Introduction of Myself

[Ramses]

Hello, I'm a teenager from Austin, Texas. I joined this forum due to my obsession with psychedelic drugs and their abilities; and due to my need to converse with like-minded people about these curious substances. I'm an avid user of drugs- all kinds really, but hallucinogenics are by far my most favored: LSD, Shrooms, 2C-I, 2C-E, Salvia, DMT, DXM- the list goes on.

I'm somewhat a nihilist, a skeptical one though; I believe in the belief of believing in nothing. I'm most interested in the subject of metaphysics, and have studied a great deal behind it. Philosophically, I wish to be a bohemian, traveling place to place, drifting to and fro throughout our strange world. Yet today I stay trapped behind the grips of society, waiting patiently for the moment to diverge. I am a very unstable person though, and often have bouts of extreme mania surrounding my constant introspective analyzing of existence. I tend to revel in the bizarre, finding refuge in the strange, weird people/doings of the world. Sometimes I fear for my sanity, but I write and draw to preserve it's flimsy structure. I also read a great amount of interesting literature.

I will share a number of trip reports I have written throughout my experiences, and hopefully have good conversation with a good number of you.

 

[itsscience]

Hello Ramses and welcome.

Believing in nothing sounds utterly exhausting and it's something I've never been able to understand. To take nihilism to its Nth degree, you must be startled by the sun rising every morning because you don't belive in the sun, the planets, the solar system etc. Turning on the tap and have water come out must be terrifying because you don't believe in the water system that runs through your town or the government that controls it or the economy surrounding it. Belief and non-belief, in my opinion, require the same thing - faith.

Being Bohemian, in the manner you suggest, would be fantastic unless you have no money in which case you'll just be a bum (take for instance the conversation between Vincent Vega and Jules Pitt) and won't be able to afford the psychedelics that you love. Of course saving up the money you will need to be Bohemian will require a decent job (or a long time in a shit job) which will require education and living in the system that you want to rebel from - which in turn will require you to believe in something.

I am a very unstable person though, and often have bouts of extreme mania surrounding my constant introspective analyzing of existence

To steal a quote from Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in awhile you may miss it". I've recently separated from my wife and one of the reasons we fell into difficulties was due to her penchant for constantly analysing our relationship - to the point where she was no longer experiencing our relationship merely analysing it (a bit like a counsellor/shrink can analyse your life/experiences but the shrink can never experience your life). In fact constantly analysing existence is completely un-nihilistic because you don't believe in existence, or your own analyses thereof. I say pull your eyes out of your navel and just live and experience - forget about whether you should or shouldn't believe in something just do.

If as a teenager you can't just enjoy your experiences without analysing them to death then there aint too much to look forward to in adult life (unless you can break the prison of your mind that you seem to be currently experiencing).

I apologise if I'm coming across as being too judgmental but I'm truly amazed at the number of young people who come onto this board seeming to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders - there's plenty of time for that crap later - youth is wasted on the young etc - just get out there and do - the why's can be left for later.....much later.

 

[Ramses]

You misjudge my nihilism. It's the belief of the absence of purpose or meaning behind our existence, our morals, and so on- it's not the belief of non-existence behind our physical realm . I take nihilism and accept it happily, I'm not in constant fear of things I've become accustomed to existing, I know the sun rises every morning. I do not know the reasoning behind it, but I've come to accept it's presence. I'm not terrified of these things because I even question the existence of fear, and analyze it's nature as a simple emotion- a sensation created by my own mind.

As for my analytical nature, that tends to come naturally to me. When I see a leaf, I wonder what it's composed of, what possibilities lie within it. I'm not cursed with the tendency to analyze, I'm simply a curious person who tries to think beyond our given knowledge and science. As for bohemianism, it's not something I plan to be my entire life. I just want to drift from place to place and leave the constant repetition I've been born into for awhile. Yes, I probably won't have much money, but I am confident that I could survive somehow; I'll just feed off of society's underbelly. I don't need psychedelic drugs to enlighten myself, but I can see myself blending in with a similar crowd of druggies with whom I'll dwell into hallucinogenics. Or maybe not, that's the excitement of becoming a bohemian, you can't predict the future, it's not as set and stable as normal life. It's not for everybody, but I imagine it'll suit my person well.

Thanks for the conversation though, just by seeing your reply I'm confident in the intelligence of the members here.

 

[itsscience]

I have clearly misinterpreted nihilism.

There's a part of me that would want nothing more than to lead a bohemian lifestyle and for a brief period of time I did, albeit using money given by my parents and partially saved by me, perhaps it's the having had a taste and then having the reality of our current system of society ground me that makes me such a realist or pessimist about it.

I hope you find some inspiration around here.

 

[ophiuchus]

hey.

you should check out zen/tao, i was always a very curious boy and took a stance similar to yours for a while too ramses, and it has led me here as this far goes (not a typo). this road is certainly not the "easy" one, but this is not to say that it's the "hard" one either. hope you enjoy your visit here.

 

[Schwanke668]

hey.

you should check out zen/tao, i was always a very curious boy and took a stance similar to yours for a while too ramses, and it has led me here as this far goes (not a typo). this road is certainly not the "easy" one, but this is not to say that it's the "hard" one either. hope you enjoy your visit here.

The road is the road. Whether you take it or it takes you. Its still the road your traveling on and will take you to your destination.



Or as my dad likes to say when we discuss predestination vsus free will. A person can only make the decision that they want to make. They are never truly forced to do anything. A person could choose if they really wanted to to sit in the same place for eternity and starve and dehidrate themselves to death. To do anything else is by choice and to stay in that position is also by choice.

Or as i used to use in college. You cant even use the phrase "someone put a gun to my head" cuz you could still choose to sit there and let them pull the trigger.

Then of course their is the girl in texas that the boy shooter in school put a gun to her head and said "Would you die for your God" and she said "Yes" and he pulled the trigger. (Though I've been told that one may have been an urban legend but it still proves the point.)

The road always takes us to our destination. The question is. Is it the destination we intended or have we instead learned to allow ourselves to be carried by the road and enjoy the traveling.

Sorry I'm high lol. Forgive me lol. Try not to hijack any more threads tonight lol.