S
Stiler
Guest
I've been skimming informational sites like this for years now, and just today decided to come out on here. Some basics about me...
I'm 30s and in the UK (M25 area). I never got into the recreational drug scene but I've felt right with drugs for self-exploration since my teens. I had friends in my 20s introduce me to cannabis, which was fun a few times, but I feel much more "right" with inner exploration. My inclination is to acid but despite asking friends since 2000 or so I've never had any luck. I don't seem to know the right kind of people, and the couple of friends who do drugs seem to be into pills and hash and can't help.
So I tried mushrooms instead, around 2003 when they were legal in the UK. First time I tried them was wonderful, a real insight into the psychonaut world,though I didn't know the word then. A friend who'd had experience took them with me, unfortunately his trip wasn't so good, he felt pretty down for a day afterwards. I kept brief notes of some parts of the trip, something I enjoy doing. I think I took a bit of a heavy heavy dose of shrooms, but more would have been okay too.
I tended to see textures and perspectives very enhanced, rather than color patterns. At one point near peak I told my friend that I wouldn't be talking a while, I had to roll around on the floor and let this overwhelm me. Maybe catharsis or overload. It was overwhelming but to the extent I thought during that part, I was much more concerned for him that he wouldn't get worried it being my 1st time, since I could feel I was okay, and mainly that he wouldn't interrupt it
(He didn't, he was great)
Either way it was intense but very profound to give myself up to its remorseless current and accept it taking me where it would. Not frightening at all, just very profound and intense. Life changing, or at least life opening. I saw things in ways that educated me and gained my appreciation of them. I saw that my friend was there in spirit and would depart one day in person, grieved for it, and understood it was the condition of all of us. It was many things, all special.
When the peak faded, I spent a few hours on a more level plateau, finding that some judgment over what I could and couldn't accomplish was residually subdued. Rational thought was fine - I knew I couldn't fly or walk through walls, I was alert and functioning, but some kind of deep subconscious beliefs that I couldn't play music, draw art, and so on, had surprisingly released its grip. When I noticed this, for the first time in my life, I drew two or three colour sketches, utterly free from the belief I couldn't. I still have those. I'd like to do that again.
I finally slept after some 5 hours, and woke up feeling so right inside and at peace with the world and focused on my life and the coming week. I learned so much about myself from it. It was a hell of a good thing to have done. I wouldn't like to overdo it, but I tried twice more in a couple of years. One was mild, one was very similar to the first but a little less intense (I was alone so I "played safe" on quantities). Then the law changed. I haven't managed to try since. I miss it. It was harmless, did good, and was right in my life.
That said, one entheogen I always felt right to consider, is acid. Not often, maybe 2 or 3 times a year. But I've trusted my instincts and it's a form of exploration, a doorway, I would like to try. I have immense respect for it, but I don't have fear of it, it's a tool to gain insight, and everything I have read says it's something that might be good for me to experience in a safe context. I expect an emotional roller coaster of a ride, but one that will educate and help me develop and understand myself better, and if lucky open a horizon or five. Problem is I've never had a friend into this who actually can deliver a few tabs. Again, not being in any drug scene means I have no idea how you find someone else, or a trustworthy source, or trustworthy tabs. If I did, I have friends I'd trust to be there and feel comfortable with. Why can't it be legal for small quantities?
Frustration! :!: It's at the point I'm seriously considering growing my own. But the small occasional quantity I need (not interested in making cash from it, don't know more than one or 2 people who'd want some) and acid needing manufacture not growth, means I'd be spending months for the one and waste most of it, and still not get the other I'm after. Do yellow pages have a listing for "Hallucinogen and entheogen retailers"? :lol:
So one day this week I'm wandering round the net and I find this site, and I think "OoOOo!! Other people into exploring it too". So I signed up
Not sure what I'd say here, but it feels good to finally be "out" to a community on this! Thanks for having this place!
I'm 30s and in the UK (M25 area). I never got into the recreational drug scene but I've felt right with drugs for self-exploration since my teens. I had friends in my 20s introduce me to cannabis, which was fun a few times, but I feel much more "right" with inner exploration. My inclination is to acid but despite asking friends since 2000 or so I've never had any luck. I don't seem to know the right kind of people, and the couple of friends who do drugs seem to be into pills and hash and can't help.
So I tried mushrooms instead, around 2003 when they were legal in the UK. First time I tried them was wonderful, a real insight into the psychonaut world,though I didn't know the word then. A friend who'd had experience took them with me, unfortunately his trip wasn't so good, he felt pretty down for a day afterwards. I kept brief notes of some parts of the trip, something I enjoy doing. I think I took a bit of a heavy heavy dose of shrooms, but more would have been okay too.
I tended to see textures and perspectives very enhanced, rather than color patterns. At one point near peak I told my friend that I wouldn't be talking a while, I had to roll around on the floor and let this overwhelm me. Maybe catharsis or overload. It was overwhelming but to the extent I thought during that part, I was much more concerned for him that he wouldn't get worried it being my 1st time, since I could feel I was okay, and mainly that he wouldn't interrupt it
(He didn't, he was great) Either way it was intense but very profound to give myself up to its remorseless current and accept it taking me where it would. Not frightening at all, just very profound and intense. Life changing, or at least life opening. I saw things in ways that educated me and gained my appreciation of them. I saw that my friend was there in spirit and would depart one day in person, grieved for it, and understood it was the condition of all of us. It was many things, all special.
When the peak faded, I spent a few hours on a more level plateau, finding that some judgment over what I could and couldn't accomplish was residually subdued. Rational thought was fine - I knew I couldn't fly or walk through walls, I was alert and functioning, but some kind of deep subconscious beliefs that I couldn't play music, draw art, and so on, had surprisingly released its grip. When I noticed this, for the first time in my life, I drew two or three colour sketches, utterly free from the belief I couldn't. I still have those. I'd like to do that again.
I finally slept after some 5 hours, and woke up feeling so right inside and at peace with the world and focused on my life and the coming week. I learned so much about myself from it. It was a hell of a good thing to have done. I wouldn't like to overdo it, but I tried twice more in a couple of years. One was mild, one was very similar to the first but a little less intense (I was alone so I "played safe" on quantities). Then the law changed. I haven't managed to try since. I miss it. It was harmless, did good, and was right in my life.
That said, one entheogen I always felt right to consider, is acid. Not often, maybe 2 or 3 times a year. But I've trusted my instincts and it's a form of exploration, a doorway, I would like to try. I have immense respect for it, but I don't have fear of it, it's a tool to gain insight, and everything I have read says it's something that might be good for me to experience in a safe context. I expect an emotional roller coaster of a ride, but one that will educate and help me develop and understand myself better, and if lucky open a horizon or five. Problem is I've never had a friend into this who actually can deliver a few tabs. Again, not being in any drug scene means I have no idea how you find someone else, or a trustworthy source, or trustworthy tabs. If I did, I have friends I'd trust to be there and feel comfortable with. Why can't it be legal for small quantities?
Frustration! :!: It's at the point I'm seriously considering growing my own. But the small occasional quantity I need (not interested in making cash from it, don't know more than one or 2 people who'd want some) and acid needing manufacture not growth, means I'd be spending months for the one and waste most of it, and still not get the other I'm after. Do yellow pages have a listing for "Hallucinogen and entheogen retailers"? :lol:
So one day this week I'm wandering round the net and I find this site, and I think "OoOOo!! Other people into exploring it too". So I signed up
Not sure what I'd say here, but it feels good to finally be "out" to a community on this! Thanks for having this place!
