"It seems like everyone's either sleep-walking through their waking state or wake-walking through their dreams."
I'm not cut out to live a life made by society and ruled by the government. I don't want riches, material goods, fame anymore than a pretty flower, and certainly won't waste my life attempting to obain the formers.
Perhaps this is why I feel so isolated from general society, or at least my particular economic tier, and why I can't comprehend most people's overall actions. I'm no sociopath, though, I hurt with those I love, and don't live for thrills. I have a conscience, and have grown it all my life. I don't even damage insects, unless they hurt me, for respect of their life.
All I want out of this life is permanent "enlightenment", though what that means I'm not completely sure of, or can describe very well. Religious enlightnment is not what I mean, at least not from most religions in today's world; I mean enlightenment in a spirtual-perennial sense.
Enlightenment means the deconstruction of all external characteristics, all preconceived notions and ideas, becoming simply a sentient being, and nothing more. Perfectly aware. I've gotten to this point a few times during my short life, but easily forget it being consumed with my ideals, objectives and other people around me, but for it to become permanent, or, even better, something I can slip in and out of on command represents a great challenge with great rewards.
However, people whose opinions I greatly respect have said that doing this is not a noble goal in and of itself, it is what you do with enlightenment that counts. And, to that question, I come up blank. I have no idea what to do with my life aside from this. To simply make money through a clear mind is daft, as I have no idea how to put that money to good use, and the collection of knowledge is in the same state. What's the good in knowing something if it's not going to change something for the better?
So, is my life going to wasted? Is society right in saying that I'm screwing up my life?
In societal terms, I'd say that I am, but that does not mean anything. I wouldn't mind being a half-recluse, taking only artistic and intellectual creations and live outside of society, contributing what I come by, which might not be much of anything at all, unless, of course, they actively seek out in my brain my discoveries.
But this does not answer my question: what to produce?
I'm not cut out to live a life made by society and ruled by the government. I don't want riches, material goods, fame anymore than a pretty flower, and certainly won't waste my life attempting to obain the formers.
Perhaps this is why I feel so isolated from general society, or at least my particular economic tier, and why I can't comprehend most people's overall actions. I'm no sociopath, though, I hurt with those I love, and don't live for thrills. I have a conscience, and have grown it all my life. I don't even damage insects, unless they hurt me, for respect of their life.
All I want out of this life is permanent "enlightenment", though what that means I'm not completely sure of, or can describe very well. Religious enlightnment is not what I mean, at least not from most religions in today's world; I mean enlightenment in a spirtual-perennial sense.
Enlightenment means the deconstruction of all external characteristics, all preconceived notions and ideas, becoming simply a sentient being, and nothing more. Perfectly aware. I've gotten to this point a few times during my short life, but easily forget it being consumed with my ideals, objectives and other people around me, but for it to become permanent, or, even better, something I can slip in and out of on command represents a great challenge with great rewards.
However, people whose opinions I greatly respect have said that doing this is not a noble goal in and of itself, it is what you do with enlightenment that counts. And, to that question, I come up blank. I have no idea what to do with my life aside from this. To simply make money through a clear mind is daft, as I have no idea how to put that money to good use, and the collection of knowledge is in the same state. What's the good in knowing something if it's not going to change something for the better?
So, is my life going to wasted? Is society right in saying that I'm screwing up my life?
In societal terms, I'd say that I am, but that does not mean anything. I wouldn't mind being a half-recluse, taking only artistic and intellectual creations and live outside of society, contributing what I come by, which might not be much of anything at all, unless, of course, they actively seek out in my brain my discoveries.
But this does not answer my question: what to produce?