Dosing my mentally sick GF with LSD- advice please

[Christofoulos]

Hey guys, this is my first post, but I am excited about this community. I just recently began my foray in to the world of psychedelics and entheogens and I have to say, I am turned on in the best way.

About my gf; she is my age (22) and has suffered parental abuse as a child, including some sexual at a very young age. Her parents were and are verbally abusive, derogatory, belittling, angry and oppressive. This has resulted in her having feelings of anger, hate, revenge. Her first instinct with people is to take advantage, her goals in life are completely muddled... when I ask her what she wants to do, where she sees herself in 5 years, what subjects she wants to study, they ALWAYS revolve around gaining power and control over others, which makes total sense; she was robbed of power when she was young(and currently) and it has manifested as the desire to control others. She is a great girl, but she is mentally sick. She has even said she sometimes prevents herself from feeling, that she is emotionless often, and she is afraid it will not come back. She has told me, crying, that she cannot feel things. Again, this makes total sense considering her psychololigcal history and abuse.

I want to help her. My friend, who was somewhat similar to her, albeit more and open minded, had a life changing experience the first time we did acid at a friends cabin a few months ago. The feeling of oneness, connectedness, love as the highest good, etc. I felt it too, but it was not as pronounced as I was already practicing eastern meditations, oneness, yoga, etc.

I think a low dosage (1- 1.5 blotters, or 100-150 micrograms) in a warm, loving and safe environment with me, sober, can be very helpful to her. I will guide her through with total love and openness, with soft music, I want her to understand that hate and deception are not the way, and that love is. It sounds corny, but all of my friends that had their first trip have had their materialist heads blown and are open to the mystical and the divine now.
My question is, what are the risks? I am doing a lot of research, and I have heard that it is dangerous to do if there are underlying mental health issues. I would never forgive myself if I send her in to a spiral of mental health issues that she never recovers from, and she would certainly get her mind blown. She is stricly materialist, cringes at the idea of mysticism and 'new age' ideas, and has a loooot of deep, deep repressed emotions over her history of familly, peer and sibling abuse (some of it sexual). What do you think? Has anyone else tried to help someone they love with LSD or a similar pyschoactive? I also bought a book on MDMA and its theraputic use, and am considering that as well. I am most concerned with NOT CAUSING ANY DAMAGE that could last longer than the trip. I want her to open her eyes, to release that pent up energy, and to see love and forgiveness and in a way, to find "god", however you would describe that entity. I think LSD or MDMA have the serious potential to help her in her normal state, though a part of me is apprehensive about practicing pyschotherapy with powerful drugs on my vulnerable girlfriend(I think it would be worse if I WASNT apprehensive about such an undertaking).
Thanks for taking the time, hope to get some good feedback. Peace and love.

 

[IJesusChrist]

Good for you. I think actually this is what these drugs are for.

Since your girlfriend is not mentally ill in a sanity way - just in a deprived way, I would strongly encourage this. I think you being sober is a necessity, she needs you there and she needs to be able to trust you which brings up the question; how long have you been together?

You really need to have her in the most comfortable atmosphere she can acheive. Make the room/house warm and inviting, get her a favorite food before or during, make her feel very comfortable. The set and setting is crucial in this situation. If at all she has doubts, or you do, don't do this. Just do it when she is very relaxed and open.

Don't think of this as "curing" or "treating" someone who is sick. That is not the correct approach; what you are doing is showing someone ideas and places that could benefit them, but it is up to their own mentality to determine the outcome of this.

If you get pure MDMA it could be helpful, but without any other psychodelic experience MDMA will not bring long-lasting insight. It may keep her lighter on her feet for a few days, but in the end it will not change her perceptions of anything.

LSD or mushrooms are a good choice. If she takes a low-medium to medium sized dose this would be best. She needs to experience the thought process and the altered image of reality. She also will need to sit alone with herself for a while - it would be very good if she had introspection, but you cannot make that happen.

What this boils down to is you are going to give the lsd or shrooms to her, and she is just going to have to take what is given.

I want you to know there is the possibility of something bad happening. I gave a friend of mine who has the same problems DMT and he freaked out, badly. He wasn't quite right for a week.

Unless you are very knowledgeable and very confident in your ability to answer very hard questions very quickly, I would advise her to just "let it take you. I'll be here, but I will try not to interrupt your trip."

I Say this because if you are not confident in an answer, or a slight tweak in your voice takes over this can really effect someone's set.

With all this being said, I think it is a very good idea. Please let us know how this turns out.

 

[viljo]

Not to be rude but what is she catatonic.
I am not completely transparent I understand your intentions are genuine.
Honestly I just think you are the best thing she has and that LSD is not totally advisable.
Patience and understanding is something you already have and I totally respect you for that.

Why not try saving for a holiday or destination of her choice or spoil her with money and presents.
What I mean is I believe that the best medicine at present is the one that makes her laugh and forget about her past. I hope she can find herself though you and she has a great life one that you both deserve.

viljo

Although if you both decide to experience one can you please let me know the short and medium term effect it had on both of you. I have read conflicting reports on the matter.

 

[MrEmo]

are you a trained psychiatric professional?
no

 

[Sticki]

What your talking about is a big responsability and could make your relationship unbreakable or it could destroy you both.

I know exactly what you are saying but I think playing doctor could make her talk about her history in detail and it could hurt you far more then you could possibly comprehend. It makes me think of the old saying, A problem shared is a problem halved. But lets look at this in realistic terms. Would you like to walk around with even half the anger, resentment or idea's of revenge she does???

I think you should advise her to seek counselling to begin to address her issues and when she knows exactly what is troubling her she should take action to get resolution. For instance, Telling her parents what she thinks of them, Persuing some sort of legal action against her abusers and Finding happiness and love in life. Maybe when she starts getting the heavier things off her chest with a therapist she will open up bit by bit and you could enjoy a trip together where you can show her the beauty you have found within and all around.

However, If you do continue with this plan. Being sober is a wise idea, As she will probably become very manipulative of your experience and frame of mind if you were both under the influence, going by what you have said.

 

[IJesusChrist]

Sticki and viljo do have very valid points as well...

This is definitely not an easy situation to choose the destination.

I would still like to know how long you two have been together. If it is multiple years, I think I may condone my original post, however if you have been only seeing her for less than 2 years or so, I would actually highly recommend her talking to a professional. Although psychiatrists don't always do their job, this is one area where they are specifically good at.

 

[Christofoulos]

Thanks for the responses, first of all. I have a feeling I am going to really enjoy his community and become quite active.

We have been together for 3 and a half years and are extremely close and intimate. I know her extremely well and she knows I, so any comfort issue is not the problem.

She has done therapy, and talked to a shrink, both of whom did little to help her (I suggested she do better research and find a truly passionate, intelligence pyschologist who could actually make a breakthrough. These guys both did little to help her, very generic pyschiatry)

I should have noted that I am well read on both LSD and psychology, and have been reading a lot of Timothy Leary, John Lilly, and various reports on the theraputic usage of LSD and MDMA, respectively. I know the risks and the dangers, but there are few cases out of thousands where a patient/volunteer was dosed with LSD in a good environment that turned out bad. The worst cases are generally linked to the CIA and MK ULTRA, and anyone who is familliar with those dealings is aware how atrocious they were.

I am going to do more research. I have read a few of Leary's books, understand the importance of set and setting, and am speaking with anyone I can who has any information on it. It is unfortunate that everyones first reaction is "oh shit, LSD? What are you crazy? That drug fries you!" etc.

Actually, I have decided to go ahead with it, just now. Tens of thousands of patients were given LSD in the sixties as part of legal clinical trials, by psychiatrists who still beleived LSD to be a pyschotomemetic drug, who did nohing to alter the trip (just allowing it to naturally take its course without guiding), who had not taken LSD themselves, who really were just experimenting. I now at least have all of their research at my finger tips and the insight of looking back after 40 years. I mean, almost all of the people Al Hubbard dosed, a lot of them unbeknownst to them, turned out ok.

I will post my afterword, along with my research along the way. I should note that she is optimistic about it, and I am not coercing her in to this. It will most likely be a few more months if I am to go through with it, as I have more books to read on the subject. Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.

 

[spisshak]

nothing is more disgusting to me than a child molester.
that's fucked up in certain institions child molestors are singled out for severe punishment.

 

[itsscience]

This is just my opinion but I don't think you should do it.

LSD can be an amazing tool to open one's eyes to other possibilities but the person must be open to having their eyes opened. In my experience no matter how badly you want someone to change you cannot bring them to change unless they truly want it.

Given your gf's resistance to mysticism etc it's likely she's going to go into the trip as a sceptic and with some negative feelings - have you ever tripped whilst feeling sad, depressed or angry, not pleasant.

This poor girl has suffered experiences that go to the core of what it is to be human. To be betrayed by the very people of whom you depend for security, love and acceptance is probably the worst experience a human can have and there is no quick fix. Your gf may never get over this but there is only one sure way to help her and that is by showing her every day that love is possible, that the absolute c@#ts who raised her are the minority not the majority. I beleive you can only help her by being an example to her, an example of love, understanding and patience. Don't look for a quick fix in LSD or MDMA because for her injury there is no quick fix. One day she may be secure enough to benefit from an LSD experience but until then I think the best tonic for her will be love, afterall there is no greater high, no more perfect state than love.

Best of luck mate, your's and your gf's path is not an easy one but your post indicates you love, respect and truly want to help her - if you maintain that love and determination you guys will get there eventually.

 

[dbear]

I'd actually consider using MDMA instead, if you can find it. One of my closest friends is currently abroad in Jordan working with MDMA and war refugees with post traumatic stress disorder. MDMA trips, in my own opinion, are easier to control and focus on a specific issues. The time commitment isn't as daunting and if both of you are taking small dosages in a controlled environment and you really have the deep relationship you talk about, you and her both will walk out of that room more in love with each other than you ever considered possible (just a bonus.)

I completely disagree with IJesusChrist when he says that MDMA trips can't/don't produce lasting perceptual shifts. I can say that SWIM is not the same person he was before MDMA. It was MDMA, and not LSD, that brought him out of a pretty severe eating disorder.