it's only a matter of perspective. it is logical to me, that when you lose the awareness of that fact, you start to fool yourself.
the power of will can be very strong, but when your ego has more control over you, than you have over it, then it's maybe like
as if you even get lost on the map, as if it wouldn't be enough to just do the same thing in "reality", too. :lol:
so yeah i can possibly conclude that it's a polarity/cycles thing like with all emotion. it may seem very obvious, that attitudes like expectation do influence your experience more than you may be aware of. you could even say you start to perceive reality not as it is, but as your emotional/mental perception seems to dictate you.
it's like the mental residual self-image. until you haven't eliminated it or that what it produces consistently, then it/"yourself" will most likely get in your way sooner or later. remember, that it's all now, always. the key is sometimes to just be able to accept what reality is in order "to live with it" .... it's also a possibility that we may get more influenced than we would like by factors out of our at least conscious control, subconsciously or unconsciously, making us products of our environments, too. something like that??
when you choose yourself as an enemy, you will very often have a very powerful enemy. so maybe what can help is self-honesty and forgiveness. because you for example weren't able to live up to your own or others' expectations... or you made mistakes too often repeatedly and can't seem to learn from it or even others' negativity drags you down a lot.
the key for me is a lot of progressive relaxation so you can more likely live without compulsive appearances of emotional/mental attitudes, that you attached to.
see, a lot of people for example tend to overanalyze almost everything. it's like they are addicted to thought in some form or another. so they identify a lot with what/who they think they are, because if it would die, they would feel scared etc etc...
not really considering, that it may not even be as real as they thought it were.
if you ask me, feeling is knowing while thinking is not. in the end you can only internalize everything. if you don't judge, you will most probably not be judged yourself.
maybe it can help too, to perceive your mind more as something you DO than something that you ARE, so you can avoid false identification with transient appearances of it. you get entrapped with cycles of pain when you do that too much.
loving yourself is important, yet if you don't "really" know who you are, it may seem apparent that you get confused.
unconditional love can free you from that and it's not as complicated as it may appear to be at first... if your own
mind stops getting in your way so much, i suppose you would be able to embrace the natural flow of things more easily.
with thinking it's a matter of balance like it's with everything... too much of it possibly isn't very beneficial just like not enough.
just some advice alright??? anyway maybe this underground rap shit has something to tell, as well...
[youtube]o5nGz0urx-k[/youtube]
peace 8)
edit: i just thought that maybe generally it's a little bit about trying to unite the split personality that you created, too... because in my opinion, that's what you sort of do, when you fail to recognize fully the polarity aspect of all emotion. except of course, the love that knows no opposite which is real love. so yeah that's the cure, basically...
i suggest you try to focus on your breath to get back your will power? you know energy can never be destroyed only
transformed... right?
edit #2: i noticed that i maybe didn't answer your question... i think it depends on YOU... but then again maybe the question is a bit stupid because you can't really separate the two things... i suppose euphoria belongs to dying-and being-reborn- trips
just like dying and being reborn belongs to euphoria trips??? maybe if you ask the wrong questions (whatever that may be), you get wrong answers too?? i hope that makes sense lol
