Telling friends you need some space

[????????]

I recently told my friends I didn't want to go out because it was saturday and I haven't smoked all week and I smoked a fat joint and wanted to be alone, they came to pick me up and its such a drag... because I don't want to upset them or anything but I wanted to be left alone doing my thing (trying to meditate, etc :lol and anyway it's not such a thrill for me to go out in a car and drive around, they wanted to smoke but it's different because they do it like... I don't know like doing some mischief... and to me it's so much more than that, cannabis it's part of my life and I have gained this respect for the plant you know, it's like a ritual for me...

I know I must come off as a crazy solitaire guy but I don't care, I had planned that day for ALL WEEK and you know, they came in the middle of it :?

have anyone dealt with this issues? how did you do it?

 

[GOD]

I turn the doorbell off and put a note on the door "do not disturb" and dont go to the door .

 

[????????]

My door is usually open, I live in a building with doorman, so they just came and kidnapped me.

 

[Guest]

Close it, lock it and put a chair under the knob (if it opens to the inside)

 

[Gratefully_dead]

Close it, lock it and put a chair under the knob (if it opens to the inside)

hahaha i love on the big labowski when he sets up the chair and nails the board to the floor to brace it and everything then the guys just pull the door open

 

[Guest]

Hahaha, I was thinking the same thing, that's why I added (if the door opens to the inside) :lol:

 

[tryptonaut]

I was having the same problem a dozen times when I wanted to do a shroom session on my scarce free weekends, but then friends/colleagues wanted to drag me to a bar or club. The argument "but this is the only time in weeks I'm having two free days in a row" doesn't really make sense unless you know what I was planning. And I really can't tell most people that I'm going to lock myself inside a dark room and take an insane amount of mushrooms...

Even more problematic: plan an ayahuasca session, don't drink alcohol, don't eat certain foods. You planned it for weeks, everything's perfect, even the neighbours are on vacation so perfect silence is guaranteed - then some colleagues come up with the fantastic idea to have a beer or two after work. Telling them I don't drink wouldn't make sense because usually I'm the first to pop a beer after work... so, what to tell them?

 

[ararat]

invent a good pretext. you could say you've ordered a hooker to come or something xD

why do you have such ununderstanding friends? when I say I don't want, they let me be. I can tell them that I want to trip, but I don't think it would make a difference

 

[tryptonaut]

I have a few good old friends whom I could tell everything. They were the ones I started smoking weed with when I was sixteen, we tried other drugs together and talked countless times about everything from the bottom of our hearts on X and/or alcohol.
But there are other people I like who don't know shit about drugs. It's not their fault, they are nice people anyways, but they would be shocked and probably try to stop me doing these "dangerous things", try to "help me". You know... what misinformed people do...
Maybe I need to stop being such a chicken and just tell everyone - but then I think I need to find another job because in my situation right now it wouldn't be very helpful if the wrong people heard rumors about me being a "psycho drug addict".

 

[trick]

man i know exactly what you mean by "when they smoke its like their doing mischief" my 'friend' is such an ass when it comes to smoking a meditating, when i first toled him about it, his responce was him folding hit legs and making the 2 ok hand signles and humming life an idiot and then cracking up laughing at me. And most of the people i hang out ith that smoke are unfortinatly like that [i kinda live in the ghetto] and they dont understand how i can have fun smoking by myself. but back to my friend, i just looked him straight in the eyes with out a speck of sarcausum "Look man thats just what i do, i enjoy it, and i cant do it with you[hes kinda hyperactive] nor would i do it around you, come back tonight and weel smoke a joint [he just wanted to smoke thats why he was there in the first place]. so you should just try to explane to them that everyonce and a while youd like some time to yourself, and maby use an analogy if their not verry bright, like its like jacking off, would you like me to come over your house while you were in the middle of that? lol er somthing i dont know

 

[????????]

Yes, a lot of people don't even consider smoking by themselves, I guess because the only frame of reference it's alcohol :roll: and people who drink alone are seen as "losers"... Still, telling your friends to piss off and leave you alone it's such a drag because you know that they are nice people, as tryptonaut said, and especially because I prefer avoiding all kinds of drama...

I guess next weekend I'm going to tell everyone I went on a trip...

 

[Guest]

Don't you have those things that are called free will and mutual respect?
It's not like your friends are physicly dragging you to the cafe?
If you want to have a quiet weekend alone it should be your choice and freedom to do so.
It's so fucked up if you have to lie about going tripping.
I'm just having the weekend to myself and that's it. Right?

 

[????????]

Don't you have those things that are called free will and mutual respect?

I THOUGHT I DID, the thing is they had already come to see me (they showed up spontaneously) so I had to actually tell them to leave and that's what I don't like, because it's such a bummer...

Anyway I've learned and next time I'll MAKE SURE this does not happen.

 

[GOD]

Next time you see your friends just explain that you like them comming round and doing things with them ....but that sometimes you want to be alone and that they should acept that when they come and you say "Guys this is one of the times i want to be alone" and not feel like you are being an arsehole to them . And / or lock the door and put a note on it , and turn the bell off and dont open the door if someone knocks . Everyone needs time to themselves , a private sphere , and if people cant acept that then they arent real friends . Talking is the best way to solve problems . Cant you get high with them ? Try explaining what and why you do what you do . Maybe take a trip with them , one at a time first and then all together . Its your life and problems like that are part of learning , and learning how to asert yourself .

 

[????????]

yes, yes, the good thing is now I have a precedent and in the future I'll be able to say "guys, this is one of those times..." so thank you all for your responses :wink: :thumbsup: