mystery1990
Matrice Périnatale
- Inscrit
- 15/1/12
- Messages
- 8
Hello,
my english isn't really good so there might be some typo's, sorry about that.
I have always been interested in spiritual/psychedelic trips. Unfortunatly I was young and irresponsible and I kinda took everything I could get. The most euphoric and interesting trip was an xtc pill containing MDMA, MDA and amphetamine, but since I was really depressed and sad (problems with my first love and parents) before i took the pill (and that was also the reason I wanted something to escape reality) the rebound was awfull. I smoked weed almost every day but two days after the xtc left my brain I triggered a panic-attack. It felt like i was choking and it lasted all night and morning. With all circomstances together I developed an anxiety-disorder. Almost 5 years after this life-taking "disease" I was completely isolated and broken.
Now I'm starting to see the paterns which is really interesting for my life. Sometimes a stronger emotion supresses the real emotion underneath. Here comes the reason I came to this forum: It's now even more important to search my entire soul and float through my emotions to reveal the roots of negative emotions and change them. I'm doing this right now with ambient music, meditation, medication (wich only helps supressing even more, wich is not helpfull but necassery at the moment), and finding my spiritual path. The goal of this is to discover my inner-self and turning my negative "ënergy" into positive. Eventually when I'm off medication and stabil I really want to go to higher levels, with herbs, organic food and psychedelics.
I also have a lot of experience with the ups and downs of GHB, tranquilisers and (unfortanutly) alcohol. This can be a little input to this site. I also want to share and experience ways of coming closer to the heart, destroying negative energy and overcome inner obstacles. I also really like reading how to trip safe and responsible, and of course trip-reports of wich I have read many already.
my english isn't really good so there might be some typo's, sorry about that.
I have always been interested in spiritual/psychedelic trips. Unfortunatly I was young and irresponsible and I kinda took everything I could get. The most euphoric and interesting trip was an xtc pill containing MDMA, MDA and amphetamine, but since I was really depressed and sad (problems with my first love and parents) before i took the pill (and that was also the reason I wanted something to escape reality) the rebound was awfull. I smoked weed almost every day but two days after the xtc left my brain I triggered a panic-attack. It felt like i was choking and it lasted all night and morning. With all circomstances together I developed an anxiety-disorder. Almost 5 years after this life-taking "disease" I was completely isolated and broken.
Now I'm starting to see the paterns which is really interesting for my life. Sometimes a stronger emotion supresses the real emotion underneath. Here comes the reason I came to this forum: It's now even more important to search my entire soul and float through my emotions to reveal the roots of negative emotions and change them. I'm doing this right now with ambient music, meditation, medication (wich only helps supressing even more, wich is not helpfull but necassery at the moment), and finding my spiritual path. The goal of this is to discover my inner-self and turning my negative "ënergy" into positive. Eventually when I'm off medication and stabil I really want to go to higher levels, with herbs, organic food and psychedelics.
I also have a lot of experience with the ups and downs of GHB, tranquilisers and (unfortanutly) alcohol. This can be a little input to this site. I also want to share and experience ways of coming closer to the heart, destroying negative energy and overcome inner obstacles. I also really like reading how to trip safe and responsible, and of course trip-reports of wich I have read many already.
