Dantediv86
Holofractale de l'hypervérité
- Inscrit
- 18/4/07
- Messages
- 2 264
intro (sorry if it's a long piece to read, but please do take the time to read it)
I've been in this forum for one week...i've been reading a lot and posted many replies...i would like to start a serious thread...now it's not easy for me to talk so openly....and i must say it's abit scary cause i'm putting forward something very personal that only lately i've decided to investigate. as a matter of fact it was only two weeks ago that i finally decided to talk with a doctor about it. next week i'm gonna get my brains scanned with EEG and MRI to see if i have anything going "wrong" in there.
Now the main dish
when i was 10 moved to Nigeria and was gonna stay there for 4 years. note that in those 4 years i never contracted malaria, yellow fever or any shit available just by standing for five minutes outside. i got a bit of flu sometimes but nothing else.
I ate normal food. went to school. had friends like any 10 year old boy. didn't have a computer. didn't watch too much tv. allways liked to experiment really easy and harmless things and loved to watch the world through my first microscope kit. so all normal so far, i think.
one day staying in my room reading comic books i had the weirdest of experiences. i suddenly had flashes in my mind of situations and actions that were revolving around me, i knew these were all things "to come" i don't know how i knew it but i did...these were not CEV or OEV because i couldn't really see them but mostly "remembering them" .like with dejavu you se an action that your mind registers as happened just a second ago. i had a thousand dejavues all together passing through my mind and had the feeling you get while holding your breath. after the "visions" were gone i felt my head spinning like when you have been spinning for a while and you stop adruptly. my legs and arms went numb and as i was standing, i fell (lukily) on my bed i felt goosebumps forming on my skin and i was sweating and my eyes were unfocused...now after that i tried talking about it with my mom and she didn't seem that much concerned (for me it was quite scary, i was expecting her to freak out) but she didn't and asked me if i had taken anything suspicious lately or if i just didn't imagine it and it was just a normal dejavu :?
anyhow a few days later i got in a couple of the situations i "saw" in the first dejavu (from now on the FDJV) and i would get a milder feelings of all the feelings i listed for the FDJV...the strange thing is when i talked about it to my mother she didn't remember saying anything about it (i mean my mom has areally good memory, so it was strange for me to ge this response) however after these it happened only twice in the 4 years we were in Nigeria. i would live one of the "premonitions" (i would call them that because i couldn't call them dejavu i have those all the time but they don't remind me of the "visions" and don't give me those effects) of the FDJV and feel the nauseating feeling of headspinning shivers fatigue and traspiration (i would soak a dry shirt in a sec).
the thing that pissed me off was that my mom never remembered any of the times i talked to her about it every time i would say "mom i had one of my premonitions" she would say " :? what are you talking about honey?" "yes those dejavu like things i get sometimes i've told you about them" said i, and still she would reply "sweetie you never talked about any of this" and i went WTF??? but in my own mind otherwhise i'd get in trouble. so until i went to highschool nothing happened...actually until i was 16 i started again having these "re-Visions" of actions. and i undestood then how the recall mechanism worked. allmost like a dejavu except that you can't stop a dejavu. sometimes i was able to stop the recovery of the vision and in time to stop the feeling of fatigue. i would just profusely transpire and feel tingly without falling to the ground. however i didn't have full control on these and sometimes i wasn't able to stop thus i would remember the actions i was gonna make, perform them and at the end fall unable to think straight allmost as if i had huge joint smoked in one hit. lukily it happened only once at school and i was sitting and after completing the vision i felt unconscious for a split second and came back just in time to see the table bang against my head...i got off saying that i fell asleep because i didn't sleep the night before (not true cause i slept like an angel for 9 hours). i've been having these things avery two months for about 1 month (i would have one every 4-5 days within that month) ever since. at the moment i'm writing this i'm in one of my transition periods where nothing happens and the last "attack" (cause it might be epilepsy for what i know) was a month ago where i was standing in the kitchen and doing a very banal thing (i don't remember what because then i forget what i saw and did after 1 month the attack takes place, i've been keeping a journal...soon after i get an attack i write what i saw and did, and if a read back i don't even remember properly what i did ... i read something and is like a friend telling me these things, i "remove" them from memory allmost, except the recent ones which i remember. ) and only lately my mom got concerned because she saw me falling like a heap of clothes a month ago the same dialoge as before was repeated for the 1000th time.
I feel like a loony rereading this, also because i'ts written like crap, and hope to get helpful and if not at least no trivial answers like:" duude this one's a spastic lol you sure youre not on drugs? the latter kind of replies are non tasteful and offensive to me because i just shared something that is deeply personal... and if i find out that in fact it's epilepsy (which i find hard to believe since the "attacks" hve no consistency as with epilepsy, i have friend who is and i know how it works) please do not post the :"i'm sorry dude" kind of reply, that would just irritate me... we'll close the topic taking note that it's a physiological reaction and that i have to live with it without the possibility to explore it. on the other hand i'm hoping it is some kind of reaction that will help me someway rather than just be a fascinating event that causes a certain degree of discomfort.
I've been in this forum for one week...i've been reading a lot and posted many replies...i would like to start a serious thread...now it's not easy for me to talk so openly....and i must say it's abit scary cause i'm putting forward something very personal that only lately i've decided to investigate. as a matter of fact it was only two weeks ago that i finally decided to talk with a doctor about it. next week i'm gonna get my brains scanned with EEG and MRI to see if i have anything going "wrong" in there.
Now the main dish
when i was 10 moved to Nigeria and was gonna stay there for 4 years. note that in those 4 years i never contracted malaria, yellow fever or any shit available just by standing for five minutes outside. i got a bit of flu sometimes but nothing else.
I ate normal food. went to school. had friends like any 10 year old boy. didn't have a computer. didn't watch too much tv. allways liked to experiment really easy and harmless things and loved to watch the world through my first microscope kit. so all normal so far, i think.
one day staying in my room reading comic books i had the weirdest of experiences. i suddenly had flashes in my mind of situations and actions that were revolving around me, i knew these were all things "to come" i don't know how i knew it but i did...these were not CEV or OEV because i couldn't really see them but mostly "remembering them" .like with dejavu you se an action that your mind registers as happened just a second ago. i had a thousand dejavues all together passing through my mind and had the feeling you get while holding your breath. after the "visions" were gone i felt my head spinning like when you have been spinning for a while and you stop adruptly. my legs and arms went numb and as i was standing, i fell (lukily) on my bed i felt goosebumps forming on my skin and i was sweating and my eyes were unfocused...now after that i tried talking about it with my mom and she didn't seem that much concerned (for me it was quite scary, i was expecting her to freak out) but she didn't and asked me if i had taken anything suspicious lately or if i just didn't imagine it and it was just a normal dejavu :?
anyhow a few days later i got in a couple of the situations i "saw" in the first dejavu (from now on the FDJV) and i would get a milder feelings of all the feelings i listed for the FDJV...the strange thing is when i talked about it to my mother she didn't remember saying anything about it (i mean my mom has areally good memory, so it was strange for me to ge this response) however after these it happened only twice in the 4 years we were in Nigeria. i would live one of the "premonitions" (i would call them that because i couldn't call them dejavu i have those all the time but they don't remind me of the "visions" and don't give me those effects) of the FDJV and feel the nauseating feeling of headspinning shivers fatigue and traspiration (i would soak a dry shirt in a sec).
the thing that pissed me off was that my mom never remembered any of the times i talked to her about it every time i would say "mom i had one of my premonitions" she would say " :? what are you talking about honey?" "yes those dejavu like things i get sometimes i've told you about them" said i, and still she would reply "sweetie you never talked about any of this" and i went WTF??? but in my own mind otherwhise i'd get in trouble. so until i went to highschool nothing happened...actually until i was 16 i started again having these "re-Visions" of actions. and i undestood then how the recall mechanism worked. allmost like a dejavu except that you can't stop a dejavu. sometimes i was able to stop the recovery of the vision and in time to stop the feeling of fatigue. i would just profusely transpire and feel tingly without falling to the ground. however i didn't have full control on these and sometimes i wasn't able to stop thus i would remember the actions i was gonna make, perform them and at the end fall unable to think straight allmost as if i had huge joint smoked in one hit. lukily it happened only once at school and i was sitting and after completing the vision i felt unconscious for a split second and came back just in time to see the table bang against my head...i got off saying that i fell asleep because i didn't sleep the night before (not true cause i slept like an angel for 9 hours). i've been having these things avery two months for about 1 month (i would have one every 4-5 days within that month) ever since. at the moment i'm writing this i'm in one of my transition periods where nothing happens and the last "attack" (cause it might be epilepsy for what i know) was a month ago where i was standing in the kitchen and doing a very banal thing (i don't remember what because then i forget what i saw and did after 1 month the attack takes place, i've been keeping a journal...soon after i get an attack i write what i saw and did, and if a read back i don't even remember properly what i did ... i read something and is like a friend telling me these things, i "remove" them from memory allmost, except the recent ones which i remember. ) and only lately my mom got concerned because she saw me falling like a heap of clothes a month ago the same dialoge as before was repeated for the 1000th time.
I feel like a loony rereading this, also because i'ts written like crap, and hope to get helpful and if not at least no trivial answers like:" duude this one's a spastic lol you sure youre not on drugs? the latter kind of replies are non tasteful and offensive to me because i just shared something that is deeply personal... and if i find out that in fact it's epilepsy (which i find hard to believe since the "attacks" hve no consistency as with epilepsy, i have friend who is and i know how it works) please do not post the :"i'm sorry dude" kind of reply, that would just irritate me... we'll close the topic taking note that it's a physiological reaction and that i have to live with it without the possibility to explore it. on the other hand i'm hoping it is some kind of reaction that will help me someway rather than just be a fascinating event that causes a certain degree of discomfort.