A
akash
Guest
This fictional character decided to brew some ayahuasca tea. Tuesday was the day of brewing. The dream recipe was: 30g of caapi were boiled for about 30min in a mixture of demineralized water and vinegar, then repeated the process with fresh mixture for another 5 times but boiling the caapi only for about 15min. At the same time 9g of mimosa and 3g of viridis were boiled together in a mixture of vinegar and demineralized water, same process as with caapi. Total boiling time was around 3 hours. Caapi liquid and mimosa liquid were put in fridge overnight. The leftover caapi vine and mimosa were soaked overnight in a mixture of vinegar and dem. water. Then reduction through boiling.
Yesterday was the day of drinking. The leftovers were boiled together one last time for about 20 min and then filterd.
13u55 Wednesday afternoon, time for drinking. First the caapi was drank, about 10 min later the mimosa and about 5 after that the last boiling (caapi+mimosa).
14u15: everything was hatched down (like drinking puke) together with some demineralized water to get rid of taste.
Started meditation, asking to be shown my true nature.
14u30: had to throw up everything. felt very clean afterwords. Not long thereafter, light effects. Decided to get more comfortable and closed my eyes. Some interesting patterns for a couple of minutes. Then asked "who am i?".
14u30-15u30: The most amazing and wonderful intense experience. Felt embraced by love and that intensified untill there was nothing but that, no I anywhere. A most wonderfull feeling, then a thought came that this was only an experience, I asked aya if she would take me further. I wanted to know who I am and I said that I was willing to go through the most agonizing feelings if that was what it takes. Experience is only the wonderful part, but nothing would come. Then all of a sudden thoughts, ideas, concepts were sorta like snakes crawling through each other or a mingling of vines. Time, space, me, the mind were just one of the snakes. Grabbing after things, becoming, reaching, ... were seen to be just an appearance nothing special. There isn't a mind or an entity doing anything, doing happens. Looking for enlightenment just happens, it was seen to be a goal just like any other (getting love, money, power,...). Looking if there's still a 'me' as a sign of not being there yet will never end, because the 'me' is the looking. So the 'me' will never get it. It was seen that what is left (and what is always there) after the dissolving of the question "who am i?" is utter nothingness, silence, stilness, peace, love. All thoughts, ideas, stories about who we are, what the world is, which 'path' to follow were seen to be empty and were sucked into this void. It was realized that this silence was not only there on the inside, but also in the 'outside' world. Outside and inside blended into one, no more distinction. IT was everything, It was the kissing of me and my girlfriend, It was the flying of a bee, the growing of a tree, the building across the street, ... but also war, hunger, misery, frustration of not finding, the seeking,... IT was all there is and I was that. No words can capture it. I broke out in laughter, because I couldn't believe how incredibly simple IT is, how one could not see it before.
During all this there was grabbing after thoughts, but all the time there was this feeling of guidance, I would be trust upon some some other thought following that until coming to some insight. After having had one, I would be thrown back into this wirlpool of vines being guided to the next one or being guided to the same insight through another way.
During the entire trip and now still (thursday) there's this huge feeling of gratitude for what was shown and for the aliveness that is evrywhere.
As i read what I've written I can only say that it doesn't even come close to the real thing. It's given an aliveness to everything, from the most wonderfull to the most horrific. All I can say, unforgettable and wonderfull!
Yesterday was the day of drinking. The leftovers were boiled together one last time for about 20 min and then filterd.
13u55 Wednesday afternoon, time for drinking. First the caapi was drank, about 10 min later the mimosa and about 5 after that the last boiling (caapi+mimosa).
14u15: everything was hatched down (like drinking puke) together with some demineralized water to get rid of taste.
Started meditation, asking to be shown my true nature.
14u30: had to throw up everything. felt very clean afterwords. Not long thereafter, light effects. Decided to get more comfortable and closed my eyes. Some interesting patterns for a couple of minutes. Then asked "who am i?".
14u30-15u30: The most amazing and wonderful intense experience. Felt embraced by love and that intensified untill there was nothing but that, no I anywhere. A most wonderfull feeling, then a thought came that this was only an experience, I asked aya if she would take me further. I wanted to know who I am and I said that I was willing to go through the most agonizing feelings if that was what it takes. Experience is only the wonderful part, but nothing would come. Then all of a sudden thoughts, ideas, concepts were sorta like snakes crawling through each other or a mingling of vines. Time, space, me, the mind were just one of the snakes. Grabbing after things, becoming, reaching, ... were seen to be just an appearance nothing special. There isn't a mind or an entity doing anything, doing happens. Looking for enlightenment just happens, it was seen to be a goal just like any other (getting love, money, power,...). Looking if there's still a 'me' as a sign of not being there yet will never end, because the 'me' is the looking. So the 'me' will never get it. It was seen that what is left (and what is always there) after the dissolving of the question "who am i?" is utter nothingness, silence, stilness, peace, love. All thoughts, ideas, stories about who we are, what the world is, which 'path' to follow were seen to be empty and were sucked into this void. It was realized that this silence was not only there on the inside, but also in the 'outside' world. Outside and inside blended into one, no more distinction. IT was everything, It was the kissing of me and my girlfriend, It was the flying of a bee, the growing of a tree, the building across the street, ... but also war, hunger, misery, frustration of not finding, the seeking,... IT was all there is and I was that. No words can capture it. I broke out in laughter, because I couldn't believe how incredibly simple IT is, how one could not see it before.
During all this there was grabbing after thoughts, but all the time there was this feeling of guidance, I would be trust upon some some other thought following that until coming to some insight. After having had one, I would be thrown back into this wirlpool of vines being guided to the next one or being guided to the same insight through another way.
During the entire trip and now still (thursday) there's this huge feeling of gratitude for what was shown and for the aliveness that is evrywhere.
As i read what I've written I can only say that it doesn't even come close to the real thing. It's given an aliveness to everything, from the most wonderfull to the most horrific. All I can say, unforgettable and wonderfull!
oo:
