Thoughts of Suicide

[Hissil]

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[Hissil]

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[druglessdouglas]

Hissil
ive had these thoughts many times. the thing is we only get one life and to end it is to deny yourself the potential for changing the world for the better.
its true the world is filled with shitty people who act worse than any animal but there is light and good too. its just not near you at the moment.
why should you punish yourself because other people are cunts. its not you who is to blame.
if you remove yourself from the world you only make it poorer. what the planet needs is more people like you who do give a damn. stay and make a difference, even if it appears to you that you cant and it would be like a drop in the ocean
i assure you that you can change the whole world.
just the fact you care will effect every person you meet in a positive way. people are shits because the people they meet are shits. monkey see monkey do. we are simple animals. we mirror the behavior of those around us without any real awareness. use that.
if you have control of how you interact with those you meet they will see something positive and they will in turn act a little more positively towards the people they meet. its like ripples on a pond when you throw a stone in. even a tiny stone will spread ripples through the whole pond.
so stay. make a difference and be patient with yourself. dont leave us short of one more decent soul

 

[Forkbender]

These may be hard questions I'm posing, but I'm not trying to bring you down. I respect the choice you make about yourself, but I think there are things you haven't seen or have supressed within yourself. If there are not, you will be able to answer these questions/comments without feeling bad.

People are too obssessed with their ego.

Only ego recognizes ego.

People just live in their false ignorant dream worlds where all that matters is their ego and living out their delusional fantasies.

How can you be sure you are right, then?

Everyone else is the same inside.

Why do you think so?

Freedom doesn't exist, it has been denied to me.

If it wouldn't exist, it couldn't have been denied to you, now could it?

Life is a waste of time.

Unless you are true to yourself.

Life means nothing because its a competition where people only want to take advantage of and control others for their own selfish pleasures. That's why I hate life and I hate everyone and I hate being alive and want to die.

That's your personal perception of life. You think life is like that and then you start seeing it that way around you, confirming your own egoic delusion about life. What you describe as life sounds like death to me, so why even bother to kill yourself, as you are already dead.

Love only exists for a very short period, and it is taken away right before I truly can understand it.

You can't understand love. This will only supress it as you don't identify with it.

I once was programmed to but ignorance is not bliss.

And now you have programmed yourself to see only pain and delusion in the world, but not in yourself. If you would truly see through all the bullshit, you wouldn't be bothered with matrices and the ego-games others play.

My advice would be to look at yourself. Listen to yourself. Feel what you feel and just feel it. Don't let yourself get carried away by thoughts and emotions, just stick to what you feel. Bring awareness into your life, so that you can at least say that you have lived truly (=without neglecting yourself).

If you give me a matrix response, or even worse make a threat, my reaction will be faster than yours so don't think you can fool me.

Is this a threat? Would there be a need to fool you if you were fooling yourself?

Respect,
Fork.

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

If someone wants to commit suicide because the world/society sucks (for whatever reasons), it's always a cover-story. The only reason a person would want to commit suicide is because their parents didn't know the art of parenting, probably because they didn't learn it from their parents. If parents do their job well, their children will love to live, regardless of the world around them.

So rather than talking about how mundane society sucks and that the universe is without purpose, leave such discussions aside for a while and first focus on what shaped you first: your early childhood and going through puberty. What kind of people were your parents, grandparents and great-grandparents? What beliefs were they influenced by? What problems did they have? How do you think their behavior influenced your self-esteem?

 

[Hissil]

If someone wants to commit suicide because the world/society sucks (for whatever reasons), it's always a cover-story. The only reason a person would want to commit suicide is because their parents didn't know the art of parenting, probably because they didn't learn it from their parents. If parents do their job well, their children will love to live, regardless of the world around them.

So rather than talking about how mundane society sucks and that the universe is without purpose, leave such discussions aside for a while and first focus on what shaped you first: your early childhood and going through puberty. What kind of people were your parents, grandparents and great-grandparents? What beliefs were they influenced by? What problems did they have? How do you think their behavior influenced your self-esteem?

Your very narrow minded and my only response would be to read the words I wrote instead of reading it through your "psychologist" filter which is bullshit. All the answers are in what I wrote. You say my reasons are not true but you're so fucking brainwashed thats why your ignorant and have it all wrong. I'm not wasting time with you. Your fuckin dumb. Offense intended.

 

[Hissil]

Only ego recognizes ego.
--
I observe other egos including my own. I come to the conclusion thats people's main focus in life.


How can you be sure you are right, then?
--
I never said i wanted to live


Why do you think so?
--
Everyone that is programmed, that is


If it wouldn't exist, it couldn't have been denied to you, now could it?
--
"Doestn exist" is a metaphore.

Unless you are true to yourself.
--
I can't be.


That's your personal perception of life. You think life is like that and then you start seeing it that way around you, confirming your own egoic delusion about life. What you describe as life sounds like death to me, so why even bother to kill yourself, as you are already dead.
--
Its easier to be dead than to be alive in the state I'm in.


You can't understand love. This will only supress it as you don't identify with it.
--
You dont know what your talking about. You dont realize that not having love can also teach you about love.

And now you have programmed yourself to see only pain and delusion in the world, but not in yourself. If you would truly see through all the bullshit, you wouldn't be bothered with matrices and the ego-games others play.
--
No, this isn't programming myself. This is expereincing and finding nobody else that is different from teh standard selfish ego-obessive ignorant sheep.

Thoughts and emotions, is what I feel.

 

[Hissil]

Hissil
ive had these thoughts many times. the thing is we only get one life and to end it is to deny yourself the potential for changing the world for the better.
its true the world is filled with shitty people who act worse than any animal but there is light and good too. its just not near you at the moment.
why should you punish yourself because other people are cunts. its not you who is to blame.
if you remove yourself from the world you only make it poorer. what the planet needs is more people like you who do give a damn. stay and make a difference, even if it appears to you that you cant and it would be like a drop in the ocean
i assure you that you can change the whole world.
just the fact you care will effect every person you meet in a positive way. people are shits because the people they meet are shits. monkey see monkey do. we are simple animals. we mirror the behavior of those around us without any real awareness. use that.
if you have control of how you interact with those you meet they will see something positive and they will in turn act a little more positively towards the people they meet. its like ripples on a pond when you throw a stone in. even a tiny stone will spread ripples through the whole pond.
so stay. make a difference and be patient with yourself. dont leave us short of one more decent soul

I don't see how me being postive towards negative people is going to make this world a better place. It hasn't worked like that for me at all. It actaully makes things worse since people are programmed to respond even more negatively when presented with positive experiences. This really bugs me. I don't feel like placing uneeded responsibilities on myself.

 

[Hissil]

All of you have not given advice. You have given me matrix responses. In short, this is how I percieve what you have told me:

druglessdouglas is trying to tell me there is still hope.
Forkbender is trying to twist my words around and change the implied meanings my metaphores/statements carry. Trying to create a siutation of guilt also.
and CaduceusMercurius is trying to brainwash me with the matrix/psychologist approach of changing the topic and trying to redirect my frustration and focus towards irrelevent childhood events

 

[Meduzz]

Dude, get yourself together. If you're going to bite at every hand that tries to help you, you shouldn't have posted here...

Killing yourself is stupid. You'd better just leave and go into the wild if you're not afraid of dying. It seems to me that you have nothing to loose... That is a freedom that only few of us have. It's oppurtunity to go and experiment; go places, help people, smile,...

 

[Hissil]

CaduceusMercurius, do me a favor and do not post on this thread. I am not giving you information you intend to use against me. I do not believe in your fucked up approach of addressing my problems in the worst way possible. I'm not asnwering your stupid ass questions. Bye.

 

[Hissil]

Dude, get yourself together. If you're going to bite at every hand that tries to help you, you shouldn't have posted here...

Killing yourself is stupid. You'd better just leave and go into the wild if you're not afraid of dying. It seems to me that you have nothing to loose... That is a freedom that only few of us have. It's oppurtunity to go and experiment; go places, help people, smile,...

Killing yourself is stupid.
--
Thats your opinion but its actaully not stupid to everyone. I don't agree with your egotistic morals.

If you're going to bite at every hand that tries to help you, you shouldn't have posted here...
----
Nobody has tried to help, stop bullshitting. Stop trying to influence me with more matrix responses. I asked specifically for peopel not to do this. As I can see you still think im ignorant.

 

[Hissil]

You'd better just leave and go into the wild if you're not afraid of dying. It seems to me that you have nothing to loose... That is a freedom that only few of us have. .

Theres some good advice but you only see the shallow parts of me i have revelaed

 

[Meduzz]

It's all I can see right? If you think revealing more would help, don't hesitate to PM

 

[Hissil]

Nobody is obliged to psot here. Nobody is obliged to give advice, and nobody is obliged to accept advice. If you are trying to help, i am grateful for that. But i ask you think twice before you take the casual approach you take to handle small tasks.

Im not askign anyone of you to help me. Im simply asking that if you do, make sure you believe it.

If i dont agree with your advice i will explain why.

 

[Hissil]

044g

 

[Hissil]

vacant

 

[Meduzz]

I respect my morals- love truth and freedom. I dont feel complete unless i have all 3. I would have freedom in the wilderness. but i would be isolated from love and trtuh. it would be quite miserable in all honesty.

Do you believe you will have all 3 in death? They are still out in the world, closer than you might think....

 

[Hissil]

vacant

 

[Hissil]

vacant