I'm sorry if I sound confusing to anyone. I'm gonna try the best to express the feelings that I'm experiencing in my sober states. I'm not sure to many people feel this way, but if you do, what do you do about it? Maybe I'm just being irrational. But anyways My friend and I were going to trip on 5 grams of mushrooms together next weekend. I was excited for the trip, as I was going to do it alone, but thought he would be a good parnter to trip with. Two others wanted to join, one also agreeing to do 5 grams and the other; it was his first time tripping and I didn't feel comfortable with him consuming such a high dose on my highest dose yet. He wasn't interested in doing such a high dose, and wanted to do a dose aroudn 2-3 grams. Reasonable. But on my first high dose, which i've learned earlier in life, I don't like tripping with people who are not tripping, or are tripping for not spritual growth. And I know this kid is not into it for his own spritual growth, and he is just there to get high off something(I know this because he told it to me). I also do not like tripping with someone not on the same or realitivly same dose level, as what I will be experiencing on 5 grams will not be the same as he is experiencing on 2-3 grams. He will most likly have a eurphoric trip while I will proabably just want to lay down and be taken over by music. So then I decided to just say I want to trip by myself, as I would feel bad leaving him out and letting the others come. They then decided to trip by themselves at a different location then me. I get this feeling when I know people are going to be using this very sacred substances for not that reason. I know that his happens ALL over the world, and there is nothing I can do about it, but it seems like I still should try to stop it in some way. I knew that my father was right. He told me that it's not the psychedelic experience that would hurt me, it's all the knowledge that comes with it that is the killer. I'm now relizing that he was right. Maybe I should have listened and never got into psychedelics till I was older and could process this knowledge at a different rate/be able to handle it. Dose anyone else feel this way at all.
Sorry if this makes zero sence to no one, but I hope that someone out there can give me some advice to almost close out these feelings that I have. Or maybe they are natural and it's part of using the substances. Why must we live in such cruel world.
Sorry if this makes zero sence to no one, but I hope that someone out there can give me some advice to almost close out these feelings that I have. Or maybe they are natural and it's part of using the substances. Why must we live in such cruel world.