Girl troubles ... on going

[IJesusChrist]

It seems I am either
A: Stuck up
B: Blind when in love
or C: You decide.

It seems to me that the past 3! girlfriends I've had this exact same thing has happened:

I end up going steady/out/boyfriend/girlfriend with them and it is good for about 2-3 weeks, and then amazingly and right on the same note I say to myself : Oh god do I really like this girl, I mean at all?


I guess the real question is do you guys ever have a week long period where its hard to keep on going?

 

[toogoodforyou]

Are you dating the girl just for emotional security or do you actually enjoy her company and personality?? Is there sex in the relationship?? Sex will get you closer with the girl. Personally i don't believe in relationships without sex.

I've always been patient, and never rushed into a relationship. Always waited for someone i would sync with.... And i've had steady long term relationships with good sex.

Another thing is we psychonauts have different or advanced thinking than the general people..... that can be the issue.

 

[poisoninthestain]

I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.

 

[st.bot.32]

I guess the real question is do you guys ever have a week long period where its hard to keep on going?

Perhaps you are simply not ready to commit yourself to a relationship with the girls you met? (there could be many reasons for this)

 

[IJesusChrist]

I don't know, I'm not sure if I've completely felt love yet...
And no (she's very religious) and we've only been going for about 2 weeks now, she's never had a boyfriend, so I'm not trying to rush things...

But yeah. I need sex.
I'm going to ask her views on pre-marital sex and pray to god (...) that she says it's ok, otherwise seriously, I don't think I can do it.

I do like the girl - I did however tell myself "I need to find a chick" in january so that was kind of a push - but really do enjoy just hanging out with her, and god the sex would be good, I know it would. I just gotta break that barrier... (hopefully thats possible) and no pun intended.

... yeah and I really analyze the fuck out of a relationship far beyond necessary, .."psychonaut"

 

[Space-is-the-Place]

Sounds to me you're just in it for the physical and not for the emotional.
It's not a thing to build a relationship on (imho!)
If you don't want to wait, don't start a relationship, find a sex-partner, one without commitment.

I can identify a bit with this, there was a period I would rush into a relationship, but after a short while realised I wasn't really in love, so the thing wouldn't hold for longer then a month.
My advice is refrain from relationships for a while, ask yourself why you're not happy with yourself without a relationship (/or sex)
The moment you find yourself happy without the need for sex or a relationship, there will be someone to cross your path again.

Sex doesn't necissarilly bring you closer to someone, in fact it can make the gap even bigger and even can get a habbit, without you (or her) actually questioning of you're good together.

Nobody needs sex, if you think you need sex, refrain from it for a while and ask yourself why you need it to be happy.
In the sense of if you feel you need it, it sounds more like an addiction then the mindblowing loving experience of two people bonding as 1 that it should be.

*BTW: Seems like a topic for the Lounge, since this has nothing to do with Psychonautics

Lounge
Off topic discussion. Everything else can go in here: stories about your dog, the weather, your personal problems, etcetera...

 

[aryaman]

I'm not sure of that non-sex-needing... I don't need like a person, but as expression of feelings yes.
Like I need to hug someone, or to kiss her, or to stay with her just talking.

I mean, the real question is: Why not?
Yes, I think sex is overrated, but can be such a sweet thing...

The moment you find yourself happy without the need for sex or a relationship, there will be someone to cross your path again.

Depends... like, I am almost a lonely guy, don't have many friends or people around me (I made this choice 2 years ago, approximately), and when I feel like a girl in my life would be good I start to look me around... very difficoult for me that someone cross my path, unless she comes to the same forest where I go
So, a bit of pushing, not too much, I think is ok.


Can I ask you how does your psychonaut approach to life combine with her religious view?

edit: I agree, Lounge is better

 

[magickmumu]

I have been in a steady relationship with the same girl for years.
So I am not an expert on relationships.
But when looking around on Micheal Tsarion's web forum I came across this.

Quote

What is a "Relationship?"

Is it: Dependency under another name? Insecurity under another name? Vampirism under another name? I'm empty and I need you. You're empty and you need me!...(often called "Falling in Love")

Christians were told marriage was an alternative to damnation. Better to marry than burn! Fear paves the way.

Relationships!
The bane of the Piscean Age, and on its way out. Are you ready?

Another question you may want to be asking yourself today and for the rest of your lives...

WHAT IS IT THAT OTHERS MAKE ME FEEL THAT I NEED FROM THEM?


We always know what it is that we need from others. We often know quickly what others want from us. But finding out what it is that others may subtly make us feel we require from them (and which eventually makes us dependent upon them) is not so obvious. Love is not part of a transaction. It is the most PRIVATE thing there is or can be, in the full sense of that word. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and don't continue deluding yourself. Forget what the priests have said, and mummy and daddy, and all those without a clue who, in their egregious error, have made the world what it is today. You won't get it from the girl or the boy, the man or the woman, or from Jesus, or Allah. So stop looking for it in where it is not to be found! Realize that this very looking and seeking arises because of its absence within. The deer smells the tree bark for the musk produced by its own glands. You could laugh at that paradox. There is a greater madness abroad: Men looking for love from a stranger, for that which only his own heart and mind can produce. This is the secret of man's delirium - Mtsar (from the blog) End quote

http://www.redicecreations.com/mtsarfor ... sc&start=0


That's something to thing about isn't it? :lol:

 

[poisoninthestain]

Is it: Dependency under another name? Insecurity under another name? Vampirism under another name? I'm empty and I need you. You're empty and you need me!...(often called "Falling in Love")

...probably one of the best quotes I've ever heard in my life.

 

[IJesusChrist]

...you guys suck sometimes

 

[Space-is-the-Place]

I'm not sure of that non-sex-needing... I don't need like a person, but as expression of feelings yes.
Like I need to hug someone, or to kiss her, or to stay with her just talking

Well, you don't need anybody for that expression.
If you need to hug someone that still means you need someone.
You can hug yourself, or do masturbation, that can be a beautiful self-expression.
And I don't mean just jerking off, really feel yourself, be in touch, feel that energy flow through you and really get in touch with You.

I mean, the real question is: Why not?
Yes, I think sex is overrated, but can be such a sweet thing...

I didn't say sex was overrated (well, depends what kind of sex)
But if you crash yourself into relationships without actually being in love and discovering again and again that it's not for you, while still having the urge for sex then you can figure out why not.

Depends... like, I am almost a lonely guy, don't have many friends or people around me (I made this choice 2 years ago, approximately), and when I feel like a girl in my life would be good I start to look me around... very difficoult for me that someone cross my path, unless she comes to the same forest where I go
So, a bit of pushing, not too much, I think is ok.

Ofcourse you can look around, but I think the most important factor is what you radiate outwards. If you're going out with:"I'm desperate for sex" written on your forehead, or "I'm lonely" then fat chance the girls will not be interested in you. If you radiate:"I'm secure and happy with myself" then a lot more girls will pay attention to you.

But there's nothing wrong with being kind of secluded and being on your own either.

What I meant with crossing your path is that usually that happens when you don't expect it or when you are not looking, when you are happy with yourself and in full awareness of who you are.
There's nothing wrong with searching or dating, but the downfall can be you dragging yourself through meaningless encounters with the opposite sex.

...you guys suck sometimes

I know, right now I'm sucking on liquorice :mrgreen:

 

[aryaman]

I didn't say sex was overrated (well, depends what kind of sex)
But if you crash yourself into relationships without actually being in love and discovering again and again that it's not for you, while still having the urge for sex then you can figure out why not.

Maybe is just that I've never pass through this experience... I like sex just when I really like the other persone, and when I'm alone I never feel the needing of sex... of sweetness sometimes, but of sex never.
So I totally agree

There's nothing wrong with searching or dating, but the downfall can be you dragging yourself through meaningless encounters with the opposite sex.

Yeah, that's true too

 

[Space-is-the-Place]

Maybe is just that I've never pass through this experience...

Well that's good :thumbsup:
Saves you a lot of hassle


So, IJ, why do we suck?
You asked for advice and got it, so now you can either discard it and explain the fallacy of our reasoning (in other words express your opinion relating to the situation in context of the advice given) or do something with it.
Keep in mind that asking for advice and asking for something you want to hear are 2 different things.

You know we Love you! :heart:

 

[Nina_is_alive]

I think that alot of times people want a "relationship" more than them actually liking someone.

maybe you like her
or have a crush



personally, I try not to take anything to "relationship level" at all if I am not sure that they are someone I could fall in love with

you have to look for people with radiant soulsssss
it's something about their vibes, and a feeling you have inside
more than any rationale that tells you
if they are the right kind of person

but then again
you have to take risks


I say give it a week or two more and see how things feel
just dont stay in something for the dependency
or the comfort of having someone there, that isnt quite sincere for either of you.


maybe you just arent somewhere in your life where you need a relationship
if you end up breaking up
take some time out
and just look inside yourself, make sure you are secure and who you want to be


hah, we all over-analyze
no worries


and I agree
*lounge* would be better

 

[IJesusChrist]

Wellp! I'm sticking with the relationship.
I didn't get in it for sex, so that's not a reason to stay in or get out.
I *kind of* got in it because I just wanted a girlfriend.
But the reason I actually went after it, and kept going was the girl is so nice. I asked myself, well, could this really go anywhere - and yeah it could. She could never be mean, however, its not ALWAYS a bad thing. She is almost never mad, and mostly just happy. Plus she's cute.

I guess I stuck with her (more like kept attempting to go out with her) because she has alot more compassion than I do, and I really like seeing that in people. I kind of don't have much of it :roll:

And you guys suck cause some of your advice isn't want I want to hear

As of right now, I'm going to keep gathering my thoughts, and sticking with her.

 

[Space-is-the-Place]

And you guys suck cause some of your advice isn't want I want to hear

Hehe, that's cool

As of right now, I'm going to keep gathering my thoughts, and sticking with her.

Well good luck! :heart:
Hope it does work out.
Just keep in mind "wanting a girlfriend" or "really wanting to stay with her" are...
ah well, you already got the point probably.

:heart::heart::heart:

ps: me and Arimane just got sidetracked on the sex thing, but it wasn't only about that