Time @ home... Stories, Motivation, the past.

[IJesusChrist]

So as most of you may know I'm at college, or was. I came home for summer a week ago and alot has been going on, the awakening of old memories & neurons getting greased up again. I have realized I drink alcohol way too much. Technically I believe I am considered an alcoholic, as are all of my friends. If I drink... I have a hang over, there is no inbetween.

The bigger story here is, I was going through alot of my old writings, back about 3,4 years ago when I had my first psychodelic experience and I was attempting to put it in words. All my stories got to about a page in length and stopped, I just couldn't explain the actual experience. Although they did bring it right back, which was actually comforting.

My mother had written, well copied and pasted alot of emails from my aunt during the time she had cancer. The emails followed about 5 months of her life, and then abruptly ended, she had passed away at that point. Life & death and how sudden it is.

I realized my friends at college have supressed my passions and my motivation, the first conversation with my friends at home brought it all back, why I wanted to go to college in the first place, why I had to do something with my life, and why I was depressed, which is not a reason to be depressed, it was a reason to be motivated.

Then this morning my mother was talking to me about how she was going to stay home today.
I asked "Why, you're not sick... remember when you got mad at me for staying home from school?"
"I don't know...[series of excuses]... I just don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life."
I don't really know what I should have said, or what I should say now to this. My mother is depressed and severely unmotivated for anything. She hasn't cleaned the house in ages, she doesn't like to finish anything she starts (anymore), the lawn is 10 feet high, and she doesn't want to work.

This is my own problem, and I will talk to her this weekend a little more in depth, but it brought a profound question (which I have asked you all before);

What drives us to be motivated?

For me, my original motivation, the real mcCoy to live, to have an existance, stemmed from anger, not love. I saw the situation Earth was / is in and lit a fire deep inside me. I needed to repair something, and that, I suppose, is where love came in - I love the Earth. I love nature, the trees, the bird's song, the unique plants, the baby mushrooms, the wind.

But in order to see that - I needed anger.

A little less dramatic is motivation for school work;
In order to get motivated for school, I simply must get inspired. I think of Einsteing, Hawking, Feyman, Schrodinger, Tesla, the great minds, and try to mimic their motivation and their desires. Of course I can't quite seem to get there.
... Ritalin ...

Oh momma... how do I help you. The cosmic sadness...

 

[jaywabz]

wat motivates me, and i think most people, is the search for reward.many things we do are in one way or another oriented towards achieving some kind of goal. take for instance learning: try sitting down and doing calculus, the process may be long and lethargic,on the other hand if you try learning something associated with pleasure and excitement dopamine fosters exploration for greater understanding. another example: (getting hi), many poeple have such motivation for this they go thru almost any means necasssary for the reward of getting hi in technical terms(dopamingeric realese)probaly one of the best examples of motivation ive seen yet...Many more examples associated with reward and motivation are prevelant all around us... you just have to see what the action leads to. :idea:

 

[ophiuchus]

i found it! i will take the time to post a thorough response in a day or so, i've alot of thought to put into this

 

[Teonanacapilli]

That's what this whole last week of solo camping has done for me. It has returned my motivation, brought my goals back into focus. I think sometimes, people need to withdraw from society, from all the fucking neon distraction, to see between the lines in clarity. To see what needs to be done, and then to do it. This may be a little rad for your mom, but not for you and I urge you to do it.

When some of our most famousest teachers (like Jesus and the Buddha) had their great realizations, it was always in the wild, away from society. To go in to the bush and really see things with unclouded eyes- it puts everything in perspective. I don't know your mom, but can you see something she can do like this, that would remove the distraction and the clutter, all the noise?

She has lost sight of her inspiration and/or goals perhaps, or she needs new ones. Can you find new ones for her, or help her find new ones? This seems to me to be the case.

I look forward to further input on this from others, and from your news IJC.

 

[BrainEater]

i call that mid-life crisis, generally. maybe you need to kick her in the ass so she gets moving on the way to setting up a new purpose or remembering a previous purpose. i mean what can you do? life is a purpose for itself, so it's also about the individual definition of that purpose you set up for yourself. if she is like paralyzed, trying to make her having to make moves by herself, could psychologically be a solution.

the means for achieving that are up to you. your creativity can be a wonderful tool, if you allow it to be. if it seems to be a possibility for you, to make your mother happy, then if you put all your heart in it, it will come back double, trust me. show her forms of joy, that she can activate from inside. show her that you love her. and be honest from your heart!
the natural beauty of life unfolds naturally, yet at times a gentle pointing into the supposedly right direction might seem to be a necessary measure to be taken. i suggest just trying to be as open-minded and open-hearted as you can. you can talk to her and maybe you can find a solution together. it can get tiresome if you circle only around (in) your own head, it can be as if the notion of separation can become stronger simply by the act of reflecting your own consciousness in the form of thought.

regarding your inspiration i suggest not to take the punyness of human minds as a basis. take the infinite intelligence inherent in nature. your brain has infinite intelligence also, it's just a matter of, whether you allow it to be, or whether you "access it". just don't force it and you will be fine.
regardless of the fact, that all human minds came out of the infinite intelligence of nature, it could be a little hint that everything is one. forgetting that sometimes can force the human mind into physical, mental and emotional separation or detachment. that process may often lead to suffering and thus open up the gate to the will(power) for change. god (nature) is one, therefore everything is one. that's the reason why it is so incredibly beautiful.

peace :weedman:

 

[????????]

What drives us to be motivated?

feeling useful

 

[ophiuchus]

What drives us to be motivated?

well i can'tr speculate for all of us, other than the general emotions that help foster motivation and the will to carry on; like feeling loved, feeling like you connect with people.

i am motivated by that, but by a deeper drive as well, it's a feeling that 'i must stand for the greater good, the cause that i deem noble, when it maybe cannot stand for itself. when things are unjust. i will be that crutch that virtue needs to get it's voice heard, whatever that act may be. :mrgreen: down with the propaganda, the force-fed lies and deceit :twisted: