MDMA and mood swings

[seminice]

Hi guys,

I've got a question for you all.

I used to be a the quiet introverted, lost in thought, absent minded and appearing deep and intelligent, but I noticed that ever since I started taking MDMA about ten months ago I started having mood swings and reacting to them more. Both in the short and long term. To give you some examples:

Short term:
- I become more easily annoyed with, and angry at other people and myself, but I also am more social, forgiving and less passive aggressive.
- I feel better when something goes right, but worse when something goes bad.
- More importantly I feel better when I think of something going right, and worse when I think of something going bad. For instance, my life isn't exactly where I want it to be right now, and when I think of a way I can make it better I immediately feel like it already is, but when I think of what is going wrong I immediately start to doubt myself and I feel terrible.

Long term:
- I feel more down and depressed when things are not looking up. Overall, this winter, with it's cold weather and limited possibilities felt like an agony. I always felt a bit down in winter, but never before have I actually played with the idea of going to a psychologist.
- I also feel a lot better and energized when things are generally going well. As long as I can hold on to the positive momentum I am more productive, more creative and happier then most other people.

I realise that I don't feel what other people feel so I don't know whether I've got more mood changes than other people now or less mood changes before I started taking it. I don't even know if it's the MDMA, the result of stress (there are some long term external stressors in my life) or just a development in my thinking that doesn't have anything to do with either of these things. I wouldn't even mind the change if it wasn't for the horrible winter I experienced, I was so low on energy that I felt I had to pick up an entirely new life again recently.

Anyway, I came to the conclusion that MDMA might be the, or more likely one of the, factors of my mental change. I decided I will stop taking it for at least half a year to see how that works out. Furthermore I won't take it until I get certain other aspects of my life back on track. And finally I'm looking for an answer as to whether MDMA can really influence your mood this much.

Has anybody else had similar experiences? or am I imagining the connection and is it something else entirely?

 

[Psychoid]

Yes!
I did experience exactly the same thing back when I abused ecstasy.
It is now over a year since the last time I took some, and I feel I'm pretty back to normal, or in fact better than normal (don't remember feeling that great about life before).
Since then, I also feel like the sun has a bigger influence on my mood, or maybe I just started noticing it.
I find ecstasy (not specifically MDMA, cause unfortunately I've never had the chance to get some pure crystals) fucks up your mood when you abuse it.

I think ecstasy shouldn't be taken more than once or twice a year.

 

[seminice]

Yes, I'm definitely taking more caution with this XTC and MDMA.

I've had pure crystals, and according to friends, 'friends' and pillreports.com all the xtc pills I ever had contained only or predominantly MDMA.

 

[mrvn]

The O.P. Hits the nail on the head.
I did way to much this year, well not thats much @ once, but every weekend till the 7th of March,which was the last time, on partys. Lets say 1 gram of MDMA in 2-3 weeks and yep it totally fucked me up, again. I still feel not quite alright and still got the feeling that the entire universe is against me.... Its kinda fading but still present. But I have abused xtc before, stopped for a while, started again and before you know youre partying every weekend. Which isn't a problem, aslong as you don't take it every party...
Strange thing is, a lot of friends of my do a whole lot more than me and they say it doesn't bother them. I don't understand this, its definitly having really negative effects on me, while others can just go on and on and on.

 

[seminice]

Wow, I really feel better reading these replies actually. I would hate to end up seriously depressed, and I feel calmer knowing that it's something I most likely have got control of. And yes MRVN, I know plenty of people who use more XTC and MDMA than me but never expressed this problem (some ex-users did though). Looking back I can see though that they all have the mood swings and the heavy emotional reactions way more then I had before I used the stuff, Though I can't know for sure if it has anything to do with this drug or that they are naturally more inclined to do this.

Either way, XTC and MDMA (and related substances) are off my interest list now.