are..." That was kinda depressing, frustrating and amusing at the same time
Now that I think about it it was all a setup. Her mother was afraid and wanted to make this situation happen. What a nice loving mother she has, And so sneaky too.

 

[GOD]

It was obviously a planed set up , it means that your "girl friend" talks to momy about everything .= you cant trust her , she doesnt realy love you , she wants controll . You are not "ken" and if she wants to play "barby" then let her play alone . The next step is that they ring the police up and try to save your soul , through ruining your life .

"Walk like a man ,
talk like a man ,
walk like a man my son ,
no womans worth ,
crawling on the earth ,
so walk like a man my son...."

The only choice that they have left you is to walk away or cut your own balls off . Dont degrade yourself , walk away , slowly , with your head held high . They are confused , they are the ones with blinkers on , blinkers that are also closed at the front . They lve in a room full of mirrors and all they can see is themselves . They have shown that they dont respect you , or your right to think for yourself and be yourself . There is no future for you there . Where was her dad ? doing the washing up and cleaning the windows or what ??? They are just pseudo religeous zombies . Momy has obviously never had a good fuck in her life . I´d probably just go back in the middle of the night and shit on the doorstep or on the bonet of their car .

 

[????????]

Jajajajaj I have no comments but this thread is highly amusing :lol: I want to know how everythings turns out!

 

[chemikolik]

one quetion I can ansewer is the addicted to someone and is it possible, I was addicted to a girl for 12 years and even when I caught her in bed with another guy I forgave her. Love is blind so they say, it certainly made me blind cos now ive been free for 2 yrs, looking back ive wasted a damm long time (over a decade) chasing someone who didnt really love me. Beware how you get rid of her though cos a woman scourned is a dangerous animal. p.s. I think its more obsessed than addicted. get out before she traps you and gets pregnant. We had two boys together and Iv now have custody of them for 2yrs cos she,s so messed up. Im only 29 and the first baby was born in '98, I wouldnt change it for the world now but its hard work being a single parent trust me.

 

[Forkbender]

Always break up with people who pretend they cannot live without you. This puts too much pressure on love, love cannot be commanded. The kind of relationship you are in now is one of killing the love that was there, not letting it grow. It becomes a drag and you need to cut it loose.
You don't need a ball and chain, you need someone who supports you, you need wings. Tell her what you need and see if that changes her habits of controlling everything you do. If not, pull the plug. Tell her you don't like her not taking care of herself properly when you want to break up, that you only get more disgusted by her emotionally blackmailing you, honesty is the best medicine for a broken relationship.

 

[mysticwarrior]

Get rid of your fears!! And you will see, that you don't love here anymore. It's all an illusion! It's hard to do this, but you will see.

 

[HeartCore]

've tried twice to leave her, but she wouldn't let me, instead she has been crying, begging, blaming and hitting(with fists, open hands+ one knee-kick in the groin) me for like the last 3 weeks.

In my experience, when you want to leave but you feel you can't becaus it's too painful, it will only make the eventual leaving, more painful.

What I don't understand is how you can have pity with someone's worldview but start a relation with them anyway.. Too me, that's as superficial as worshipping wealth