The BAD
- Auteur de la discussion GOD
- Date de début
Space-is-the-Place
Holofractale de l'hypervérité
- Inscrit
- 22/9/08
- Messages
- 1 072
Well, with and without drugs...
When a friend died @ age 15
I was just devastated
The following years consist of a lot of drug abuse.
Although my first time mushrooms completely changed my path.
I remember one weekend, that friday we got some MDMA, I got a whole gram for myself and a gram of speed.
Just took a little mdma at a friends house and drank beers and then took 2 pills and was up the whole night.
Saturday we were going to a party that evening, I hadn't eaten anything the whole day and with a lot of trouble worked down a vegetable soup and a pancake.
Then in the train to the party I felt so shit that I decided to do some speed.
So I felt normal again. Then partying the whole night, smoked a lot of joints, drank alcohol, did speed and MDMA and was a bit wasted.
Then that morning we went to a girls house to celebrate her birthday.
I did manage to work down a sandwich, but I skipped the lunch and dinner and again smoked some joints, did some speed and drank beers.
So when going back, we were on the station and I needed to take a piss.
But since I was always the guy that looked out for everybody nobody came with me. So walking around there I completely forgot that I was going to the bathroom and I was seeing shadows and crazy stuff, being paranoid and was going like:"Goddamnit, those assholes just left me. Fuck it! I need to get to platform 8, I want to go home."
Then my friends got worried and wondered where the fuck I went, so they looked all over for me, then finally they found me at platform 8.
One of my friends started screaming at me:"You asshole, where were you, wtf is this shit?" And I screamed back that I just wanted to go home, but he kept on blaming me and I just started to cry jelling:"Fuck you man, fuck you, I just want to go HOME!"
Back home it was a paranoid job of getting to my house, seeing cops all around (sleep deprivation hallucinations) and people following me.
When a friend died @ age 15
I was just devastated
The following years consist of a lot of drug abuse.
Although my first time mushrooms completely changed my path.
I remember one weekend, that friday we got some MDMA, I got a whole gram for myself and a gram of speed.
Just took a little mdma at a friends house and drank beers and then took 2 pills and was up the whole night.
Saturday we were going to a party that evening, I hadn't eaten anything the whole day and with a lot of trouble worked down a vegetable soup and a pancake.
Then in the train to the party I felt so shit that I decided to do some speed.
So I felt normal again. Then partying the whole night, smoked a lot of joints, drank alcohol, did speed and MDMA and was a bit wasted.
Then that morning we went to a girls house to celebrate her birthday.
I did manage to work down a sandwich, but I skipped the lunch and dinner and again smoked some joints, did some speed and drank beers.
So when going back, we were on the station and I needed to take a piss.
But since I was always the guy that looked out for everybody nobody came with me. So walking around there I completely forgot that I was going to the bathroom and I was seeing shadows and crazy stuff, being paranoid and was going like:"Goddamnit, those assholes just left me. Fuck it! I need to get to platform 8, I want to go home."
Then my friends got worried and wondered where the fuck I went, so they looked all over for me, then finally they found me at platform 8.
One of my friends started screaming at me:"You asshole, where were you, wtf is this shit?" And I screamed back that I just wanted to go home, but he kept on blaming me and I just started to cry jelling:"Fuck you man, fuck you, I just want to go HOME!"
Back home it was a paranoid job of getting to my house, seeing cops all around (sleep deprivation hallucinations) and people following me.
The worst I've ever been was after 5 days of XTC and speed abuse. 3 days spent only seeing negative in everything, and wishing I had never come to birth, wanting to disappear from this world. No energy, no will for anything, crying all the time... I continued abusing them for a few months, then stopped, almost a year ago. I haven't completely recovered yet...
It's the most stupid thing I ever did. It's not like I didn't know it was gonna end this way.
It's the most stupid thing I ever did. It's not like I didn't know it was gonna end this way.
