Insight on a strong childhood memory

[IJesusChrist]

This post will hopefully be the last post directly about me, I hate talking about myself. I'd like to stop. But here:

When I was young, as long as I could remember I had this thing, and it slowly got weaker and weaker with age. I remember my mother telling me I listened to GreenSleeves at one point before I was able to talk, so around 1 year old, and I started balling. She said she hadn't seen me cry like that over nothing ever. It was the song.

I remember listenening to "Zombie" by the Cranberries when I was about 5 or 6. I started crying. I was completely in control but I wanted to destroy everything I saw. I wanted to kill everything. I ran from one end of the room to another, I grabbed a pillow and started punching it, punching punching punching until I collapsed.

Soon I realized it wasn't just music, it was places. I remember being at my Uncle's hous, way out in the country. I was staring at the woods, it was almost a straight fence line of trees. Pitch black, the moon and stars were out, but the forest was pitch black. I imagined something walking out, and I started to tear up. My nose began to tingle, almost sting. My nose began to run.

Ahhh as I'm writing this it is happening again.

I stood there, and started breathing heavily. I turned around and ran. Guaranteed I could never run that fast again. I collapsed on the ground when I was done running and went back inside.

These occurences when I was young were daily, then weekly, then monthly, now it seems they are yearly.

I'm not really sure what it is. I told my mom about it when I was very young, she told me it had something to do with past lives. I didn't know if I belived it but it really made sense at the time.

One of those days I listened to "Zombie" on repeat for atleast an hour. That was one hell of a toll on my glands.

 

[IJesusChrist]

fuck I meant to put this in the lounge

 

[magickmumu]

You may hate to write about yourself, I don't mind reading it and it's interesting.
Is what you are experiencing some kind of uncontrolled emotional energy?
Or is it something else.

 

[Forkbender]

[moved to lounge]

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

I had similar experiences, I would cry for hours without end because of the "ammares" which would land on my window to take and experiment upon me.

This is a classical ET abduction experience, which is a matricial glitch, your mother did have the good intuition, however its not a past life, its a "parallel-matrix" life overlapping.

This glitch is the reason the illuminati are releasing their grasp on global control, they now realise their error in trying to centralise the free web, which is good news if you would like to see it that way. It's kind of ironic because their spider bodied god with a human, cat and frog head they venerate as the free soul, and yet they tried to control its web just like it was their own creation. I allow myself to find this funny because they are supposed to be "in the know" after all. And now their own god is angry at them... it'll be interesting to see how they fix it up.

EFT will help you release those triggers... don't kid yourself this is not an ordinary "I don't want to sleep without mommy" kind of whining. I lived it first hand and I remember being terrified until I would drop of exhaustion... but I was a thin and weak kid so I never felt agressive, but I remember troubling my mother alot and I was only 4 years old, and it was all of a sudden while I had no fear at all sleeping on my own, I even enjoyed it already.

http://www.emofree.com/ (yes the e-book is free, thats all you really need)

I hope you can recover fluidly, it took me about 10 sessions to release my pain about those experiences, so it's very effiscient and you can hope for a quick healing !

 

[IJesusChrist]

It is some sort of emotional trigger. But the tigger seemed to be everything.

My theories are that either they were of memories I had before I was conscious, or as y consciousness was gaining imput. Dark alley ways, woods, the sky at night, interesting they all seem to be dark.

The thing is, I'm not crying out of fear, or pain. It is almost as if I am just crying. I never disliked or liked the feeling, it was in no way negative. I kind of wish I had it back.

I really like posting about it because it seems to be bringing it back every time. My eyes are wet right now...

It isn't as strong as it used to be. I just remember wanting to explode, to jump as high as I could, past mars, and explode, everything.

Needless to say, some of the times were easily the strongest emotions I have felt.

 

[Ahuaeynjxs]

It's very common in our emotionally repressed society to thrive on strong emotions, it releases the grasp some evil mushrooms (like candida) has on our body turning us into invincible super-zombies...

But the bigger picture is more complex than this, there are those demons who would bargain from your emotional surges as you direct the energy towards entropy instead of balance, this is mostly due to the mystical source of those emotions.

It is my opinion that it is better to release those triggers completely and find the same intensity of emotion in the love for another human, or nature, or hope ; and keep those negative emotions for when you have a more stable focus, like a musical instrument, or a brush, or a sculpting tool. This way instead of giving away your energy to the time lords you might produce something more acessible to all of us.

 

[tryptonaut]

This post will hopefully be the last post directly about me, I hate talking about myself. I'd like to stop. But here:

When I was young, as long as I could remember I had this thing, and it slowly got weaker and weaker with age. I remember my mother telling me I listened to GreenSleeves at one point before I was able to talk, so around 1 year old, and I started balling. She said she hadn't seen me cry like that over nothing ever. It was the song.

I remember listenening to "Zombie" by the Cranberries when I was about 5 or 6. I started crying. I was completely in control but I wanted to destroy everything I saw. I wanted to kill everything. I ran from one end of the room to another, I grabbed a pillow and started punching it, punching punching punching until I collapsed.

Soon I realized it wasn't just music, it was places. I remember being at my Uncle's hous, way out in the country. I was staring at the woods, it was almost a straight fence line of trees. Pitch black, the moon and stars were out, but the forest was pitch black. I imagined something walking out, and I started to tear up. My nose began to tingle, almost sting. My nose began to run.

Ahhh as I'm writing this it is happening again.

I stood there, and started breathing heavily. I turned around and ran. Guaranteed I could never run that fast again. I collapsed on the ground when I was done running and went back inside.

These occurences when I was young were daily, then weekly, then monthly, now it seems they are yearly.

I'm not really sure what it is. I told my mom about it when I was very young, she told me it had something to do with past lives. I didn't know if I belived it but it really made sense at the time.

One of those days I listened to "Zombie" on repeat for atleast an hour. That was one hell of a toll on my glands.

Albert Hofmann said in his book "LSD my problem child" that his first experience on lsd reminded him of having blissful "psychedelic" experiences like that as a child, and he believed all children have these experiences and we mostly forget about them when we grow up.
I think he's right.

I'm also having these kind of experiences from time to time that suddenly all my hairs stand up and I get the shivers and it feels great. This can be triggered by music (melodies and/or special sounds), smell, places, or faces.
Usually with faces we call that love at first sight when you see someone and you just can't stop looking and you're going crazy and don't know why exactly.

It's hard to tell where all this comes from, but I believe in memories being genetically inherited. Something like a "past life experience", only it's the past life of all our ancestors.