somehow totally agree with you man...
i only wanted to move to a better planet a lot of the time also and i think it's actually possible.
don't give up yet. try to find out what your own dreams really are. rather focus on your own dreams and feeling. you want to go and find your own way. are you ready to let go of frustration and give in to astonishment? life itself can be a miracle, but yeah it's somehow as if you have to let it be a miracle and don't hold on to the frustration.
i think my life situation feels a bit similar to yours... it's like i am holding on to some shit that i don't even want. so maybe it's easier than you may think in some sense or so.
just be yourself. try to get a clearer view of how much the frustration "really" makes sense or so. in addition to that don't let them tell you how you feel too much if at all!!!!!... try to see which people have good intentions and which not. maybe something like that..
a bit like healthy common sense.
you're not alone. god, the force, the all-creator, love, etc etc or so is there, if you allow it to be there, as paradox as it may sound. well sure somehow it's there anyway...i guess i just don't know a good way yet of saying it, but it's somehow the truth. it's a bit like your own thoughts and feelings are real for yourself and that's what somehow matters. that your thoughts and feelings in some sense create your reality, so if you can just steer them in a better direction, instead of for example just shutting the thoughts off like some people say they do. you have more power than you were made to believe.
maybe ask yourself honestly "are you angry or are you sad?" what does it really feel like?? are you more or less unknowingly having a priority in order to explain how you feel instead of just really feeling how you feel? if you can't explain to others how you feel what do you think is the best thing or at least a good thing to do then? maybe sometimes explaining is more difficult than showing or something like that? do you know what it means to decide whether you have a decision at all and what that could mean?
i'm just telling you that anything is possible. maybe you can do more than you may think.. free your mind. just don't get me wrong, please. maybe really try music. or in general just art...
sometimes in times of crisis we can find out who we "really" are?? not 100% sure.
in my own experience with telekinesis it was like, the more i tried, the less i succeeded.
not sure whether it's a good point to mention that, but maybe it makes a little bit sense or so. also i would say a fight against yourself is a fight you can't win. hmmm hope that makes sense lol... just some words on a computer-screen, alright... :heart:
peace