Mandelbrot
Neurotransmetteur
- Inscrit
- 6/1/10
- Messages
- 24
The other day, I administered my second dose of LSD, though my first experience with LSD without combination with any other entheogens. I felt a sudden urge to document my thoughts about three hours into the trip. This is what I wrote:
So I never get moods to write much of anything, so let's begin. I am walking along The Ocean Beach Highway, in a place just perfectly nested where the Pacific Ocean is neither too far, nor too near. In this very place, however, much chaos does rest. Ironically, it is just all too routine. This wasteland of such contains the trapped souls who many, both the conscious, and the unconscious sort, silently yearn for far more. While many of its inhabitants are caught up in the cycling routines they faithfully practice each and every day, few of them have a set routine. Some can lend their ear to a voice which whispers a seemingly otherwise pseudorandom pattern which in some way, lends them to achieve their balance in life. Of which sort I would consider myself to be, to this day remains a mystery. However, I am in no place to question my existence any further. The point is that I truly do exist within this giant Mandelbrot set of which we call "life". If you dare so wish to learn about the consciousness of my personal being, as the author of this wandering documentary of life, then please continue. However, if one may not to choose, I can respect your wishes as well, and I would advise you to skip forward to {insert page reference for the faint of heart who refuse to question authority, judgment, mankind, and even oneself}
I am one leaning upon a post on the corner of two streets. Stopped at a stop sign, as a pedestrian. I continue onwards when allowed. But then again, do we all? Or don't we all? Which do you prefer? It's dark, and I do see cars passing me as I walk. Either hurriedness, comfort, or simple laze is most likely what most of the drivers are feeling. Sometimes a slight sense of panic is necessary in society, in order to keep in line with established routines, however to onlookers such as myself, who is really aware? Will you ever be? When will you wake up? Think about that, why is your alarm set to that specific time? Do you wonder what it would like if you didn't wake up? What if that alarm was gone? Surely someone would call, right? If it was important, at least? Guess what? Your telephone is gone. So, what's next? Let's see what the news would have to say. It would surely be important news indeed, but why? Oh well, that doesn't matter. Your television eloped with the telephone...and car. And while you were outside, looking for their tracks, your home crept off from you. Now think of all the possibilities here. Pick one. Pick one and ask yourself. Why? Why do you have that? Why do you need it? Is possibly relative to any of your other needs? And furthermore, who am I to question you, or your perceived needs?
I have now paid my penance for temporary heat, shelter and wifi connectivity in my local Burger King. As if I am some artist, ha! Such is not the case. I myself, am not very well read on much more than common children's literature and reference. I have personally never much cared to read much fiction, nor nonfiction. As we all do, I limit myself. But this is not to say I'm going to begin reading The Odyssey. I have never cared much for literature. Or whatever anyone else has to say. We are all similarly narcissistic in such a form, whether we are conscious or not. However, knowing these truths about ourselves will shape who we are, and who we appear to others to be. In most cases, I would dare say that this shapes who we are. Kind of funny. The two seem to be very complementary of one another. I am no artist myself, mind you. I am just someone sitting out punching away at a small electronic device, like many others appear to be. Would you ever look at one and expect them to be writing something such as this? I dare say not, my friend. We always underestimate our common bystanders. Perhaps this is natural because overestimation leads to disappointment. We all have experienced this at one point or another in our lives. So many small events upon one's lifetime can mold everything. Like all, we have many common ones, however, we each possess equal to or greater than non-common events that shape who we are. Some traits we commonly agree are acceptable, and others not. We ourselves, as well as others impose these on us. We are all some percentage, ourselves, and for the remainder, we are everyone else. Why do we restrain our own kind, and ourselves? We share our life experiences and tell them to others, to guide them. But we also limit ourselves as a race, the same way. There is a trade off, just like with anything else. Some things you will be conditioned to be wary of from birth. Then there are the things that you can hear, but you just never learn until you scrape your knees and finally figure it out in the wild. So think about how many times, and in how many ways you could have metaphorically scraped your knees, but you didn't? You took everyone else's word. Not that I myself am one to question the word of another, but I do it no more than I question my own. Sometimes still, in my early adult age, I stray from the words of many, to experience for myself, what this world looks like through these poison sunglasses, smelling the burning things which some would consider unworthy of life, despite their equally innocent existence in this world we claim to be "our own". So, in the wild, I am now. If I've even reached it, that is. I have searched for it, I have been searching for it. Will I ever find it? Is the Mandelbrot set starting to become apparent? Existence is often mindless self-imposed endless loops that ultimately, make no real sense. But don't just take my word for it. I'm surely no better than anyone else I have spoken of. Go out into the wild. See for yourself. And like myself, live to tell the rest of us what you have found, what you have seen, and what you have conquered upon your return, regardless of whether you have any pride in it. After all, I don't think there is any ultimate point in pride, if it is only measured by the interests in others. I exist. Therefore I am. And if you don't like that, then here is what you should do: Go out into the wild, and inform me upon your return, if I am present.
There really is beauty to be found amongst chaos. You only have to know what perspective to take.
Now sit down and take your pebble.
-Mandelbrot.
So I never get moods to write much of anything, so let's begin. I am walking along The Ocean Beach Highway, in a place just perfectly nested where the Pacific Ocean is neither too far, nor too near. In this very place, however, much chaos does rest. Ironically, it is just all too routine. This wasteland of such contains the trapped souls who many, both the conscious, and the unconscious sort, silently yearn for far more. While many of its inhabitants are caught up in the cycling routines they faithfully practice each and every day, few of them have a set routine. Some can lend their ear to a voice which whispers a seemingly otherwise pseudorandom pattern which in some way, lends them to achieve their balance in life. Of which sort I would consider myself to be, to this day remains a mystery. However, I am in no place to question my existence any further. The point is that I truly do exist within this giant Mandelbrot set of which we call "life". If you dare so wish to learn about the consciousness of my personal being, as the author of this wandering documentary of life, then please continue. However, if one may not to choose, I can respect your wishes as well, and I would advise you to skip forward to {insert page reference for the faint of heart who refuse to question authority, judgment, mankind, and even oneself}
I am one leaning upon a post on the corner of two streets. Stopped at a stop sign, as a pedestrian. I continue onwards when allowed. But then again, do we all? Or don't we all? Which do you prefer? It's dark, and I do see cars passing me as I walk. Either hurriedness, comfort, or simple laze is most likely what most of the drivers are feeling. Sometimes a slight sense of panic is necessary in society, in order to keep in line with established routines, however to onlookers such as myself, who is really aware? Will you ever be? When will you wake up? Think about that, why is your alarm set to that specific time? Do you wonder what it would like if you didn't wake up? What if that alarm was gone? Surely someone would call, right? If it was important, at least? Guess what? Your telephone is gone. So, what's next? Let's see what the news would have to say. It would surely be important news indeed, but why? Oh well, that doesn't matter. Your television eloped with the telephone...and car. And while you were outside, looking for their tracks, your home crept off from you. Now think of all the possibilities here. Pick one. Pick one and ask yourself. Why? Why do you have that? Why do you need it? Is possibly relative to any of your other needs? And furthermore, who am I to question you, or your perceived needs?
I have now paid my penance for temporary heat, shelter and wifi connectivity in my local Burger King. As if I am some artist, ha! Such is not the case. I myself, am not very well read on much more than common children's literature and reference. I have personally never much cared to read much fiction, nor nonfiction. As we all do, I limit myself. But this is not to say I'm going to begin reading The Odyssey. I have never cared much for literature. Or whatever anyone else has to say. We are all similarly narcissistic in such a form, whether we are conscious or not. However, knowing these truths about ourselves will shape who we are, and who we appear to others to be. In most cases, I would dare say that this shapes who we are. Kind of funny. The two seem to be very complementary of one another. I am no artist myself, mind you. I am just someone sitting out punching away at a small electronic device, like many others appear to be. Would you ever look at one and expect them to be writing something such as this? I dare say not, my friend. We always underestimate our common bystanders. Perhaps this is natural because overestimation leads to disappointment. We all have experienced this at one point or another in our lives. So many small events upon one's lifetime can mold everything. Like all, we have many common ones, however, we each possess equal to or greater than non-common events that shape who we are. Some traits we commonly agree are acceptable, and others not. We ourselves, as well as others impose these on us. We are all some percentage, ourselves, and for the remainder, we are everyone else. Why do we restrain our own kind, and ourselves? We share our life experiences and tell them to others, to guide them. But we also limit ourselves as a race, the same way. There is a trade off, just like with anything else. Some things you will be conditioned to be wary of from birth. Then there are the things that you can hear, but you just never learn until you scrape your knees and finally figure it out in the wild. So think about how many times, and in how many ways you could have metaphorically scraped your knees, but you didn't? You took everyone else's word. Not that I myself am one to question the word of another, but I do it no more than I question my own. Sometimes still, in my early adult age, I stray from the words of many, to experience for myself, what this world looks like through these poison sunglasses, smelling the burning things which some would consider unworthy of life, despite their equally innocent existence in this world we claim to be "our own". So, in the wild, I am now. If I've even reached it, that is. I have searched for it, I have been searching for it. Will I ever find it? Is the Mandelbrot set starting to become apparent? Existence is often mindless self-imposed endless loops that ultimately, make no real sense. But don't just take my word for it. I'm surely no better than anyone else I have spoken of. Go out into the wild. See for yourself. And like myself, live to tell the rest of us what you have found, what you have seen, and what you have conquered upon your return, regardless of whether you have any pride in it. After all, I don't think there is any ultimate point in pride, if it is only measured by the interests in others. I exist. Therefore I am. And if you don't like that, then here is what you should do: Go out into the wild, and inform me upon your return, if I am present.
There really is beauty to be found amongst chaos. You only have to know what perspective to take.
Now sit down and take your pebble.
-Mandelbrot.
