Products of mononucleosis.

[IJesusChrist]

I've been sick. And I've been sitting. I can't fall asleep, but I can think:

"What is your god?"

I've always ignored this question on purpose, not because I didn't know, but because I can't explain it.

Hey, IJC, what do you believe in, do you believe in God?

First, I think that word carries to much baggage friend, so we'll take that word away. What I truly believe in, the omnipotent truth of beginning and end is not an entity. If I were to go on to say "He..." or "She..." I would instantly throw you off my true intentions of definitions.

What I would say, rather, is that the truth to the universe is an idea, a thing, blanketing everything. It barricades, it draws limits, and it also allows loop holes. Where you and I seperate is how you view reality. When I think of such a concept as you label God, I am at once understanding of your view, however exact it may be, it is in a broad selection in my interpretations that end in the same meaning.

But when you ask of God, and ask me, the difference is this: I do not see people, I do not see cars, I do not see love and hate. I don't see time. I don't see space. I am a singularity. A singularity built upon laws, ideas, infinitely large and small, stretching and spanning together their lengths simultaneously. My "God" is within this, in fact, it is this.

So, if you ask me again, rephrase it to a more broader question to get a better answer; "So, IJC, do you believe in people?"

 

[Nomada]

My time of diagnosed mononucleosis was filled with hate towards myself, five years ago it was. The all so violent social environment finally got my loins and I started a downward spiral of alcohol abuse, lack of normal sleep, depression, I even used to cut myself.

Backwards I now see how my genetic expression fell down some stones--now wonderfully regained. This time now lurks behind me, a shadow, of what can I become if I loose myself to their game after having played in the scent of a wild flower--I was then naive enough to forget I was not alone.

God invades me lately as spiral, one side is going down, and the other is going up. Both get lost afar in the haze of my sight. The choice is made with every breath--now without much thought to my fortune-- and the memory is witnessed with tears, and honored with them.

So much for process. The one thing one can just awry attempt to ignore. You know how it goes: "I won't give up it wants me dead, goddamm this nooise inside my head."

...la la la

 

[IJesusChrist]

It is true that I had felt blue sitting and thinking in my bed. My eyes closed, my thoughts would fuse together, melting everything.
But, with every negative thought, in a negative realm, I seem to gain days, weeks now of bliss, in atleast a neutral realm. Mono was a quick dip into ultimate death,

On of the thoughts I had, 2, 3am.

"It is the divine answer to destroy one's self. It is the ultimate act of selflessness, to divide your love is a trick to keep yourself alive, the true love comes from giving up your greed, selfishness, and ignorance. Ghandi tried to accomplish it alive, but the surefire way to greet it is self-destruction"

I awoke from that quite confused.

 

[????????]

"It is the divine answer to destroy one's self. It is the ultimate act of selflessness, to divide your love is a trick to keep yourself alive, the true love comes from giving up your greed, selfishness, and ignorance. Ghandi tried to accomplish it alive, but the surefire way to greet it is self-destruction"

powerful.

 

[IJesusChrist]

I... am semi-sedated by this DMT trip.
Don't really know what to say... I almost wish I hadn't posted the second reply of mine on this thread... But, it was a very strong insight for me.

 

[BrainEater]

hey man!

the word carries too much baggage for sure! the concept for which it stands has been raped by many brutal rather shallow minds. i say raped because they try violently to understand a concept in a way it cannot be understood or try to use it for their benefits in a way it maybe should not be used.
i mostly try to understand the concept in a way that i live in it and it lives in me.
often i think i understand it, but then i must come to the conclusion that i only think i understand. it's definately much bigger and much more intricate in it's implications than anything i can imagine.

well anyways.... so IJC do you believe in people?

peace

 

[IJesusChrist]

"Do you believe in people?"

When I should; when it is necessary to do so.