Intro to me and My Story with Drugs

[EndlessEntity]

Hello
so I'm going to introduce myself and explain my trek through the world of drugs. might be kinda long shouldn't be too bad.
ok

When i was younger i always noticed my dad and grandpa getting high and i knew they were doing something that was not socially acceptable. they'd always go in the back room and lock it up or they'd go in the back yard and go to the shed. i always wondered what they were doing and when i was about 5-6 i walked in the room and saw my grandpa handing my dad a qp of shwag. as i grew up i kinda wondered what their secret habit was about. but then in 7th grade in my health class i was taught about drugs and alcohol but mainly i was taught about marijuana. well.... lol taught what the school wanted me to think which was a total crock of bullshit. anyway from that day i knew what my dad was up to. so i went home, went to my dads shed knowing that they wouldn't be coming home for hours. i didn't invite any friends
i wanted to make this trek alone

i was afraid my teacher would be right and i would go crazy or something or become addicted, but as a young psychonaut, i was determined to expose this other reality that i was being told to stay away from.
soo i ventured into my dad's shed and it wasn't long before i found his "treasure chest" and his purple pipe. i threw some of the crumbs he had at the bottom into his pipe grabbed his lighter, torched it, and started breathing in. i hadn't ever even had a cigarette before. or alcohol. after a couple hits that had me coughing like crazy i decided I'd better put everything up and go inside. when i went inside i noticed i felt giggly and i felt as if a transparent curtain had fallen over everything. Immediately i decided i liked this feeling. i didn't feel stupid, i didn't feel crazy, i felt awesome, i felt new and fuzzy and my mind was roaming to new places. It even makes tummy aches go away lol.
so from that day on i was a pot head.

Then i discovered their liquor cabinet.. not much to be said here. 12 years old and stealing my parents vodka and drinking it straight. with friends or by myself i just loved to experience these different altered states of mind.

Ok, so by age 13-14 i was drinking, getting high, and i had my first whole cigarette...
it didn't take long for me to start doing these things habitually. All my friends did it, i even got some of my friends to try pot who hadn't tried it before, like my friend Lacey. She loved it and was my tokin buddy after that.
for years I'd steal pot from my dad and his cigs and alcohol, but then i got into high school
and i discovered dealers.

My first dealer was a fellow classmate Nick C. he brought me a blunt for 5$. So my tokin buddy Lacey and i waited until dark and headed to up to the park and proceeded to get blown. As the year progressed we indulged quite a bit and became stoners. I went to parties got high and drunk and smoked my cigs and i felt like a badass. Later that year my friend Ian had his dad saying he was crazy and out of control and so he was sent to a psychiatrist and prescribed lexipro and xanax and some other shit. I remember the first day i took a Xanax, i was in school and as soon as it kicked in i went to the nurse complaining of nausea and went to sleep. lol.

Later that year Ian brought some of his Zoloft's and Lexipro's to school. i decided "sure i would love to feel happy," and took 3-4 of his lexipro which i assumed were low mg... this was my first accidental O.D. by the time i got to algebra i was turning red, sweating and shaking. I did not feel happy at all. I went to the bathroom and puked my brains out in the next class and started to feel a little better. Even so, this experience gave me my first scare from drugs. Other than drinking too much alcohol which people to all the time, i had taken too many pills and O.D.'d, the shock of my inappropriate activities finally ran home. I realized i was a delinquent, a rapscallion. I started talking back to my teachers, skipping class, showing up high, even smoking up in the bathrooms or behind the school or w/e. I turned bad. lol...

In 10th grade, i met ecstasy for the first time. i guy in my English class was selling yellow "tabs" with xxx on them. He asked me if i was interested in buying one for 15$. Once he asked for 15$ i realized that he was in it for the money, and couldn't be trusted. But he explained what the pills did and said i should just eat half of one at first then eat the other half later. So i went home, waited for everyone to pass out and chewed half my tab. it was bitter and disgusting (which i later found out is a determining factor in testing a tabs purity) i almost spat it out, but i kept it down and started playing starcraft until i felt it. After a while colors got more vivid and i felt loving and i felt as if the world was racing around me and my mind was going a million miles a minute. I started calling ALL my friends even though it was like 2am. And after this i spiraled off into other drug cultures. I learned about rave's and coke and meth... i learned about oxyconton.

Luckily i was always aware of a couple of my friends getting hooked bad on some things, so i always had a good willpower and never did TOO much of anything. Late in the year in 10th grade i brought weed to school. I was outside smoking a cigarette with my girlfriend and a principal ran up on us. I socked my sack as soon as he looked away, but when i got to the principals office the cops searching my stuff found a foil pipe. They looked at me in the eyes and said the words that changed my life.... "take off your shoes"

My Dad who was a pot head as well completely understood my plight and started tokin with me, but told me Never to tell my mom, actually, now that i think about it, i was smoking with my dad before i got caught. After i got caught my mom found out about everything. My dad started hitting me and locking me in my room and my mom and dad started arguing everynight... within 2 weeks they were divorced and i felt that it was my fault. I felt my 3 brothers and sister all hated me. That i was the fuck up of the family. i started taking more x and doing more coke, weed, alcohol. I never really got into meth or crack, luckily. I tried Meth but saw its destructive and addictive potential and never tried it again.

My mom left my dad who had been hitting her and me but none of the other kids and had me drive everyone across town to her fathers house. We lived there for a while, and it was hard for me to get a lot of drugs, but i still managed to get them, being 16 with a license and a car. A couple months passed by and my dad bought a new house not too far from our old house, and my mom was able to move back into the old house. Yay i didnt have to drive an hour to get to alternative school anymore lol.

So i got caught with pot. It had only been a couple grams but still. i did probation, classes, community service, the whole nine yards, which was VERY traumatizing for a young 16 year old. But somehow, being the bad rapscallion maverick renegade that i was, none of this information meant anything. I decided they were wrong and not me. I continued my exploits without intention of letting up, only with the intention of keeping a lower profile. I had to go to an alternative school with all the gangs and drug users. Being a tall skinny blue eyed white hippy/metalhead (yea... i know...) white boy i felt rather out of place, but was comforted because my girlfriend who got caught with me was also there.

I met another friend named Nick and he was deemed Big nick while Nick C. was deemed Lil' Nick. One day they, and another friend named Spencer, gave me some triple c's and i took 10 that night. Before too long i was taking triple c's in school and tripping hard on them. I was sneaking out my window at night and going to raves and parties every weekend and sometimes in the week. my first job was at Sonic. It sucked but it empowered me to buy more drugs.

One day in alternative school a boy named kieth (who was famous for snorting a line of oxyconton before school, then 2 hours later catching a nosebleed and passing out) died from heart failure due to his oxyconton use. He was only 16 when he died. He was never really a friend of mine but i knew the guy. I'd never heard of someone i knew dying from drugs until then.

Even so after that i just got worse and worse. My girlfriend and i would skip school and roll and have sex all day. Life was great, but my grades were on a steep decline. Now I'm not arrogant, but from what i see of my peers, i happen to be a pretty smart guy. i knew quite a few morons to boost my self esteem. i made all A's in school until i started skipping classes.
But even so my grades were slipping.

In 11th grade i got off my probation, and moved to my dad's. I thought he had changed and that i had changed. He got me a job at a steel mill cutting and labeling large titanium pipes. we would come home and get blown together every day on the hour (you know the hour). One thing i never mentioned is that my dad makes like 6 figures. I happen to be poor as shit but my dads rich as fuck.. one thing that's different between us, i see the need in money, but don't care about having A lot of money, i care more about happiness, meditation, staying in shape, making music, searching my mind, w/e. the point is, my dad and I are Very alike and VERY different. For a while it was great. And then we had the family reunion... a day that will live on in horror for all of my families history... lol there's no way i can express to... whoever might be reading this shit how this shit went down... lol ok

I lived in Houston so the family reunion was in Galveston on the gulf. They had rented a beach house and invited All the relatives on my dad's side, and my dad's new girlfriend, anyway there were a lot of people there. My girlfriend Elena and i took like 5-6 xanax each before the reunion. i was pretty out of it but Elena was Fucked up bad. Everyone knew she was completely fucked up. we ran out of the beach house and went porch to porch swiping peoples beers, acting like morons. When we got back to the beach house our relatives told us there had been cops looking for people stealing that had come to the door while we were gone, so we had to hide out in the beach house for a while. later that night i got into a huge argument with my dad. He called me a degenerate and a fuck up and all this other shit and i told his new girlfriend (soon to be wife) that he gave my mom a black eye, which he denies to this day.

When we got back home in Houston my dad gave me an Ultimatum: give him all my money, my car, bank card, etc. Or go across town to Pasadena and live with my Mom. Of course, having over a thousand dollars and a full tank of gas in my shitty little 97' altima i drove to my Mom's

The "beach house incident" happened in the summer after my 11th grade year. So getting kicked out of my dad's i had to go to a new school in Pasadena. this new school had a lot of people and was more packed then my old school. i quickly found a source for my habits. A problem that arose was that on the other side of town where i was used to going to school you need 22 credits to graduate. but in Pasadena apparently you need 24. Being in my senior year i didn't have enough time to make this up. so after 2 weeks of Pasadena Memorial High School (and probably a collective week of skipping school) I was transferred to Tegler Career Center where you work at your own pace so you can squeeze more credits in a semester. At first i was doing good. i finished English 4 in 2 weeks. finished government and economics in 3 weeks.

Then i met Dustin. He loved to blaze and was an everyday smoker like me. He sold x and dro so i got to know him very well. So one fucked up day, Dustin calls me and asks for a ride to school, so i pick him up and naturally we blaze a spliff on the way. When we got to school the attendance lady was about to let us in but the councilor stopped us. she said "Nuh-uhh yall boys don't smell right!" stupid bitch... Cops were called, we were searched. Dustin was let go. Then they said i looked high. they took my jacket and my pants and scraped all the lent together... they found a Spec of weed that they said was proof enough of the smell and my red eyes. Not enough for a possession charge but enough for the school to expel me.

My first alternative school was called High point. My second alternative school was called The Summit. And everyone at both of these schools liked to maintain a high altitude if you know what i mean. There was the gangsters and the preps and then a few weirdo's kinda like me, but having good connections and being a smart guy that the dumbass thugs cheated off of, i got along with everyone. This school was close to my house which was better than last time. I would drive my car up there and get high before school like an idiot. One day the dogs smelled something in my car and i was asked to step out of class by the police. They searched my car and found several roaches. The cop felt sorry for me and knew i was extremely close to graduating so he didn't charge me with possession, they just suspended me from school... suspended me from alternative school...

Two weeks later i graduated high school. My parents were ecstatic. it was a miracle.

But i was still up to no good.

The summer after i graduated i had a lot of money build up from graduation presents and decided to take a road trip with Dustin and Lacey. We bought 2oz', some xo's and a buncha blunts for the trip. We trekked it all the way to dallas and got a motel, where lacey saw her girlfriend and we all took the x. That night, i shattered a new bong, and for the first time had a bad feeling on ecstasy. I felt awful, i kept shaking and sweating, it sucked. Dustin was like "man are you alright?" to which i answered "Y-y-y-y-y-ea man im f-f-f-f-Uckin F-f-f-Fine, How B-b-bout you?" I was not fine. I experienced what others referred to as "rolling yourself out" where you've had x so many times that it doesn't appeal to you anymore. It just made ma feel uncomfortable. So i stopped taking x.

While hanging out in that same summer with some friends I'd met at Memorial high school i took several bars and drank 2 40's. Everyone at the party I went to said I was Soooo fucked up. Instead of being cool people and letting me pass out or even letting me lay in the grass and puke till i fell asleep. They decided I was too fucked up and that I had to DRIVE MYSELF HOME. Fuckin assholes. Lucky for me i don't remember ANY of the drive but i woke up in my bed the next morning and saw my car out my window which was fine. This experience drove me away from bars (xanax).

So I just smoked Weed and drank every now and then but I still felt like i wanted to try something new. One day, guitar hero in hand i showed up to Dustin's apartment with a half oz of shwag in my pocket ready to jam (on expert btw ) and i noticed that his door was open. Confused as I was I stepped in and was quickly pounced on by Truancy officer Beavis and Butthead, who searched me without consent and without grounds and charged me with possession that they said i admitted to having, even though i remained silent the whole time. Why were there officers in Dustin's house? He had an unpaid Truancy ticket. And they were just stopping by to collect... Dustin watched me get wheeled away not in a cop car but in the officers shitty black Toyota camry. I was in Harris county jail for about 25 hours but not before the officers picked up some other guys with me in the car. I did Probation AGAIN, community service AGAIN, and quit weed for a while.
i was doing good. I got a job at wal-mart changing tires and oil and got an apartment with a friend from work and Big Nick. I didnt smoke pot, just cigarettes, and i drank beer. for the whole 9 month term of the probation. I would purchase weed for my room mates, roll them joints, break out the seeds and stems, everything but smoke it. Needless to say, it sucked.

I started meditating (I'm agnostic Buddhist) and my mom teaches Yoga and 8th grade math, but i didn't wanna take yoga, she just taught me about her meditation and about Buddhism. I started thinking in new perspectives and developing mental awareness that i didn't have before. I got interested in politics, psychology, theology and later chemistry (which i will explain more as i go). I watched zeitgeist and was moved by it but not BLOW away like alot of the other people, i wanted to get involved and help the movement against the banking cartels but i was still just a naive 18 year old.

Feeling real fuckin crazy one day i went over to Dustin's house where he introduced me to something that would change my life and perspective forever. LSD. Even now I wish I had some. My first trip wasn't too intense but I did have profound visual effects that I fell in love with instantaneously. The main thing that caught my attention was the way it opened my mind. It made me conscious of what, who, when, and where i was. The world made sense to me.

Shrooms were not too bad but i always had bad experiences with trying to get them or trying to get good ones. one time Luke and I bought a gallon sized back filled with shrooms for 50$ and after my room mate ate 1/4 of the bag he started trippin hard. He said that I had, around me, 2 auras of cascading muffins around me, one spinning clockwise the other counterclockwise one on top the other. I ate the other 3/4's of the bag, didnt feel shit.... made all the rest of the stems into shroom tea... didnt feel shit... went and bought another giant bag, but this time he only charged me 20 cuz i didn't trip we ate all those, and made the stems into tea... once again my room mate tripped balls but i felt nothing... So i gave up on shrooms for a while

So after a while i got off my second probation. The day i got off my friends brought a buncha dro over and i toked till i was completely comatose. We made a giant gravity bong out of a 10 gallon Ozarka Bucket. Lol i couldnt even move for like 2-3 days.

I was happy again that i could take my acid and smoke my weed. The only thing i hated was my stupid job at wal-mart.

One day Dustin drove by and threw me a couple hits of acid out of his window, he said to hold onto it until Friday, when we were planning to trip. So i held onto the cid, it was like 4 hits. on blotters, just little squares of paper with lines on it, i'd had buddha blotters before, i'd had yoda blotters, and blotters were always MUCH more preferable to me than sweet tarts or micro dots or sugar cubes. These blotters though were stronger than all others I'd had. When Friday came around i have an extreme crazy trip of the likes I'd never experienced before. The trees were exploding Lego's and Tiki Heads and fireballs and it was intense, everything was moving, i felt like i could tell the future. Super intense. And we went around town smoking dro and tripping balls. until we got to Greg's house, where we had some White Rhino. Upon exhaling the white rhino a thousand tiny laser lines would streak across my vision and the original tracers that i had would extend much farther. Time to leave i stood up and got light headed. the walls started flooding in around me, all i could see was crazy grinning clown faces and spiraling patterns of Tiki heads and little elves and devils :evil: . I reached a point where i couldn't see the real world anymore, Dustin describes my face as "Eyes open but completely vacant,". I was overwhelmed i fell on my ass and had to shake my had back and forth a bit to anchor myself in reality. So we left and wend back to Dustin's apartment, Almost got Pulled over by the cops 3 times that night. Sure would suck to go to jail on Lucy. But we got back safe and had Taco Cabana. Even now when i look back on this trip in retrospect I shudder, it was so intense, i cant help but look at these chemicals with an intimidated awe and fear, yet still be interested. :wink:

Another profound trip i had me and Nick were waiting for our Buddha Blotters to kick in and thought it would be cool to turn all the lights in the apartment off, put on sunglasses, and throw glow sticks at each other. It was pretty cool until Luke Capped his girlfriend in the Dome, she quickly emasculated him and dragged him to her house. Funniest thing I've ever seen. I never got along with his girl and seeing her get domed with a glow stick i fucking lost it and started cracking up on my balcony. As soon as they left, me and nick felt the acid kick in. I was hiding behind the futon, waiting for nick to enter the room so i could nail him with a glow stick, and nick was in his room waiting for me to enter so he could get me. lol so we both thought we'd wait the other out. Laying behind the futon for about a half an hour i started melting into the rug and viewed life from the perspective of a puddle. Then i entered the room and couldn't see nick, until i turned to leave and he jumped out from behind the doorway, shrieked like some kind of Indian and pounced on me. We fought and wrestled until we ended up in the Luke's closet where we smoke weed and Nick broke the green glow stick in his teeth. As soon as the liquid neon shit spurted out of the glow stick he started spraying it all over me and all over the closet. I washed my skin off but kept it on my cloths because it looked cool lol. When we went back into the closet to smoke later that night, we had forgotten that he sprayed the entire closet with that shit, and when we went in there, lit up a joint, and turned off the lights, the neon on the walls lit up like the night sky, and i lost myself in its beauty as it morphed and flowed. For the rest of the night i just played with my reality, laying there listening to The Black Angels, or Pink Floyd, or Tool.

I've always been a HUGE Tool fan, saw them in concert not too long ago. I've always known their stance on a drug called DMT, but i had never tried DMT or heard of anyone i knew trying it, I'd never come across it on the streets, and none of my friends knew what it was or what it did, or even whether it was safe. So i researched, like i do the politics and the psychology and the things I'm interested in. I started studying the chemistry of it and everything about it. Reading things like "The Spirit Molecule" and hearing about Joe Rogan and Terence Mckenna. I studied more than just what it did, i studied the chemical nature of it. How easy it is to extract/synthesize became very clear to me. While a lot is still unkown about this chemical, i feel i have a strong grasp on current human knowledge of the substance. I started studying entheogens and speculating on the different layers of consciousness, on the "Sacred Geometry" of everything.

The first time I tried it I was being a pussy. I had a good sized hit but my room quickly started moving around and my Einstein poster stuck his tongue out at me which freaked me out so i let the smoke out. I had heard that it was more intense than acid but lasted a lot shorter time. I had also read that many people encounter Aliens/Entities/Elves/Lizards/Owls etc. This was very interesting to me. How all these different people could trip and all have a similar experience even though all these people are different. Needless to say i yearned for an experience like this. I had had collective experiences on acid with friends, the feeling of sharing minds or being one consciousness, but this seemed different. I read about the DMT threshold. How if you take a little hit, you get nothing. A medium hit, and minimal tracers. A large hit, and you see the chrysanthemum patterns and everything moves and you have more introspection, the room starts to close in on itself and you have crazy hallucinations but you don't actually "leave this realm" until you reach a "threshold hit".

I was Determined to "Break through" to "hyperspace" so I took a huge hit and held it in. I felt I was rushed through a tunnel and the chrysanthemum patterns that made up the reality around me were revealed as energy patterns, the energy patterns that also make up the world i was transferred to through the tunnel. I arrived in the other world with a giant being looming over me. It was Alien to me, not a human being not a material being, an energy being in the form of a female cooking, it was made of hexagonal patterns and gave off a maroon colored glow and it flew up endlessly and down endlessly. It was a never ending energy being that was tending to my earthly material soul and when i tried to look past the being i could see other souls being tended to by their beings. And right before i started fading away the being emanated a wave of reassuring love that flowed through me like a wave. I felt as if i was always welcome in this new realm, whenever i decided to venture into it. Then i heard "The Black Angles" playing, and realized i was in a human body, in a human room, listening to human music. I saw my body below me, and my music got louder as i neared my body. Upon the re-integration of my mind and body i started breathing again and opened my eyes.

Since then I've had other crazy experiences on this chemical. I don't smoke pot anymore as I'm currently awaiting my ship date to Boot camp... I am still very much interested in psychedelics for entheogenic purposes but my drugged out fuck up days are over. Its been over a year since i had a cigarette, and several months since i smoked the fine herb. I try to keep my body in shape, and i keep my mind in shape. I don't hang out with either of the nick's anymore because they never matured, they still run around drinking and driving and popping bars and robbing people and shit like that. But, i feel like my life is moving in a good direction.

October 2nd 2010, I will be 21 years old. I've never been a heavy drinker but i wouldn't oppose to knocking a couple back on my birthday

And that folks is (most of) my story. Hope the ones that stuck it through liked it.

(none of this ever happened the people referred to and myself do not really exist.)