Sober trip

[IJesusChrist]

I have just had the most intense moments of my entire life I believe.

I feel like I'm exploding, the world is spinning.

I can't describe this. I have drank some coffee, but I am on the edge of reality, the edge of containing myself. It is incredible. I have spent the last hour reading a very large amount of philosophy, psychology, and looking at art.

I feel very depressed, meaningless, but at the same time incredibly hopeful and motivated.

I don't know what is going on and that is fine.

I don't know who I am.

I feel like this is the first time I've ever seen myself. Or anything. I feel like I've just been born, into a 22 year olds body. I am not ready for the future, but I am so excited to meet it. I am full of wonder, but wish it would last forever. Why am I going to die? An irrational question with no meaning whatsoever.

Love, empathy, bliss, logic, hate, disgust, fear. I feel like I'm on every emotion at once. If the room were breathing I'd be inclined to think I've just taken a large dose of psilocybin. I feel incredible. Drunk. Madness.


What else can I say? What else can I do? Questions, leading to uncertainty, leading to uncomfort, leading to comfort, leading to understanding, leading to reality, leading to expansiveness. Doubts. Questions. Hope.

Conflict.

I will have to address you all tomorrow to see how I come out of this one.

A thousand miles an hour am I.

 

[IJesusChrist]

As soon as I got off the computer my body was tingling. I couldn't get these images and words out of my head. Quotes by Einstein, Twain, Jefferson, etc. . . I felt connected. Like all the intelligence was a "thing" which infected us, gave some of us true insight into the world. Empathy, sympathy, that omnipotent viewing of reality once in a while. I sat down on my bed trying to get away from the abyss... I was having a flash back. The abyss returned and encompassed me, cradled me like a baby robbed from its mother. The world's future swirled in my head, the present wasn't here any more. Nothing mattered but the absolute end of time.

I began again to think of how all these men of genius all end up with the same exact questions. No matter what period in time they always ask the same questions. It humbled me and I realized we all stare in awe at the stars and the planets. None of us know, none of us have a clue. I began to cry at how powerful this is - ALL PEOPLE, ALL KNOWLEDGE... NONE of us know what is happening. None of us know why we are here. I wept. I didn't know if I was sad or happy, but I knew I was completely covered in awe. The Awe drug...

I had an epiphany that we all have created ourselves. Whatever the collective consciousness "we" are, we have created ourselves. Molded from being that were unconscious, or at least, not conscious directly into conscious beings contemplating why we are conscious. "We" did it. Whatever "we" is I don't know - life, God, energy... "We" are the entities.

 

[Crimzen]

"We" did it. Whatever "we" is I don't know - life, God, energy... "We" are the entities.

i love that and find it resonates incredibly strongly for me as well

 

[xaositect]

I thought this may resonate with your epiphany
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6w2M50_ ... r_embedded

 

[BrainEater]

does your brain use you or do you use your brain???


peace

 

[EewDefining]

Maybe someone in your nieghborhood or apartment building was tripping, I know when i'm around people that are tripping it will set me off.